FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS

My dad would be turning 98 this Sunday. He was smart, kind, funny and very social. His two daughters were his everything. My sister and I adored him, and so did everyone who knew him. I still meet people regularly who tell me what a fabulous dentist he was, and what a great guy he was. When I am at my best, I am my father's daughter. I inherited his curiosity, his enjoyment for meeting people, his love of partying, music and dancing; and his fondness for movies, candy, jewelry, and everything New York City. Unfortunately, I didn't inherit his golf swing! I always had my dad wrapped around my finger. I knew if my mom said no, I could later approach my dad and ultimately he would give in to my request. (A little girl giggles when she is denied ice cream, because she knows daddy will get her some later!) They say "the greatest thing a Father can do for a daughter is to love their Mother" (Elaine S. Dalton). And boy, did my dad love my mom. Theirs was a true love affair for over 70 years. As a first hand witness to their passion, my Dad became the standard against what I looked for in a man and how I judged them. He shaped what I looked for in a relationships in the future, whether platonic or romantic. Fast forward to 1977 when I married the man that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and who I was confident would be the most excellent role model to my future children. In 1980 and 1983, I gave birth to my beautiful DAUGHTERS. To moms; daughters are the most precious of treasures and the objects of our never ending love. They are also the cause of many nights of sleeplessness! Bea Arthur said, "It's not easy being a mother. If it were, fathers would do it!" We are the rule enforcers, the task masters, the planners, the worriers, the healers, the organizers(nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it), and we are their FOREVER FRIEND. I was the "bank where they deposited all their hurts and worries"(Talmage) and I realized that I had fears I never knew existed. I often ponder if my grown daughters really appreciate me and I hope that now that they, too are Moms, they have a true understanding that life and motherhood is complex and doesn't come with a manual-we are all doing the best we can. And, most of all, I hope I taught them that their minds are the most beautiful part of them. A Father shares a very different and special bond with his daughter(s). Any man can be a father but it takes someone very special to be a dad. In the case of my girls, their dad can do no wrong. He walks on water. They continue to humor him and laugh at his silly jokes! And, to a father who is growing older, nothing is dearer than a daughter or her smile. Part of a father's job isn't just to teach his daughter how to be a lady, but to teach her how a lady should be treated. Daughters also learn morals, trust, self worth, self esteem, and empathy from their dads. A loving, gentle father will leave his imprint on his daughter for the rest of her life. My husband continues to be a life mentor, a hero, and a protector to my girls. "He has always provided me a safe place to land and a hard place from which to launch"(Chelsea Clinton about her Dad). His care and protection will continue to be a pillar of strength throughout their lives. What's most interesting is that both my girls chose wonderful husbands who are also exemplary caring, involved and loving fathers, just like their own dad.Parenthood is complicated. Moms and Dads need to be united in their values. You want to connect with and protect your child, but at the same time teach them independence, resilence, morals, manners, and kindness. You want them to grow and prosper and reach great heights in their personal and professional lives. Yet, no matter how old our daughters get, they'll always be our babies who we still want to coddle. It's a delicate balance like walking on a tight rope. "GROWN DON'T MEAN NOTHING TO A MOTHER(FATHER). A CHILD IS A CHILD. THEY JUST GET BIGGER, OLDER, BUT GROWN? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? IN MY HEART IT DON'T MEAN A THING." TONI MORRISON HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY-WE MISS YOU. PEACE OUT-ONE B