MUSINGS AND AMUSEMENTS TO WELCOME 2025

Recently, my husband and I took a river cruise on the Rhine to visit the Christmas Markets. Some of my girlfriends asked if I actually meant to go on a Christmas Market cruise. The answer is a definitive YES. The markets and cities were magical, and this was a bucket list trip for me after watching so many (Hallmark) Christmas movies over the years and drooling over the exquisite markets. They did not disappoint! So, I have a few observations and musings regarding the cruise, the cities, the people, and most important, the local food at the markets. Here goes: MUSINGS 1) Cobblestone is incredibly tough to walk on when it's dry; forget how hard it is to negotiate when wet on rainy days! (it rained many days). 2) One should always bring a flashlight when traveling. Germany, France, and Switzerland get dark very early and with few street lights, it helps to carry a light, in addition to your phone flashlight. 3) Grafitti is EVERYWHERE. Especially in Cologne and Heidelberg, but throughout all of Germany, It is considered an art form and not painted over, as in our country. Often, (in my opinion) it detracts from the natural beauty of the buildings and parks, but generally, it is admired and welcomed. 4) It's great to have a pension! I had the opportunity to meet retired people with pensions who were cruising with us. There were teachers, principals, professors, administrators of colleges, judges, former CIA, federal government employees, etc. and these people were living the life! They had generous pensions, social security benefits, and all the time in the world to travel. 5) Much of the gift offerings at the markets are similar-if you've seen one, you've seen them all. Veer off and explore the cities-Cologne, Heidelberg, Amsterdam, Rudesheim, and Lucerne are beyond beautiful. So much to see, and do, and buy. 6) Man, do Germans love their Wurst! It is a staple in German Cuisine. It is eaten in the morning, afternoon and evening! There is bratwurst, knackwurst, leberwurst, currywurst, kohlwurst, etc. I could go on forever-there are 1500 varieties. They also love their beer and mulled wine to accompany the wurst. Every Christmas Market serves Wurst, beers, and mulled wines. 7) Every market we went to we indulged in the local food-all of it was delicious. My favorites: a)German Christmas Market Mushrooms(Champignons)in garlic sauce: ooh la la-deliciousness. b)Kartoffelpuffer-I love to say the word! It is an enormous potato latke fried from scratch and served with either applesauce or a garlic sourcream. This seems to be the most popular offering at the markets-the lines are long and for good reason. It doesn't disappoint. YUM. c)Flamkuchen-German skinni(est) flatbread pizza with onion, bacon, and cheese. The crispiest cracker-like crust can be done a zillion ways-if you don't want meat, order it with vegetables and cheese. Wonderful with a glass of crisp cold German wine. So incredibly fabulous. d)Fondue-They serve their fondue with potatoes and bread for the dipping. Just paste 20 lbs. to my hips. I literally wished I had a spoon to eat the fondue directly from the pot. Nothing beat sitting outside by the river with fur blankets looking at the twinkling lights of Lucerne and enjoying this local dish. You're on vacation. Live a little. Eat their wonderful cheeses, amazing chocolates, and fabulous wines. It's so worth it! AMUSEMENTS 1) The Split-two part wedding special. Dec 29. It should be coming to Hulu. The first three seasons are on Hulu now. A family of female divorce lawyers. Very Good. 2) The Agency-An undercover CIA is forced to abandon his secret life and return to London where the love of his life reappears. Michael Fassbender and Richard Gere-so easy on the eyes. But, I don't know WTF is happening. Hard to follow. HBO 3) Shrinking-All star cast with Jason Segel and Harrison Ford about a group of shrinks and their lives. Funny, touching, fabulous.... Apple TV. 4) Bad Sisters-A dark comedy about sisters being investigated for the death of their brother-in-law. Bingeworthy and enjoyable. Apple TV 5) Yellowstone-Season 5 just finished. Such a great series. You can't take your eyes off Beth and Rip. Who needs Costner? Rumor is there will be a spin off with Beth and Rip. Love this show. Paramount+. 6) Virgin River-Season 6 just ended. It's a sappy, soap opera type show, which I admit, I have indulged in every season. Mindless and sweet. Easy viewing. Netflix. 7) The Sticky-Jamie Lee Curtis and Margo Martin star in this series about a syrup farmer. Holds no interest for me. Prime. 8) No Good Deed-Ray Romano and Lisa Kudrow. Three families competed to buy the same home, which they believe will solve their problems. I have to be honest-I couldn't stand listening to Lisa Kudrow. I had to turn it off. Netflix. 9) The Bad Monkey-Vince Vaughn stars as a former Police Dept. member turned health inspector trying to solve a case involving a human arm. Not for me, but people like it. Apple TV. 10)Dexter-Original Sin-An all star cast with Christian Slater, Patrick Dempsey, and Sara Michelle Geller. I haven't started this but remember liking the original Dexter. This isn't calling to me. Showtime. 11)Disclaimer-starring Cate Blanchette and Kevin Kline. Psychological thriller which I really liked. Very controversial-many hated it. See for yourself. Tidbit: Leila George, who plays the young Blanchette is absolutely stunning. Once married to Sean Pean; daughter of Greta Scacchi and Vincent D'Onofrio. I give it a thumbs up-worthwhile watch. MOVIES(additional AMUSEMENTS) 1) A COMPLETE UNKNOWN-Run, don't walk. Timothy Chalamet is incredible as Dylan and Monica Barbaro is fabulous as Joan Baez. Ed Norton and Elle Fanning are also exceptional. These are academy worthy performances and it is a beautifully crafted film. Do not miss this. In Theaters. 2) BabyGirl-Maybe crawl and possibly go, but with trepidation. Nicole gives a stellar performance, but be forewarned. This has tons of dominant/submissive sex throughout and at times, is extremely difficult to watch. I also didn't find her co-star Harris Dickinson that appealing which made it even a bit more challenging for me. Anyway, she will be nominated for an academy award for this performance. My advice: watch it at home-not in the theater! 3) The Brutalist-Coming very soon to theaters. Starring Adrien Brody. Escaping postwar Europe, Architect Lazlo Toth is commissioned to create a building by a wealthy client who recognizes his talent. Running time is 215 minutes with an intermission. Supposedly, a phenomenal masterpiece. Can't wait to see it. Pee before it begins! And bring snacks!! 4) The Last Showgirl-starring Pamela Anderson and Jamie Lee Curtis. Directed by Gia Coppola. After a successful 30 year run, a showgirl needs to plan her future when the show closes. Anderson is receiving critical praise for her performance. Looks like it will be great! Coming soon. MOVIES(additional Amusements to watch at home) 1) Goodrich-AppleTV. Michael Keaton is wonderful in this touching movie. I loved it. So worthwhile. 2) My Old Ass-Prime. An 18th birthday mushroom trip brings a girl face to face with her 39 year old self. I liked it! Worth a look. 3) Fly Me To The Moon-Prime. All star cast: Scarlett Johanssson, Channing Tatum, Colin Jost, Woody Harrelson. Romance between a marketing executive and a NASA official. I watched it on the plane! It was cute. I recommend it. 4) Little Fish-Starring Cate Blanchette. It got good reviews but full disclosure: I fell asleep. It was sad and depressing and slow. Doubtful I'll give it another try. Amazon Prime. 5) The Fabulous Four-Ensemble cast: Midler, Sarandon, Spacek, Mullally. Friends travel to Key West to be bridesmaids to Midler. Absolutely horrible, but you might find it charming! Amazon Prime. 6) Maria-Suppposedly, an exceptional performance by Angelina Jolie portraying Maria Callas. Again, it didn't hold my attention and I fell asleep. Might try again but I'm not a huge fan of Jolie. See for yourself and decide. netflix. LOCAL RESTAURANTS I WANT TO TRY: Napoli-Montclair. Amerigo-Berkley Heights. Osteria Lk-Maplewood. ALL ARE BYO. BAUBLES FOR MY AMUSEMENT The jewelry line I'm coveting these days is Reza. Pretty and pric.ey. Bangles and Collars are exceptional worldofreza.com As the year of 2024 comes to an end, I am so thankful for my wonderful family, my amazing friends, and everyone in my life that helps me get through each minute, day, week and month-you all know who you are. I take nothing for granted at this point in my life. Every day is a true gift! That being said, it is a time for reflection, renewal, and growth. We must continue to be curious, to learn, and to grow. That's what will keep our bodies and minds young. Sometimes it's scary to try new things and step outside of your comfort zone. But, we must feel the fear-and do it anyway! That's the definition of GROWTH. May we all continue to flourish, grow, and learn in the year 2025. Wishing you a year filled with HOPE, HAPPINESS, HEALTH AND PEACE. PEACE OUT-ONE B

