Spring Eludes Us and Summer Is Around The Corner

  For those of us who are insomniacs, Summer reruns can cause havoc.  There's absolutely nothing on television Monday through Sunday, so I scramble to watch all the recommendations I get throughout the year. It's a perfect season to binge watch, especially if the rain in the Northeast continues at the rate it has been coming. Occasionally, you might want to turn off the t.v. and read, go out to eat, or catch a movie. I will include those recommendations too.




TELEVISION


Ramy-Hulu. Ramy is the son of an Egyptian immigrant , living in New Jersey and navigating his life in a Muslim Community after 911. I loved this series. Well done.




Shtisel-Netflix.  Ultra Orthodox family in Jerusalem and the trials and tribulations of their daily life.
            Subtitles. Quite good.




The Night Manager-Amazon Prime. Based on John Le Carre's novel. Crime, intrique, sex. All good. Especially Tom Hiddleston, who is extremely easy on the eyes. (shout out to Barbara and Evan for suggesting this!)




Animal Kingdom-TNT. Season 4 begins May 28. Story about a crime family led by the matriarch, Ellen Barkin. I am into it, but not for everyone. A bit like the Sopranos, but less charm.




The Act-Hulu. Season one was based on the true story of a mom and her daughter, who has a barrage of medical issues. Patricia Arquette is super creepy as the mom. Joey King is sensational as her daughter. Beware-not an easy series to watch. Not for the squeamish.




Best Room Wins-Bravo. For all of you that love interior design, this is a fun show. Two designers are selected each week to design a room for their clients. Each week the host, Genevieve Gorder,  different famous designers, and Whitney Robinson, Editor of ELLE Décor, get to judge who designed the better room. It's interesting, educational, and provides a fresh, new twist on boring home shows.



Dead to Me-Netflix. Christina Applegate stars as a recent widow and the woman she befriends at a grief support meeting. Intriguing.




Perpetual Grace-Epix. premiers on June 2. Starring Ben Kingsley. This about a mysterious grifter and a shady Pastor and his wife.




BOOKS


When Breath Becomes Air-by Paul Kalanithi. Idealist young neurosurgeon faced with cancer answers what makes life worth living.




Normal People-by Sally Rooney. Book of the Year. Coming of Age Love Story.


There's A Word For That-by Sloane Tanen. Dysfunctional aging celebrity and her opioid addicted husband deal with familial and societal obligations.


Trust Exercise-by Susan Choi. Supposedly, beautifully written novel that follows three stories of a group of theater students that attended a magnet school in the 80's.


What I Told My Daughter by Nina Tassler. A Collection of stories from highly accomplished women.


A Ladder To The Sky by John Boyne. Story about an author's manipulative path to literary stardom.
(shout out to Laurie)


MOVIES


Wine Country-Netflix. Saturday Night Live famed cast  go on a girl's trip. Cute, Light, and good for a  rainy night at home.


Beach Bum-Matthew McConaughey stars as Moondog. A fun loving druggy trying to finish his great American novel. Horrible (unless you are able to see it on demand) and you may think it's funny if you are stoned.


Yesterday-in theaters on June 28. A much awaited film about the Beatles. Interesting Cast.


Amazing Grace-singer Aretha Franklin Performs gospel at a Baptist Church in L.A. She is beyond fabulous.


Us-Jordan Peele's. Another haunting and scary movie that has you grabbing the person next to you. You have to enjoy this genre! And have a bucket of popcorn...


RESTAURANTS


Mandara-40 Clinton Ave. West Caldwell. Southern Italian.


Fauborg-544 Bloomfield Ave. French, Wine Cellar, Private rooms.  Daniel Boulud alums. Coming soon.


Luna Stella-5 Highland Place Maplewood. Supposedly opening soon. Family Italian and liquor license. Owned by the chef of Lorena's.


Osteria Giotta-Midland Ave. Montclair. Former owner reopening in same location. Delicious Italian. Hopefully, opening soon. BYO.


Allegro-58 Kossuth St. Newark. Seafood, Paella, Music, Outdoor seating when weather permits.


