THE LAST VESTIGES OF CHIVALRY

Manners are extremely important. I often observe people and note that many men, women, and children are not respectful of others. This goes back to what we are taught at an early age from our elders. Originally, Chivalry started as a code of honor for Knights at war in the Middle Ages. The combination of qualities expected of an ideal Knight were courage, honor, courtesy, and justice. Later, chivalry was defined as a gallant and a distinguished gentleman. It was the honorable and polite way of behaving by men towards women. Is Chivalry dead today? I can tell you that my Dad and my Father-in-law were consummate gentlemen. I, too, am lucky to have a husband who is the ultimate gentleman not only towards me, but towards all women, and towards all humans regardless of their gender. Some examples of (his) chivalrous actions are: 1) Holding a door open. 2) Always coming around to my side of the car to open the door for me; and when raining, to open the umbrella for me and walking me to my destination. 3) Standing up when a woman approaches a table and not return to sitting position until they leave, or if they insist that he sits down. 4) Pulling out a chair for me at a restaurant and pushing me in. 5) Offering me his jacket when I'm cold. 6) Truthfully, if he had a cape, he would lay it down over a puddle so that I wouldn't ruin my shoes! 7) Helping me put on a coat or jacket, and then helping me to take it off. 8) Going to the front door to pick up a date (when we were dating). But often going to the front door to retrieve our friends for a night out (when we are driving and we go to pick them up.) 9) Always offering his seat on a train, a bus, in the airport, at a doctor's office, or while waiting to in the foyer of a restaurant to be seated at our table. 10) In the movie, the Intern, starring Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway, DeNiro explains to his younger colleagues why he carries a handkerchief. He doesn't use them, but he says "you never know when a women will need one." (My dapper and James Bond-like father- in-law,Jerry, ALWAYS carried a handkerchief!) Some may believe that chivalry is patronizing and based on misogynistic ideas. Why should we praise men for doing the bare mininmum? Nor should Women should not be considered delicate or fragile. Many parents might object to teaching their young sons to practice these chivalrous acts. My response to this is that we should be teaching BOTH our sons and daughters to be generous and helpful at all times. Practice kindness towards everyone: boys, girls men, women, and the elderly-EVERYONE. These acts exhibit common courtesy and decency. In essence, true chivalry is showing respect for others. I might add to this list that there is no need to use technology while socializing. We need to stow away our phones in social situaltions. While dining or chatting with others, there should not be a phone on the table or in your hand. You should focus on, and enjoy the people in front of you. Looking at your phone at these times is just plain rude and insulting. (Of course, there are exceptions: emergencies, baby sitter calls, etc.) Personally, I don't interpret chivalry as sexist. I very much appreciate good manners. Teach your children and grandchildren they can and should offer help to others regardless of gender. In your house, teach gender equality for all chores and for the occupations they can choose later in life. Both sons and daughters can take on domestic labor: do the laundry, fold the laundry, wash dishes, cook, vacuum, reset a fusebox, unclog a drain, change sheets or make a bed. And, children should also be confident in the knowledge that they can be anything they want to be. Most importantly, your children and grandchildren should understand that being a nice person means being respectful and responsive to others needs. DeNiro says in The Intern, "You're never wrong to do the right thing." Joke of the day: How is Coors Light like making love in a canoe? They're both f'---ing close to water. Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend! Happy Birthday Dani and Lily-love you to the moon. PEACE OUT-ONE B

TARGET THE TOXIC AND DEMAND BETTER

I have bit my tongue long enough. WARNING: My Republican friends-STOP reading now. I am about to give you an honest account of the political atmosphere we are witnessing (in the U.S. and in many other countries as well) on a daily basis. I am sure this blog will be offensive to some, and you will adamantly deny my words. So please, do not continue. On July 29, Peter Wehner wrote an insightful opinion piece for the N.Y. Times. Wehner, a Republican, was the former speechwriter for the administrations of three Republican Presidents: Reagan and Both of the Bush's. During those administrations, his party was anti-Russian, against authoritarian leaders, Pro-Nato, Pro-free trade, and liked legal immmigrants. Wehner has dedicated his life to the Republican Party and now feels this party presents the greatest political threat to our country and our democracy. When he worked for those three Presidents, he explains," Morals were an essential trait for political leaders and the President." He warns us that Trump's divisive rhetoric, incessant lies, and lack of morals will be the demise of this nation and the Republican Party for years to come. He further explains that Trump is a "personal political machine" and not a "traditional party political machine." He requires staunch devotion to himself and total loyalty and capitulation to himself. Thus, "he puts loyalty above electability". He uses intimidation, bullying, and coercion to distract from the real issues (which he NEVER discusses). He has successfully tapped into the resentment of millions of voters, but has done nothing to find solutions to their problems. He breeds hate, and instigates his followers to feed off their emotions of anger, their grievances, and vengence. The once Republican Party of "law and order" now adores a man who is a felon, who was found liable for sexual assault, and who promises(if elected President) to pardon the convicted (jailed) band of J6 criminals that attacked the Capitol and the Police. Trump was ahead in every poll last week, but he has sabotaged his lead. If anyone saw the interview with the NABJ (National Association of Black Journalists), you would have been horrified. Trump was agitated, rude, racist, mysoginistic, and disrespectful to a room filled with exceptional journalists. He screamed self-serving lies at the three interviewers; he questioned if Kamala Harris is actually Black and said "we should look into it". Are we back to the playbook which questioned if Obama was born in the U.S. and now, too, he is questioning Harris's race, and if she actually passed the bar, etc.? If only he would discuss his policies and stop the unhinged distractions. I firmly believe he is uninformed in foreign policy, national issues, and women's rights. And, in order NOT to discuss real issues, he just chooses to criticize people at every turn. Watch out J.D. Vance-you may be next because you have offended so many women. Donald Trump is at a total loss on how to defend you. He will discard you, and turn on you, just as he did to his former Vice President, Mike Pence. If offending the Black population the other day wasn't enough-he then started railing on the Jewish community who didn't vote for him in the last two elections. He actually said, " A Jewish American who votes for a Democrat is an absolute fool." No one should be targeted for their beliefs-you can be pro Israel, disagree with Netanyahu, and be a Democrat! Trump also agreed with an interviewer that the second gentleman, Doug Emhoff is a "crappy Jew." This type of dialogue is hateful, antisemitic, and toxic. So, in addition to offending Women who don't have children, he has offended the Black and Jewish communities as well. Keep going Mr. Trump-you have successfully isolated many woman, many Blacks, and many Jews-who will be your next target? America deserves a leader who tells the truth, and who understands our differences are what define us. We deserve the freedom to vote, to be safe from gun violence, to read whatever we want and not to ban books , to love whoever we want to love, and equally important; we deserve the freedom tp choose what we do with our bodies. There is no place in this world for hateful rhetoric. We must Demand Better. Enjoy the rest of the summer! You may need heavy doses of Xanax.... PEACE OUT ONE B