HOW TO MANAGE FAMILY DYNAMICS STRESS FREE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I hosted this holiday for 45 years and gave it my all every year. There was nothing more fun than getting my family together and celebrating how much we all have to be grateful for. As the years went on, a move from a home to a condo occured. We downsized. As my home grew smaller, my family grew larger. My daughters brought boyfriends, who eventually become husbands. They went on to have children and each year the day brought more happiness and new cherished attendees(my grandchildren)to our holiday table. I then decided to also host the next day to accommodate siblings, in-laws, college friends, nieces, nephews and may others. Two years ago, somewhat regretfully, slightly reluctantly, and somewhat relieved, I decided to turn over my hosting duties to my most capable daughters. I could no longer accommodate the quantity of people or do the quantity of work that it entailed. I still make 14 desserts and several sides so I haven't given up my role entirely-after all, what would Thanksgiving be without Gramercy Tavern Brownies, Three day rockin' rice pudding, and Emeril's chocolate bread pudding with fresh schlag? Inevitably, even families who have strong and loving relationships can hit snags at this time of year. The younger group (my daughters/their husbands) have lots to do: In addition to work and kids schedules, they now have also taken over the planning, shopping, cooking, and hosting. And the older generation must let go of the many roles we used to take on at the holidays. Now, being on the sidelines, personally, I feel a bit removed and a little sad. Maybe even invisible? In addition, many of our loved ones are now missing- In my case, my sister and her husband live in South Carolina, my parents, my husband's parents, and my brother-in-law have all passed. It's somewhat bittersweet. Your loved ones who are present need to understand, recognize, and empathize the difficult emotions the older generation might be experiencing. On the plus side, this year for the first time, I have my sister-in- law, brother-in-law and their children(whom I adore)! That makes me ecstatic! Yet, regardless of how much we all love one another, tensions do arise and expectations might not be met, and some eye rolling might occur! If someone pisses you off, don't respond right away-take a pause. Learn to disagree in a more agreeable way. Maybe ask the person why they made that comment and try to understand rather than be confrontational. Respect one another-let's veer away from politics for one evening, and keep your phones out of sight for the night. It's a lot of work to put this day together. Show your appreciation. In my personal experience, over the years, many of my loved ones find it entertaining to jest with me thinking that it's funny and I can handle it. So full disclosure, I can't. In that moment of jest, I actually feel disrepected and unloved. Instead, families should try to focus on the positives. Be thankful for the multitude of blessings we have right in front of us. Express gratitude and thanks to your family and friends for their support. Thus,the name, THANKSGIVING. With the upcoming holidays of Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, and the New Year, try and remember to do the following: BE KIND; BE GENTLE; BE RESPECTFUL; BE PATIENT; AND BE PRESENT. And, hopefully, you will have a stress free holiday season! PEACE OUT: ONE B