Casa Vasca-141 Elm St. Newark. Delicious Shrimp, and other seafood. Try the garlic shrimp.


Café Espresso Italia-Newark. All the cops come here for lunch.  A local favorite. Get there before noon and order their subs. There's a line out the door. Nothing extraordinary, but fresh and prepared by 3 cute, little, old women.


With Pro Choice and  Roe vs. Wade  being challenged;  tariffs about to make the  prices of our food, appliances, etc. go through the roof;  Boeing lying to the public; another threat of  imminent war with Iran; and North Korea firing short range missiles: WE NEED DISTRACTIONS! So go read, watch television and go out to eat and drink!


To quote lyrics of one of my favorite songs by the New Radicals (who??!)


"But when the night is falling
You cannot find the light
You feel your dreams are dying
HOLD TIGHT


The world is GONNA pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget...."


PEACE OUT-ONE B

LIVE WHILE YOU LIVE MY FRIENDS

     Currently I am dealing with the inevitable misfortune of ailing elderly parents. When not in Florida visiting with them and tending to their immediate needs, I am in New Jersey fielding calls and texts. Each day, all day, it is a barrage of communication from hospice, doctors, aides, case managers, social workers, and my parents. Major issues need attention and mediating from a distance is difficult and ineffective. My mother (who is quite ill in her own right) is presently the healthier spouse. Her only concern is keeping my father alive - it is actually quite selfish, but understandable after almost 72 years of wedded bliss. She denies him sedating medication even though it often helps quiet some of his ailments. What I repeatedly witness day after day is their glimmer of hope that they will get better. She and he are in total denial most of the time and then occasionally there is a fleeting moment of reality that this may actually be the end.  During my many visits there while they sleep 90% of their lives away, I have had too much time to reflect upon life and death. Much of what I am about to say are quotes from the book The Unwinding of A Miracle by Julie Yip-Williams and from an article in The Atlantic by Ezekiel Emanuel. These two people have given me a clearer idea of what the end of life is like for both the parents and their children who sadly witness their decline.
  "We all are obsessed with living a healthy lifestyle all in a valiant effort to cheat death and prolong life." And my parents HAVE cheated death and  lived almost all of their 92 and 95 years enjoying great health, knowing intense love, socializing with many friends, savoring family, travel, and their early retirement in a beautiful warm climate. They have experienced what all of us can only hope for.
But, sadly, the harsh reality is that death awaits us all. Yes, and "death deprives us of experiences and milestones."  My parents are blessed to have achieved  many milestones, and they are no longer having experiences. Observing their current behavior and actions, I have come to understand that it is human nature to put up the good fight; to be eternally hopeful that we will feel better tomorrow, and to never give up. But, for them, at this juncture, it is not realistic.
My parents are no longer " living a vibrant life. They are alive but incapacitated. They are hostages in their own home. Sometimes living too long is also a loss. It renders many of us, if not disabled, then faltering and declining." To me, this is a state that is possibly worse than death.
   
    I believe my parents " have a fear of being small,  of becoming irrelevant and worst of all, being forgotten. That is why they continue to resist death. I also believe that "true inner strength does lie in facing death with peace and serenity. The truth is that death isn't the enemy but simply an inevitable part of life. I know that truth is very difficult for all of us to accept.  But living a life with no quality transforms people. It changes the way people experience us, relate to us, and most of all remember us. I want to look back on my parents with all the happy memories and admiration for their lives well lived. I don't want to resent the constant phone calls. I don't want to feel angry and anxious.  I feel helpless and I must admit, I am having great difficulty navigating this trying and complicated time. We all will go through or have gone through this stage with our parents, It isn't easy to balance my emotions and at the same time keep my parents safe and calm. It is a horrendous time for all of us.


So in the end, I want my parents to realize they have loved and certainly, have been loved. They should  rejoice in the knowledge that they raised successful, kind and happy children. These children have now raised their own amazing, fabulous children. And now, those children are in the midst of their own rich lives and raising their little ones. They should take pleasure and solace in the fact that they had a large part in creating this incredible extended family.


So all my friends out there-LIVE WHILE YOU LIVE because there won't be a u-haul behind your coffin.....