HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES, AND TOES; EYES & EARS & MOUTH & NOSE....

I am a 17-year old trapped in a 68-year old body. I have come to the awful conclusion that my body is betraying me on a daily basis. A new ailment appears each day. I think I may need a full time administrative assistant to deal with the symptoms, the scheduling of doctor appointments, to fight with the insurance company on all the erroneous billing, and to confirm which doctors and procedures and facilities are in network. I spend hours disputing incorrect billing, and attempting to log on to my many patient portals (each having a different password) and being scolded if I call the office to leave a non urgent message rather than, battle with the portal. Let's begin with my head-Well, I still have hair although, it's not as thick as it once was, and the shower drain shows clumps of hair at the end of each shampooing. This I can deal with-no monixidil for me! However, my blood pressure which was stellar before menopause is now alternately very high and very low. I am now on my third try of meds trying to figure out the correct dosage for me. My heart rate barely exists between 51-60, which doesn't seem to bother the doctors. So, if you see me staggering around or fainting, I promise to get it under control. Just hydrate me! On to my shoulders-My left one is pretty good but over the years my right one has been funky. Cortisone has helped and physical therapy helps as well. Years ago, the Dr. said it might be a tear and recently the same Dr. has labeled it arthritis. All I know is that I have regained my range of motion, and I don't presently have pain. Yet, when I reach forward it sounds a bit like paper shredding! Which brings me to my Ears-maybe if my hearing wasn't so good, I could ignore this scary sound! Moving on to my knees (or maybe not moving on too fast)-I don't know where to begin. My right knee locks about 20 times a day. If I try to go from a sitting to standing position, I take a few minutes to maneuver my knee, hear a pop, cringe, and wallah-I am now standing. If I attempt to turn in bed, I have to perform this delicate maneuver to again unlock the knee. I have no pain walking or going up steps, but descending the staircase is more challenging. After years of cortisone and gel shots, I am clearly in need of a knee replacement which will be in the immediate future. Toes-don't even get me started. They are the worst looking things you ever saw. Crooked, overlapping, knarled-it's a freak show. From years of donning beautiful heels, I am now suffering the consequences. I use toe separators, wrap them with lambs wool, insert metatarsal pads and pray. My shoes of choice are sneakers and I wear them 90% of the time. Nice shoes are worn sitting in a restaurant only. Forget fashion on my feet-think Clarks, Easy Spirit, Beezies, and Sketchers. That's my jam. On to my eyes-So far no cataracts and no glasses except for reading. I have suffered from chalazions for many years though. Unlike the majority of people who suffer from time to time with this issue, and solve the problem with hot compresses-this does not work for me. Ultimately, I undego surgical excisions each time and leave the opthamologist's office bleeding out of my eyes. It's quite attractive! I am told the chalazions are caused by stress. Who me? Stressed? Absolutely, I'm stressing about all the ailments!! Mouth-Hmmm...my teeth are crooked, I grind them constantly, and they are not white enough. I have tried whitening which really didn't alter the color significantly. I should wear an apparatus to prevent the grinding but but then I wouldn't get my meager three hours of sleep, so I don't wear it. I should get invisalign but again, I am just not into it. And finally, my nose! So far, so good. I can still smell even after surviving Covid. Hurray! When my Dad and I would chat each day, he would tell me that when he wakes up, lots of things ache but you just have to keep moving. I am in total agreement. I start my day around 5 a.m. and resemble Mr. Magoo as I leave the bed. I am a bit bent over. But, as I begin to walk and bound down the stairs, I begin to stand straiter, walk taller, and I am ready to start the day forgetting all about the aches and pains for just a little while. "What I have learned about aging, despite the creakiness of one's bones and cragginess of one's once silken skin, is this: DO IT. By all means, DO IT." Maya Angelou "Age is not important unless you're a cheese." Helen Hayes "There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age." Sofia Loren HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY! PEACE OUT-ONE B