TURNING 70 ON THE WEEKEND OF TESHUVAH

In several weeks I will be having a major birthday. I can't believe the actual number-it is daunting! As it turns out, my birthday falls on the weekend of Yom Kippur, a time when we ask for forgiveness, atone for our sins, and ask to be written in the Book of Life. Rather than hyper focussing on the number I will shortly become, I started to examine some of the Al Chet prayers (44 of them) that we repeat many times throughout Yom Kippur services. My birthday should be a time of reflection, just as Yom Kippur is a time of reflection. Full disclosure, I am not a very religious person. I grew up in Westfield and attended the reformed Temple Emanuel led by the renowned Rabbi Kroloff. Rabbi Kroloff Bat Mitzvahed me and also married Jud and me. Yet, eventhough I am not religious, I fully embrace my Judaism. This milestone Birthday forces me to acknowledge that we do not live forever. We all must struggle to right our wrongs now, and apologize to those we have hurt. All of us seek to be forgiven-everyone is imperfect. We all make mistakes at one time or another. Part of being human is making mistakes and learning from them. And, then, learning to forgive ourselves while striving to do better. When one begins to look at the task of Teshuvah(repenting),it can be overwhelming. I want to examine just a few of the Al Chet prayers during this time of reflection. "For mistakes we have committed against you by having a hard heart." We can ask ourselves was I kind, compassionate, and loving when my family and friends needed me? "For mistakes we committed without thinking or without knowledge." Do I carefully examine my surroundings and weigh what is right and wrong? Here the question of how do we deal with people who hold differing views from our own? This is especially relevant regarding the deep polarization and negativity of political parties in the last decade. We might react to an opinion we encounter either in conversation or in the media and think, how can any reasonable human actually believe something like that? We must try and temper our judgement and not admonish those for having a different view than our own. Maybe, just maybe, we can have a civil discussion to understand one another's reasons for their thoughts. "For mistakes we committed before you through things we blurted out with our lips." Do I think before I speak? Do I gossip, or engage in idle chatter or foolish speech? Do I elevate others with encouraging words? "For mistakes committed before you by degrading parents and teachers? Do(Did) I sometimes act disrepectfully to my parents? Do(Did) I recognize and appreciate how much my parents have done for me? Am I respectful of my teachers, and grateful for their knowledge and help? Do I give enough special attention to the needs of the elderly and empathize with their frustration in the aging process? "For mistakes committed before you by throwing off the yoke, which means refusing to accept responsibility." Am I reliable and dependable? Have I accepted family responsibilities and gladly assisted whenever needed? Have I said I am sorry for my actions? Birthdays and Yom Kippur force us to think about our journey through life, our past actions, and to always cherish our friends and family while also staying true to ourselves. It is a time to search our hearts once again and to banish anything that is displeasing. To DO BETTER and to BE BETTER. There is always room for improvement, no matter how old we are. Wishing all of you a Happy and Healthy New Year. PEACE OUT - ONE B

THE LAST VESTIGES OF CHIVALRY

Manners are extremely important. I often observe people and note that many men, women, and children are not respectful of others. This goes back to what we are taught at an early age from our elders. Originally, Chivalry started as a code of honor for Knights at war in the Middle Ages. The combination of qualities expected of an ideal Knight were courage, honor, courtesy, and justice. Later, chivalry was defined as a gallant and a distinguished gentleman. It was the honorable and polite way of behaving by men towards women. Is Chivalry dead today? I can tell you that my Dad and my Father-in-law were consummate gentlemen. I, too, am lucky to have a husband who is the ultimate gentleman not only towards me, but towards all women, and towards all humans regardless of their gender. Some examples of (his) chivalrous actions are: 1) Holding a door open. 2) Always coming around to my side of the car to open the door for me; and when raining, to open the umbrella for me and walking me to my destination. 3) Standing up when a woman approaches a table and not return to sitting position until they leave, or if they insist that he sits down. 4) Pulling out a chair for me at a restaurant and pushing me in. 5) Offering me his jacket when I'm cold. 6) Truthfully, if he had a cape, he would lay it down over a puddle so that I wouldn't ruin my shoes! 7) Helping me put on a coat or jacket, and then helping me to take it off. 8) Going to the front door to pick up a date (when we were dating). But often going to the front door to retrieve our friends for a night out (when we are driving and we go to pick them up.) 9) Always offering his seat on a train, a bus, in the airport, at a doctor's office, or while waiting to in the foyer of a restaurant to be seated at our table. 10) In the movie, the Intern, starring Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway, DeNiro explains to his younger colleagues why he carries a handkerchief. He doesn't use them, but he says "you never know when a women will need one." (My dapper and James Bond-like father- in-law,Jerry, ALWAYS carried a handkerchief!) Some may believe that chivalry is patronizing and based on misogynistic ideas. Why should we praise men for doing the bare mininmum? Nor should Women should not be considered delicate or fragile. Many parents might object to teaching their young sons to practice these chivalrous acts. My response to this is that we should be teaching BOTH our sons and daughters to be generous and helpful at all times. Practice kindness towards everyone: boys, girls men, women, and the elderly-EVERYONE. These acts exhibit common courtesy and decency. In essence, true chivalry is showing respect for others. I might add to this list that there is no need to use technology while socializing. We need to stow away our phones in social situaltions. While dining or chatting with others, there should not be a phone on the table or in your hand. You should focus on, and enjoy the people in front of you. Looking at your phone at these times is just plain rude and insulting. (Of course, there are exceptions: emergencies, baby sitter calls, etc.) Personally, I don't interpret chivalry as sexist. I very much appreciate good manners. Teach your children and grandchildren they can and should offer help to others regardless of gender. In your house, teach gender equality for all chores and for the occupations they can choose later in life. Both sons and daughters can take on domestic labor: do the laundry, fold the laundry, wash dishes, cook, vacuum, reset a fusebox, unclog a drain, change sheets or make a bed. And, children should also be confident in the knowledge that they can be anything they want to be. Most importantly, your children and grandchildren should understand that being a nice person means being respectful and responsive to others needs. DeNiro says in The Intern, "You're never wrong to do the right thing." Joke of the day: How is Coors Light like making love in a canoe? They're both f'---ing close to water. Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend! Happy Birthday Dani and Lily-love you to the moon. PEACE OUT-ONE B

