THE LAST VESTIGES OF CHIVALRY

Manners are extremely important. I often observe people and note that many men, women, and children are not respectful of others. This goes back to what we are taught at an early age from our elders. Originally, Chivalry started as a code of honor for Knights at war in the Middle Ages. The combination of qualities expected of an ideal Knight were courage, honor, courtesy, and justice. Later, chivalry was defined as a gallant and a distinguished gentleman. It was the honorable and polite way of behaving by men towards women. Is Chivalry dead today? I can tell you that my Dad and my Father-in-law were consummate gentlemen. I, too, am lucky to have a husband who is the ultimate gentleman not only towards me, but towards all women, and towards all humans regardless of their gender. Some examples of (his) chivalrous actions are: 1) Holding a door open. 2) Always coming around to my side of the car to open the door for me; and when raining, to open the umbrella for me and walking me to my destination. 3) Standing up when a woman approaches a table and not return to sitting position until they leave, or if they insist that he sits down. 4) Pulling out a chair for me at a restaurant and pushing me in. 5) Offering me his jacket when I'm cold. 6) Truthfully, if he had a cape, he would lay it down over a puddle so that I wouldn't ruin my shoes! 7) Helping me put on a coat or jacket, and then helping me to take it off. 8) Going to the front door to pick up a date (when we were dating). But often going to the front door to retrieve our friends for a night out (when we are driving and we go to pick them up.) 9) Always offering his seat on a train, a bus, in the airport, at a doctor's office, or while waiting to in the foyer of a restaurant to be seated at our table. 10) In the movie, the Intern, starring Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway, DeNiro explains to his younger colleagues why he carries a handkerchief. He doesn't use them, but he says "you never know when a women will need one." (My dapper and James Bond-like father- in-law,Jerry, ALWAYS carried a handkerchief!) Some may believe that chivalry is patronizing and based on misogynistic ideas. Why should we praise men for doing the bare mininmum? Nor should Women should not be considered delicate or fragile. Many parents might object to teaching their young sons to practice these chivalrous acts. My response to this is that we should be teaching BOTH our sons and daughters to be generous and helpful at all times. Practice kindness towards everyone: boys, girls men, women, and the elderly-EVERYONE. These acts exhibit common courtesy and decency. In essence, true chivalry is showing respect for others. I might add to this list that there is no need to use technology while socializing. We need to stow away our phones in social situaltions. While dining or chatting with others, there should not be a phone on the table or in your hand. You should focus on, and enjoy the people in front of you. Looking at your phone at these times is just plain rude and insulting. (Of course, there are exceptions: emergencies, baby sitter calls, etc.) Personally, I don't interpret chivalry as sexist. I very much appreciate good manners. Teach your children and grandchildren they can and should offer help to others regardless of gender. In your house, teach gender equality for all chores and for the occupations they can choose later in life. Both sons and daughters can take on domestic labor: do the laundry, fold the laundry, wash dishes, cook, vacuum, reset a fusebox, unclog a drain, change sheets or make a bed. And, children should also be confident in the knowledge that they can be anything they want to be. Most importantly, your children and grandchildren should understand that being a nice person means being respectful and responsive to others needs. DeNiro says in The Intern, "You're never wrong to do the right thing." Joke of the day: How is Coors Light like making love in a canoe? They're both f'---ing close to water. Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend! Happy Birthday Dani and Lily-love you to the moon. PEACE OUT-ONE B