This summer I had the great fortune having my parents visit from Florida for almost a month. One of these weeks My husband and I rented a home in Rhode Island and hosted my parents (mom is almost 87 and Dad is almost 90), my daughters, their husbands, and my 14 month old grandson.
What I came to realize during the summer, was that I was constantly worrying about my parents and my grandson- although they were on the opposite end of the age spectrum. They both had similar needs and wants, and generated like concerns for me.
First and foremost, there are several flights of steps in my home and in the vacation home. I was constantly making sure the baby wouldn't go near the steps and fall down. Each time my parents would go up the steps or come down, I wanted to assist them for fear they would hurt themselves as well. I installed night lights everywhere and provided flashlights and gates so these areas would be well lit and secure for everyone. But that brings me to the "independence" issue. Of course, the 14 month baby thinks he can go anywhere and do anything. He has absolutely no fear. And guess what, so do my parents! They want their independence and fight me every inch of the way. I get it-they are youthful, healthy, and want to live their lives by themselves for as long as they can. Yet, truth be told, their balance is a little different, and they are not as steady on their feet as they once were. As for my grandson, he is not as steady on his feet as he will soon become...
The next issue I encountered was where we could eat where we would be served quickly and how noisy it would be. The very young and old do not exhibit a lot of patience or the ability to sit and dine for an extended period of time. I found myself having a lot of anxiety at mealtimes that were in restaurants. I wanted menus right away, the drink order taken at the same time as the food order, and the check as soon as we were finished. If it was too loud, my Dad could not hear anyone. Yet, that would hide my grandson's funny screeches which was good. Also, my grandson needed food shortly after we sat down and so did my parents! If service was too slow, the meal did not go well. As a result, preparing meals at home were much more relaxing and far easier.
Finally, we had to plan our activities around the baby's nap schedule AND how long my parents could be out before they got worn out. There was a limited amount of time before everyone needed to rest. Trying to coordinate all these issues made me realize that I was caring for my aging parents exactly in the same manner as my little grandson. As our parents age, we, their children, tend to their needs as if they were our children. Funny- they raised us, took great care of us, and allowed us to become independent adults. Now, all these years later, we have the privilege and responsibility of taking care of our parents and grandchildren. The struggle for us is making sure they are all safe and healthy while allowing them to maintain some independence. Not only is this frustrating for me but I understand it is incredibly frustrating for them as well. We all just need to do the best we can and feel blessed they are here to teach us these life lessons.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
A Few of My Favorite Things
As many of you know, jewelry and skin care (products) are a few of my very favorite things to collect.
Currently, I have been using a bunch of items that I swear by and want to share with you.
My major passion and indulgence is microdermabrasion every 8-12 weeks. I prefer the older machines as opposed to the newer versions . The latter, in my opinion, are too gentle and do not achieve results. Microderm is an exfoliating treatment which removes dead skin and generates collagen renewal. I love it best when I turn red and peel. That's when I know it's really doing the job. No botox, fillers, or surgery is necessary. Keep in mind that a proficient aesthetician is key. Remember to do neck and chest as well as your face.
In between these sessions, I use Natura Bisse's glycolic peel in a bottle. You apply this several times a week to maintain healthy skin. It is fabulous, but be prepared to pay for it's effectiveness. $250 dollars! available on line or Neiman's.
Vaseline intensive care has created a new product called spray and go. It comes in 3 types. I like the plain one and use it every morning right after stepping out of the shower. It moisturizes the skin and absorbs fast so you can get dressed seconds after you spray it on your entire body. Just rub in and go like the commercial says. It is the first time I don't feel like moisturizing your body is a chore.
Next are the facial treatments: First I start with La Roche-Posay Derm AOX Vitamin C Serum. Then I use Roc's 2 step Day activating serum and then the Day rejuvenating crème which has an spf of 20. . They also make an eye treatment that I apply called the Roc Complete lift contouring eye roller. I received these items as a gift and think they are great. There is only one eye concealer for me: Sonia Kashluk's eye concealer palette available at Target-it is quite simply the best out there with 3 different colors of cream and one base powder.
When I finally get around to applying my primer or base, I start with Chanel's Le Blanc/color 10 Rosee . This is a light revealing brightening makeup base with a broad spectrum spf of 30. And the foundation I finally apply is Chanel's Vitalumiere Aqua, which is an ultralight skin perfecting sunscreen makeup. This also has an spf of 15. Sunscreen in summer, winter, spring and fall is extremely necessary-even on a dark cloudy day.