TARGET THE TOXIC AND DEMAND BETTER

I have bit my tongue long enough. WARNING: My Republican friends-STOP reading now. I am about to give you an honest account of the political atmosphere we are witnessing (in the U.S. and in many other countries as well) on a daily basis. I am sure this blog will be offensive to some, and you will adamantly deny my words. So please, do not continue. On July 29, Peter Wehner wrote an insightful opinion piece for the N.Y. Times. Wehner, a Republican, was the former speechwriter for the administrations of three Republican Presidents: Reagan and Both of the Bush's. During those administrations, his party was anti-Russian, against authoritarian leaders, Pro-Nato, Pro-free trade, and liked legal immmigrants. Wehner has dedicated his life to the Republican Party and now feels this party presents the greatest political threat to our country and our democracy. When he worked for those three Presidents, he explains," Morals were an essential trait for political leaders and the President." He warns us that Trump's divisive rhetoric, incessant lies, and lack of morals will be the demise of this nation and the Republican Party for years to come. He further explains that Trump is a "personal political machine" and not a "traditional party political machine." He requires staunch devotion to himself and total loyalty and capitulation to himself. Thus, "he puts loyalty above electability". He uses intimidation, bullying, and coercion to distract from the real issues (which he NEVER discusses). He has successfully tapped into the resentment of millions of voters, but has done nothing to find solutions to their problems. He breeds hate, and instigates his followers to feed off their emotions of anger, their grievances, and vengence. The once Republican Party of "law and order" now adores a man who is a felon, who was found liable for sexual assault, and who promises(if elected President) to pardon the convicted (jailed) band of J6 criminals that attacked the Capitol and the Police. Trump was ahead in every poll last week, but he has sabotaged his lead. If anyone saw the interview with the NABJ (National Association of Black Journalists), you would have been horrified. Trump was agitated, rude, racist, mysoginistic, and disrespectful to a room filled with exceptional journalists. He screamed self-serving lies at the three interviewers; he questioned if Kamala Harris is actually Black and said "we should look into it". Are we back to the playbook which questioned if Obama was born in the U.S. and now, too, he is questioning Harris's race, and if she actually passed the bar, etc.? If only he would discuss his policies and stop the unhinged distractions. I firmly believe he is uninformed in foreign policy, national issues, and women's rights. And, in order NOT to discuss real issues, he just chooses to criticize people at every turn. Watch out J.D. Vance-you may be next because you have offended so many women. Donald Trump is at a total loss on how to defend you. He will discard you, and turn on you, just as he did to his former Vice President, Mike Pence. If offending the Black population the other day wasn't enough-he then started railing on the Jewish community who didn't vote for him in the last two elections. He actually said, " A Jewish American who votes for a Democrat is an absolute fool." No one should be targeted for their beliefs-you can be pro Israel, disagree with Netanyahu, and be a Democrat! Trump also agreed with an interviewer that the second gentleman, Doug Emhoff is a "crappy Jew." This type of dialogue is hateful, antisemitic, and toxic. So, in addition to offending Women who don't have children, he has offended the Black and Jewish communities as well. Keep going Mr. Trump-you have successfully isolated many woman, many Blacks, and many Jews-who will be your next target? America deserves a leader who tells the truth, and who understands our differences are what define us. We deserve the freedom to vote, to be safe from gun violence, to read whatever we want and not to ban books , to love whoever we want to love, and equally important; we deserve the freedom tp choose what we do with our bodies. There is no place in this world for hateful rhetoric. We must Demand Better. Enjoy the rest of the summer! You may need heavy doses of Xanax.... PEACE OUT ONE B

DIVERSIONS AND DISTRACTIONS

If there was ever a time in our lives when we could use a diversion, it is RIGHT NOW! Neither candidate has the mental acuity to lead our country. Can we all admit and accept that Biden and Trump do not have the ability to reason, focus, or recall information at optimum speed? Enough said! So, I have comprised a list to keep us sane through all this insanity. Let's start with a list of restaurants I want to try in New York and in New Jersey. I have not had a meal at any of these, so I cannot vouch for the cuisine. Alice Restaurant-126 W. 13th Street. It's an Italian seafood and lobster bar located in the basement of a historical brownstone. Blue Willow-40 W. 56th Street. Refined Asian serving dim sum, noodles, cool cocktails. Cathedrale-112 E. 11th street. Dramatic dining room serving French-Mediterranean food. Frenchette-241 West Broadway. French bistro open for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. Meduza Mediterrania-657 Hudson Street. Varied Mediterranean options-looks great! The Milling Room-446 Columbus Ave. Lovely space serving American fare. There's a tavern/pub also. Montes-97 Macdougal Street. Old World Italian. Neighborhood restaurant that's been there forever. Grumpy waiters and great for families! Osteria 57-57 West 10th. Serving pastas and fish for dinner. Also serves brunch. In the heart of Greenwich Village. San Sabino-113 Greenwich Ave. West Village Italian Seafood by chefs from Don Angie. Tough to get a res. Semma-60 Greenwich Ave. Southern Indian food getting accolades. Third Kingdom-21 E. 7th Street. Vegan and the focus is on mushrooms! DRINKS And SNACKS Le Rock-45 Rockefeller Plaza. Not worth going for dinner, but a fun place to stop in for a drink if you're near Rockefeller Center. Upscale vibe. Delmonico-56 Beaver Street. Always great Steak, but the bar has amazing drinks and you can eat at the Bar. John Georges Tin Building-96 South Street. Amazing food court concept with many Restaurants, Bars, and shopping. Stop in for a nibble and a drink! Bonito By The River-190 River Road Edgewater.Spanish, Greek, and Italian falavors. Great cocktails and outdoor dining. Cantina 46-88 U.S.46, Ridgefield, NJ. Drinks, Mexican Food, Steaks, Fun. Tommy's Tavern and Tap House-823 NJ3 Clifton. This is a chain that I am very interested in trying. Comfort Food, Cocktails, and TV! WHAT'S ON MY READING LIST? All The Colors of Dark-By Chris Whitaker. Story about a pirate, serial killer, beekeeper, etc. I'm reading it now and like it! Remarkably Bright Creatures-By Shelby Van Pelt. I already read this! LOVED-so charming. You'll laugh out loud and smile till the end. Martyr!-By Kaveh Akbar. Addiction, guilt, grief, martyrdom are some of the themes. Bear: A Novel-By Julia Phillips. A story about sisterhood and also the mystery of animals that live among us. Night Watch-By Jayne Anne Phillips. Winner of the Pulitzer for Fiction 2024. Mother Daughter Story set during the Civil War. The Friday Afternoon Club-By Griffin Dunne. The son of Dominick and the brother of Dominique writes a compelling memoir. GREAT REVIEWS. Absolution-By Alice McDermott. Two American women try to help the people of Saigon. A Calamity of Souls-By David Baldacci. A racially charged murder case in Southern Virginia in the year 1968. Yellowface-By R.F. Kuang. Juniper Song didn't write the book she claims she did, and she's not really Asian American! Sounds interesting. TELEVISION-YOU KNOW I DON'T SLEEP SO I'VE SEEN MOST OF THESE! THE BEAR- HULU.One of the best written shows ever. Young chef in Chicago. EILEEN-HULU. Anne Hathaway. Thriller/mystery. THE IDEA OF YOU-PRIME. Anne Hathaway. Romance/Comedy. LITTLE STEVEN-HBO MAX. Documentary about Stevie Van Zandt. DIANNE VON FURSTENBERG:WOMAN IN CHARGE. HULU. Documentary on Dianne Von Furstenberg. I AM: CELINE DION. PRIME. Documentary on Celine Dion and her current health. FANCY DANCE-APPLE. Lily Gladstone (from Killers of the Flower Moon) is the star. A FAMILY AFFAIR-NETFLIX. Nicole Kidman, Zac Ephron, and Joey King star in this movie. DIVORCE IN THE BLACK-PRIME. Tyler Perry's newest flick released today! AND LADIES IF YOU WANT TO TRY OUT SOME NEW MAKEUP: Try Augustinus Bader -The Rich Cream. 15ml is $96 buckaroos-it's not cheap! And my newest obsession is: Il Makiage Power Lift Anti-Aging Collage-Boost Priming and Plumping Cream $66.00 Il Makiage Woke Up Like This Flawless Base Foundation. $45.00 Nemat Amber Fragrance Oil Or Nemat Egyptian Musk Fragrance Oil $17.00 at Ulta. So slather on the Bader moisturizer, apply the Il Makiage primer, and then the luscious foundation. (Buy the foundation blending brush for $45.00). Then, Dab your wrists with Amber fragrance and go out to one of those fabulous NYC restaurants. And, whatever you do, DON'T turn on the news!! STAY COOL! PEACE OUT-ONE B

