Ode to My Husband

   Tomorrow my husband and I will celebrate our 35th Wedding Anniversary. If you had consulted with my mother-in-law, she would have told you it would never last. In fact, she hoped it wouldn't last. But in spite of that, we have enjoyed being together for 38 years. Last night we had the priviledge of enjoying this celebration with our daughters and our sons in laws. The children asked if we could impart any sage advice on how to make a marriage work. So, after a few drinks, I am not exactly sure if I mentioned all of the following, so at the risk of repeating myself, here goes.

1. Always hear your spouse out-REALLY LISTEN. Don't be dismissive of their feelings. If someone is feeling sad, happy, angry, scared and they need to tell you or blame you, you need to hear what they are saying and try and find a solution. Empathize-Do not mock or be sarcastic.
2. Be playful, active, always willing to try something new with each other. This could be on a trip, on a night out, with friends, or in your home. It doesn't matter. Even if you don't have the same interests, respect what each of you enjoy and allow each other to experience those pleasures. Explore, have adventures, and don't get into a rut.  Everyday can't be a holiday, but you can  keep it fun alot of the time.
3. The 3 things you will continually argue about: MONEY, YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR     RELATIVES. This will never end-EVER.  So figure out that sometimes the two of you have to agree to disagree.  Acknowledge to each other that your children, in laws, parents, or siblings can be annoying, or selfish, or demanding, or wrong. This doesn't mean that they aren't good, loving, wonderful people. Everyone will deal with this. You both must be willing to recognize that people aren't at their best at all times. Admit it. Don't Defend it.
4. Don't evade the issues. Communicate. Don't run. Work it out.
5. Be thoughtful. Buy each other a gift even when it's not an occasion. Leave a nice note. Cook for each other.
6. Do the dishes for each other. Fold the Laundry and put it away. Vacuum or clean out your       spouse's car, closet, etc.  Put your spouse first - always....
7. Hold hands. Kiss. Touch. You can never do this enough.
8. Finally, you have to like each other. Respect each other. Be supportive, laugh, encourage         your partner to do better, to excel. Be proud of your spouse.

 To my husband-I adore you. You are the love of my life, the light of my life, the person who keeps me standing, and who makes me ready to face each day with a smile.  I know you have my back forever and always. And I have yours. So here's to another 35 years of blissful marriage filled with lots of love,  fun adventures,  many laughs and infinite health! xo, Deb