Later in the day or early evening, when I need to refresh my makeup, I rarely reapply foundation. Rather I use Colorscience illuminating serum in champagne kiss. This gives a great dewy look and achieves a well rested appearance
For eyes, I am loving Anastasia Eye Shadow Palette#1 or Laura Mercier's combo of 10 shadows, 2 blushes, 1 shimmer and 3 powder liners complete with 3 brushes. It's the bomb. In the mascara category, I like Loreal's Telescopic explosion in carbon black. And the liners I adore are by Buxom or eyeko'.
At night, reach for any retin a product and mix with your favorite moisturizer. Presently, I am using PCA intensive age refining treatment which is 0.5 % pure retinol night cream. I also like Strivectin-SD for face and around eyes or Prevage as intermittent options in between the retin a.
The true key to nice skin is genetic, along with lots of care and no sun exposure ever...And finally, change your regime and products often. I use different products all the time. I feel your skin looks better when you don't use the same regime day in and day out. And do not forget to moisturize your hands, and neck, and chest. Start in your 20's-it makes a difference and you will look younger if your hands and neck don't reveal your true age.
Currently, I have been using a bunch of items that I swear by and want to share with you.
My major passion and indulgence is microdermabrasion every 8-12 weeks. I prefer the older machines as opposed to the newer versions . The latter, in my opinion, are too gentle and do not achieve results. Microderm is an exfoliating treatment which removes dead skin and generates collagen renewal. I love it best when I turn red and peel. That's when I know it's really doing the job. No botox, fillers, or surgery is necessary. Keep in mind that a proficient aesthetician is key. Remember to do neck and chest as well as your face.
In between these sessions, I use Natura Bisse's glycolic peel in a bottle. You apply this several times a week to maintain healthy skin. It is fabulous, but be prepared to pay for it's effectiveness. $250 dollars! available on line or Neiman's.
Vaseline intensive care has created a new product called spray and go. It comes in 3 types. I like the plain one and use it every morning right after stepping out of the shower. It moisturizes the skin and absorbs fast so you can get dressed seconds after you spray it on your entire body. Just rub in and go like the commercial says. It is the first time I don't feel like moisturizing your body is a chore.
Next are the facial treatments: First I start with La Roche-Posay Derm AOX Vitamin C Serum. Then I use Roc's 2 step Day activating serum and then the Day rejuvenating crème which has an spf of 20. . They also make an eye treatment that I apply called the Roc Complete lift contouring eye roller. I received these items as a gift and think they are great. There is only one eye concealer for me: Sonia Kashluk's eye concealer palette available at Target-it is quite simply the best out there with 3 different colors of cream and one base powder.
When I finally get around to applying my primer or base, I start with Chanel's Le Blanc/color 10 Rosee . This is a light revealing brightening makeup base with a broad spectrum spf of 30. And the foundation I finally apply is Chanel's Vitalumiere Aqua, which is an ultralight skin perfecting sunscreen makeup. This also has an spf of 15. Sunscreen in summer, winter, spring and fall is extremely necessary-even on a dark cloudy day.
Later in the day or early evening, when I need to refresh my makeup, I rarely reapply foundation. Rather I use Colorscience illuminating serum in champagne kiss. This gives a great dewy look and achieves a well rested appearance
For eyes, I am loving Anastasia Eye Shadow Palette#1 or Laura Mercier's combo of 10 shadows, 2 blushes, 1 shimmer and 3 powder liners complete with 3 brushes. It's the bomb. In the mascara category, I like Loreal's Telescopic explosion in carbon black. And the liners I adore are by Buxom or eyeko'.
At night, reach for any retin a product and mix with your favorite moisturizer. Presently, I am using PCA intensive age refining treatment which is 0.5 % pure retinol night cream. I also like Strivectin-SD for face and around eyes or Prevage as intermittent options in between the retin a.
The true key to nice skin is genetic, along with lots of care and no sun exposure ever...And finally, change your regime and products often. I use different products all the time. I feel your skin looks better when you don't use the same regime day in and day out. And do not forget to moisturize your hands, and neck, and chest. Start in your 20's-it makes a difference and you will look younger if your hands and neck don't reveal your true age.
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