ENDINGS CAN BE NEW BEGINNINGS

Recently, I've been feeling blue. I guess it all began when I was watching my two youngest grandchildren (boys) graduating from their respective nursery school programs. They are now on their way to kindergarten in the fall. Then, we celebrated my eldest grandson's twelfth birthday, right before he and his (almost) ten year old brother departed for sleep away camp. The grandchildren who are too young to attend sleep away now leave the house at 8 a.m and return at 5 p.m. All good things, right? Especially, for the parents who get a bit of a break for the next several weeks. It makes me a little sad though-I miss them! I recall when each of these kids started Nursery and were hanging onto their parents and shedding a tear. Or, was that their parents who were crying?! In fact, I remember leaving my mom for kindergarten and how clingy I was; and of course I remember my two little daughters doing the same. There were plenty of tears and worries coming from both the children and the parents. But, as we all know, by the end of Nursery school, the kids are proud and happy and excited to move on. I am reminded as I age, that we don't have forever. Change is constant-nothing stays the same. Our children grow up, go to school, go to college, move out, get jobs, and often have their own families. Letting go is hard-it all goes by so quickly! Rabbi Leder, former Senior Rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in L.A. says, " that all of life involves separation; every departure is an arrival; and finally, that endings can also bring new beginnings." All of this is so true, but sometimes it's hard to let go and allow your loved ones to move on. We all love the comfortable and familiar, but we must be able to continue to grow. However, it's a bit of a conundrum. If you are lucky enough to have your health, and have your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, and your parents around; it can be hard to create the proper balance. One needs to focus on what stage of life you are in now, and examine what you priorities should be. If you care about someone, tell them and show them. Don't push it to the backburner for another day. My parents are no longer alive, and often my thoughts haunt me. Was I a loving daughter? Did I do enough for them while they were here? Did they feel loved and appreciated? Could I have done more? But, thankfully, my husband, children, and grandchildren ARE here! So I try to find the balance of giving them space and showing them how much I cherish them. How can you show your love? Keep in mind it's different for each relationship. Different strokes for different folks. And for my children and grandchildren, the same issues plague me-do I do enough? Do I show them how much I love them? Do they appreciate me as much as I do them? How can we show the ones we love how much we care? Some Acts of Love I think are crucial: 1) Words of Affirmation 2)Spending Quality Time (put your phones away-focus on one another) 3)Acts of service(do the laundry, shop for groceries, clean a room, drive a carpool, babysit, take the garbage out, do the dishes, run errands, check in on them) 4)Grand Gestures-treat them to something special: a nice meal, a special few hours together, a great trip, a piece of jewelry or art, a sporting event or concert) and 5) Physical Touch. Don't wait! "SHOWER THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE WITH LOVE, SHOW THEM THE WAY YOU FEEL, THINGS ARE GONNA WORK OUT FINE, IF YOU ONLY WILL." (JAMES TAYLOR) Remember, the quote from my favorite movie: "LIFE MOVES PRETTY FAST. IF YOU DON'T STOP AND LOOK AROUND ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU COULD MISS IT." (FERRIS BUELLER) Enjoy the summer! PEACE OUT-ONE B

WELCOME SPRING 2024

Around this time each year, I like to give some tips for you to try. FOOD Free Fries Friday-For the rest of 2024, Wendy's will give out free fries with a purchase. Just download their app and the offer is there! Highlawn Pavillion Bar (West Orange, NJ)-Instead of eating in their dining room, opt for dinner at the bar or at a high top. There's often music, and the menu is reasonable. It's fun and happening! Jimmy's Family Kitchen (Verona, NJ formerly Miele's)-The salads, shrimp beeps, and chicken savoy remain. The menu is much more limited but also kid friendly. The owners are lovely and the service is far better than Miele's! Licorice.com-If you are a licorice lover, this is a great site! The red and white aussies are the best! Funky Chunky-If you are a popcorn lover, try this. All flavors are delicious: peanut butter cup, chocolate pretzel, sea salt caramel, etc. Gioia Mia-(Montclair, NJ-formerly Fascino)-Upscale Italian. I haven't tried this yet, but it's on my list! Belgiovine's Italian Deli-(Montclair)-A favorite in Montclair with amazing sandwiches. BOOKS Table For Two-Amor Towles. The writing is extraordinary. I liked his short stories more than the novella. Worth the read! My Name is Barbra-Barbra Streisand. It goes on forever and you should listen to it rather than read it. However, if you are a food lover she describes every memorable meal, snack, dessert, and sandwich with intricate detail-it's hilarious. New York Magazine wrote an article about her love of food! After Annie-Anna Quindlen. It's been a while since Quindlen wrote a novel. I am in the middle of this book, which is about how a family and a best friend cope after a major loss. Also worth a look! COSMETICS (MY FAVORITE TOPIC!) Trish Mcevoy's Instant Eye Lift-$46.00. Blends flawlessly under the eye and doesn't feel heavy, or cause crease lines on aging skin. Anastasia's Beverly Hills Brow Definer-$26.00. The pencil is cut on a slant and there is a blending brush at the other end. One of the best brow pencils. Dazzle Dry Four Step Nail System-$72.00 for the system. $22.00 for the polish. This is the best polish! No need for gels ever again. This lasts for two weeks! The colors are limited though. La Roche Posay B5 Pure Hyaluronic Acid Serum-$39.59. The best investment. Apply before your moisturizer in the morning. And at bedtime too. Skinceuticals CE Ferulic-$182.00. Expensive, but I love it. Apply this before La Roche Posay and wait for 15 minutes before the B5 serum. You will notice a difference in your skin. Oil Of Olay Complete Moisturizer with SPF 15-$12.00. I have used this for years! I love the original scent. Does the job and it's so reasonable. Pacific Glow Baby Booster Serum-$17.43. Add a few drops to your moisturizer. It gives the skin a healthy glow! Tan Luxe The Face-$25.00. Add a drop to your moisturizer and it will give you a pretty illuminating tan. Doesn't look orange or unnatural. Wash your hands after you apply! JEWELRY L'Atelier Nawbar-my newest obsession. I especially love the enamel atoms hoop earrings. From Lebanon. Some of the line is available at Neiman's. Sapir Bachar-The sterling silver necklaces are exquisite. The Union Choker is my favorite! It also comes gold plated. Beautiful! Dana Rebecca-I haven't seen these two bracelets in person, but I like the Ava Bea flexi cuff and the Ava Bea Zig Zag flexi cuff. Will reserve final judgement. CLOTHING Tuckernuck-The Callahan Shirt Dress. $128. Great easy dresses! Jenny Kayne-Cotton Cocoon Cardigan. $395. Cruise Boyfriend Sweater. $295. Pricey, Pretty sweaters. Mansur Gavriel-Rafia pocketbooks for summer. $545-695. Good for the beach vacation. TELEVISION Elsbeth-CBS Thursday at 10 p.m. If you loved Columbo, you will enjoy this! She IS the female Columbo. The Idea of You-Prime on May 2. Starring Anne Hathaway, a 40-year-old woman falls for a 24-year-old in a boy band. Hacks-HBO MAX on May 2. If you haven't watched this series, start from the beginning. Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder are FABULOUS! Unfrosted-Netflix on May 3. Jerry Seinfeld's new movie about Pop-Tarts. Palm Royale-Apple TV. This has gotten rave reviews. I find it annoying! The Girls On The Bus-HBO Max. Four female journalists follow flawed presidential candidates. I think it is very good-Enjoyable and well done. The New Look-Apple TV. The story of Coco Chanel and Christian Dior during World War II. Loved this-"elegant, ambitious, and gorgeous." Shogun-Hulu. Based on the novel. In the year 1600, a Lord fights for his life against his enemies. Mesmerizing, but hard for me to follow. Guilt-PBS. April 28-May 19. Crime series where "every character faces life defining crisis." Thank You, Goodnight: The Bon Jovi Story-Hulu. Documentary about the four decades of the band, Bon Jovi. Interesting! HAPPY SPRING! PEACE OUT-ONE B

LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY

"Love means never having to say you're sorry" is the famous line from Erich Segal's novel, Love Story. In the book/movie, the line infers that if two people love each other enough, then, no matter what transpires in their relationship, there is never a need to apologize. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! I believe apologies are very necessary in a loving relationship, in a friendship, with family members, and at school and at work. However, an apology must be genuine in order for it to be meaningful and effective. But, many times, an apology can seem insincere and as an empty gesture. So, when is saying I'm sorry actually meaningful? If you have hurt someone, either by performing an offensive action or speaking malicious words, you must be truly regretful. You must admit the role you played in inflicting pain. The apology must be heartfelt and contrite, and then you should be forgiven. Often, though, there are times when proclamations are dishonest and you apologize out of selfishness because you don't want to feel guilty anymore. Or you may apologize just to end the dispute-you become tired and bored with the ongoing disagreement and just want to end it! This will appease the person you have offended, but it is just a deceptive tool to prevent further discussion. This is a manipulative tactic because one offers up the words I'm sorry not because they truly think they are wrong, or that the offended person deserves an apology. Rather, they just want to move on, and chances are, they will hurt you again in exactly the same manner. An example of this manipulative tactic follows. Recently, Khymani James, a leader in the Pro-Palestinian movement at Columbia University, was quoted as saying that "Zionists don't deserve to live." After major criticism, he posted a statement on social media saying, "what I said was wrong." He has been banned from Columbia (for the time being or forever-it's not clear). Hours earlier, James refused to apologize for the video in question. His apology was not heartfelt. He refused to admit it was disgusting and unacceptable rhetoric. Rather, He has tried to justify his words, and when asked if he saw his statements as problematic, James responded with "NO". This was not a sincere apology and he is not a remorseful individual. He should not be allowed to matriculate at Columbia, and he should not be forgiven. We are all imperfect people and inevitably we will hurt the ones we love. Alexander Pope said, "To err is human, to forgive divine." We all make mistakes and it is brave to admit them. If you can't be vulnerable and say you are sorry, the offended party's resentment festers. We can only move forward when atonement has been made by the perpetrator, and absolution is made by the wounded person. "LOVE IS HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY EVERY FIVE MINUTES" John Lennon PEACE OUT-ONE B

THE GREATEST HOUDINI OF OUR TIME

It astounds me each day that Donald Trump continues to evade most legal repercussions. Yes, he has been fined for and found liable of sexual assault and impeached twice. But, how is it that that someone who is charged with 88 felony counts still has the support of so many? As we know, he has been nominated as the Republican Party's presidential candidate of 2024. Go figure! He falsified business records, hid classified documents from the FBI; paid hush money to a porn star he had an affair with while his wife was home caring for their newborn; he obstructed justice and incited a riot at the Capitol; he didn't care if his Vice President was murdered during the Capitol takeover and insists the people that killed police and destroyed the Capitol are very nice people; he defied scientific advice during the Covid epidemic and told people to drink bleach or use ultraviolet lights instead of getting vacinnated; he interfered with the election and denies Biden won; and, he readily admits his admiration for Putin, Hitler, and Erdogan. If he is reelected, He threatens revenge on his enemies, and he plans "payback" on day one. There are so many people to blame for his evasive, sneaky, and slimy ability to get away with so much and be punished for so little. First, there was William Barr, the Attorney General from 2019-2020. Barr lied to congress to cover up Trump's corruption. He now admits that Trump's election fraud lies were "total nonsense and bullshit". Too little too late, sir-Barr should be disbarred. Then there was Merrick Garland, who Biden nominated for U.S. Attorney General and who dropped the ball with an extremely slow investigation, all because he didn't want to be perceived as political or controversial. Oh, and how about Cyrus Vance, the Manhattan D.A., who failed to prosecute Ivanka and Donald Jr. for misleading potential buyers of Trump's SoHo building. Kasowitz, the then lawyer for the Trump children paid Vance a visit and donated money to Vance's reelection campaign. Another lawyer who should be disbarred! Let's not forget Rudy Giuliani, the former Mayor of NYC, and buddy to Donald, who has been ordered to pay $148.1 million in damages for spreading horrible lies about Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, the two upstanding, and dedicated election workers from Atlanta. Rudy's right to practice law has been suspended-no final disbarment yet. Finally, how can I not mention the Judges on the Supreme Court, who are dragging their feet on a decision to review the claim that Trump has presidential immunity from Jack Smith's election subversion case? Jack Smith may be the only hope left in successfully prosecuting Trump. Let's face it-Fulton County D.A., Fani Willis doesn't stand a chance in winning the case against the former President for attempting to overturn the 2020 election result. She blew her opportunity because she had an affair with her top special prosecutor, Nathan Wade. All credibility is lost because of her foolishness. She shouldn't be disbarred but she should have her head checked-such a stupid move. The other henchmen that Donald surrounded himself with haven't been quite as lucky as him. Due to their past or current loyalty, he is unscathed. He remains untouchable and I think, even more brazen in his behavior. Many of his associates are willing to cover for him and continue to blatantly lie. The following have either been indicted, convicted or imprisoned: Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, Michael Flynn, Michael Cohen, Steve Bannon, Allen Weisselberg, George Papadopoulous, and even The Trump Organization itself. I can't understand the hold he has over these individuals and why they would risk anything for him-totally bizarre! Their reputations and lives are forever ruined, and to what end? Thankfully, Mike Pence finally came forward and said he will not support Trump in the next election. If only the Republicans in Congress and the Senate would do the same. Even more astonishing, is the support he receives from Pentacostal Christians. He doesn't act like a Christian-he bullies people and name calls, he is twice divorced, he rarely if ever attends Church. Suddenly his fervent religiousness and bible selling schemes appeal to his supporters. His "indictments and transgressions are their indictments and transgressions". They believe he was sent to them to fight for them. He is a victim and they are victims. Trump attains his supporter's passion by "portraying his prosecutions as their persecution" and their victimization. He warns, if they are not careful, they will be next. And finally, there are those who back him, solely due to their love of money. Their theme song is 'First I look at the Purse"! They believe they were better off financially when Trump was in office. But, were they really? While US markets grew under Trump, indices have surged during Biden's term. The S&P is up 40% since Biden took office, U.S. employment is 10% above what it was when Biden was sworn in; his job growth in first three years is faster than any of his four predecessors. People complain about food, gas, and house prices. And, that does play a significant role for people with less income, but wages(especially for the poorer population) are rising and have outpaced inflation. When it comes down to what is really important, where do you stand? Do you want to reinstate Roe Vs. Wade so women once again have the ability to choose? Do you want to maintain our democracy? Do you want to address climate change and saving the environment for our children and grandchildren? Do you want better gun control laws enacted? Do you want someone who continues to advocate for better health care and monitors prescription costs? OR, would you prefer a chaotic, authoritarian govenment? Someone who opposes abortion, opposes most climate change legislation; someone who is suspicious of free trade and alliances with other countries such as Nato? Someone who threatens to pull back on defense commitments to Ukraine? And if reelected, Trump vows to undo all gun restrictions enacted by Biden. So, are more mass shootings your preference? Another four years of Trump? My advice is to heavily invest in pharmaceuticals! All the valium and xanax and ambien in the world won't be enough to keep us calm! Oh, and invest in spray tan and hair dye too....it takes a village to keep Trump ORANGE!! PEACE OUT - ONE B

MY FUNNY VALENTINE

The one gift I have never received, but always yearned for, was a passionate love letter from the love of my life (my husband, of course). I will admit that for our 25th Anniversary, in 2002, he composed a beautiful love poem which is framed and hangs in our den. Although thoughtful and beautiful, it's not a letter that is handwritten professing the hows, the whens, the whys, and the wheres of our romance and love. This would be an object I would cherish above all else-something I could read for the rest of my life. It would be the ultimate gift. Today, I thought it fitting to compose something from my point of view that might capture a small glimpse of our almost 47 years together. Full disclosure-I am not a writer of love letters. I am a stream of consciousness ranter, so it's more of a composition that will reveal the Love story of Debie and Jud. Our eyes first locked on Locust Walk. Your eyes beckoned me. I wanted to meet you. Later, we sat on a bench and talked. Something clicked right then and there-Could it be Magic? I wanted more of you. You lived on the 5th floor and I on the 10th floor. You created some bogus excuse as to why you just happened to show up there. Laundry, I think? On our first date, I took your hand as we crossed the street to enter Winston's. For you, that moment and gesture was grand. On another date, I leaned over to the driver side of your car to unlock your door (no electric locks in the olden days!) That was another special instance in our timeline. Anyone familiar with the 1993 movie, The Bronx Tale, must remember the door test that determines if a girl is a "keeper". Chazz Palminteri explains to a young man that if a girl leans over to unlock the door for her date, she is a keeper. If she doesn't, he says to "dump her!" Mind you-that movie was made in 1993. But, I unlocked the car door in 1974. Way ahead of that movie. Driving home for Thanksgiving vacation, we stopped at The Fortune Cookie and feasted on a Chinese buffet before meeting our respective families. My very pregnant sister met you at the front door in a bright red dress and you were not deterred from the enormity of the moment! Seeing my pregnant sister and meeting my parents in one fell swoop. Not easy. Nor, was it easy meeting your parents. Cindy, your little sister, was and still is a bright moment. You graduated from Penn, summered in Europe with your buddies and I missed you terribly. Your parents took me to the airport to greet you on your return and I was so happy to be back in your arms. You started Law School and I returned to Penn. Each weekend you made the trek to Phila. and spent the weekend with me. You studied most of the weekend. But, your visit wasn't over until we watched Welcome Back Kotter with Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino (up your nose with a rubber hose). We'd kiss goodbye until the next Friday. Missing you, I decided to graduate early in December so that I could be back home nearer to you. We got engaged in front of the Plaza at the fountain. It was a romantic proposal and one of the best days of my life. You presented me with an Eagle Boy Scout ring (I still have it) to hold the place of the diamond that would be forthcoming. We celebrated with drinks at The Plaza and called our parents. Then we headed to Maxwell's Plum where we discussed plans for our future and celebrated into the evening. That restaurant would be a cherished spot where we would often take our girls throughout the years. Sadly, it's now gone. We married at MRCC a year later on June 11, 1977. The most beautiful wedding ever, in a place that holds and still creates so many dear memories for our entire family. We moved into a condo in Little Falls, and it had a painted graphic on the wall; a three foot candy jar always fully stocked; shadows on the carpet that I thought were stains, and a dancing washing machine that had us beckon the neighbors in order to help us balance its legs. On to our first home at 13 (my lucky number) Westminster Drive in Livingston. A house where we had a white (deck painted) bedroom floor, a babbling brook next to our property, and an endless number of the most disgusting spider crickets living among us. Danielle was born (1980) while we lived there, and so was Alexis (1983). They are by far our two best creations! 0H BOY OH BOY OH BOY-IT'S A GIRL! Then on to our 2nd home which was at 36 Highland Ave. in Short Hills. Many happy times through the years were celebrated here. Birthdays, Anniversaries, Thanksgivings, Jewish Holidays, New Year's Eve Parties, Barbecues, and Big Chill Weekends. It was a special home in a special town with special friends, and it was ALWAYS filled love and happiness. There was just one blip in that great house: a pee wee Herman doll that talked on its own at various times of the day or night! Twenty glorious years spent here-the girls gone off to great colleges, graduated, and ready to start their lives. So proud of them and their accomplishments. Now it's time to downsize. Moving on to 164 Dezenzo Lane in West Orange-it's been 20 years here! Can you believe it? The view never gets old here-exquisite views of Manhattan at sunrise, sunset, midday, the nighttime sky line -it's beyond beautiful. Neither of us ever get tired of looking out our windows and seeing a view that makes us so grateful. The magnificent view is a metaphor for my feelings for you. Jud, I feel that exact same way when I glance over at you-I never tire of having you so near, and I am always so grateful for any view of you. It never gets boring-you renew me each and every day. Over the years, as in all families, there has been illness, death, job changes, and difficult times. But knowing your love for me and my infinite love for you has sustained us and let us power through. Mostly though, it's been a fabulous roller coaster ride with you by my side cheering us on. Thrills and Happiness abound... There have been trips to France, Italy, Ireland, Turkey, Greece, Spain, Portugal, England, Mexico, Canada, St. Maarten, Arizona, Bermuda, Florida, California, Louisiana, Tennessee, Rhode Island, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Washington DC, Vermont, Maine, Connecticut, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Illinois, Nevada, Michigan, Texas, Washington State, and Puerto Rico. Hopefully, we will continue to travel to many fun and interesting places where we can create new and happy memories. Anywhere I go with you by my side is a place I want to be. After knowing you for almost 50 years, having 2 fabulous daughters, 2 wonderful son-in-laws, and 5 miraculous grandchildren- all I know for sure, is that I never want this to end. I never expected to have a love so deep, a life so fulfilling, and a partner that is so kind, charming, handsome, intelligent, and giving. I hit the jackpot-I couldn't be richer. I adore you and hope we spend another 40 Valentine's Days celebrating our love. I KNOW YOUR EYES IN THE MORNIN' SUN i FEEL YOU TOUCH ME IN THE POURIN' RAIN AND THE MOMENT THAT YOU WANDER FAR FROM ME I WANNA FEEL YOU IN MY ARMS AGAIN (Barry, Maurice, and Robin Gibb) MY FUNNY VALENTINE SWEET COMIC VALENTINE YOU MAKE ME SMILE WITH MY HEART (Chet Baker) If you haven't told the people in your life, how much they mean to you, Tell Them. You will be giving them the most special gift they will ever receive. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! PEACE OUT-ONE B ,

Prioritizing Self Care

I never make New Year's resolutions. That's my only resolution-not to make any. But, over the last few years, I have experienced a lot more anxiety than I did in my younger years. I'm sure 95% of this anxiety stems from the current political atmosphere, the blatant hate crimes, the constant mass shootings, the ongoing Israeli and Ukraine wars, and frankly, the daily news. As self preservation, the one thing I can try and control is taking care of myself. This involves setting aside time just for me-and only me. In what ways can I achieve this? I can get a facial or a massage; a manicure or pedicure; see a movie or a show; exercise at the gym or go for a long walk; read a book or listen to a podcast. Caring for yourself is an act of survival. If you nourish your body properly, you will become more productive. We all need to relax, decompress, and rest. If you need assistance with an issue or it seems too overwhelming to deal with on your own, don't be afraid to ask for help. And, dont make excuses about not having enough time to exercise. "Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness." [Edward Stanley] When I'm feeling anxious, stressed, or depressed; the first thing I do is turn off the news. If I'm driving, I turn the channel to music which always puts me in a better place. Stop saying YES when what you really want to say is NO! Create boundaries with the people you care about. Friends, family and colleagues will hopefully respect and understand your requests. Be honest and don't lie. Everyone's time and energy is precious, and we must try to prioritize ourselves and honor others in the process.. Ask yourself-will saying yes prevent me from focusing on something more important? Will it make you feel angry, more tired, or burnt out? If so, offer alternatives that may work for both parties. Take some time to consider the consequences of committing to a request or saying yes. I am constantly trying to please others. I get pure joy out of being a good wife, a kind and caring friend, a loving sister, a devoted aunt, and an everpresent, adoring grandmother. It makes me happy to see others happy. It gives me pleasure to help out someone in need. I love to cook for others, buy gifts, entertain, and provide comic relief! But,that should not negate that you can nurture yourself as well. In essence, Save something of you for you. "Self compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves we would give to others." [Christopher K. Germer] PEACE OUT-ONE B