TURNING 70 ON THE WEEKEND OF TESHUVAH

In several weeks I will be having a major birthday. I can't believe the actual number-it is daunting! As it turns out, my birthday falls on the weekend of Yom Kippur, a time when we ask for forgiveness, atone for our sins, and ask to be written in the Book of Life. Rather than hyper focussing on the number I will shortly become, I started to examine some of the Al Chet prayers (44 of them) that we repeat many times throughout Yom Kippur services. My birthday should be a time of reflection, just as Yom Kippur is a time of reflection. Full disclosure, I am not a very religious person. I grew up in Westfield and attended the reformed Temple Emanuel led by the renowned Rabbi Kroloff. Rabbi Kroloff Bat Mitzvahed me and also married Jud and me. Yet, eventhough I am not religious, I fully embrace my Judaism. This milestone Birthday forces me to acknowledge that we do not live forever. We all must struggle to right our wrongs now, and apologize to those we have hurt. All of us seek to be forgiven-everyone is imperfect. We all make mistakes at one time or another. Part of being human is making mistakes and learning from them. And, then, learning to forgive ourselves while striving to do better. When one begins to look at the task of Teshuvah(repenting),it can be overwhelming. I want to examine just a few of the Al Chet prayers during this time of reflection. "For mistakes we have committed against you by having a hard heart." We can ask ourselves was I kind, compassionate, and loving when my family and friends needed me? "For mistakes we committed without thinking or without knowledge." Do I carefully examine my surroundings and weigh what is right and wrong? Here the question of how do we deal with people who hold differing views from our own? This is especially relevant regarding the deep polarization and negativity of political parties in the last decade. We might react to an opinion we encounter either in conversation or in the media and think, how can any reasonable human actually believe something like that? We must try and temper our judgement and not admonish those for having a different view than our own. Maybe, just maybe, we can have a civil discussion to understand one another's reasons for their thoughts. "For mistakes we committed before you through things we blurted out with our lips." Do I think before I speak? Do I gossip, or engage in idle chatter or foolish speech? Do I elevate others with encouraging words? "For mistakes committed before you by degrading parents and teachers? Do(Did) I sometimes act disrepectfully to my parents? Do(Did) I recognize and appreciate how much my parents have done for me? Am I respectful of my teachers, and grateful for their knowledge and help? Do I give enough special attention to the needs of the elderly and empathize with their frustration in the aging process? "For mistakes committed before you by throwing off the yoke, which means refusing to accept responsibility." Am I reliable and dependable? Have I accepted family responsibilities and gladly assisted whenever needed? Have I said I am sorry for my actions? Birthdays and Yom Kippur force us to think about our journey through life, our past actions, and to always cherish our friends and family while also staying true to ourselves. It is a time to search our hearts once again and to banish anything that is displeasing. To DO BETTER and to BE BETTER. There is always room for improvement, no matter how old we are. Wishing all of you a Happy and Healthy New Year. PEACE OUT - ONE B

THE LAST VESTIGES OF CHIVALRY

Manners are extremely important. I often observe people and note that many men, women, and children are not respectful of others. This goes back to what we are taught at an early age from our elders. Originally, Chivalry started as a code of honor for Knights at war in the Middle Ages. The combination of qualities expected of an ideal Knight were courage, honor, courtesy, and justice. Later, chivalry was defined as a gallant and a distinguished gentleman. It was the honorable and polite way of behaving by men towards women. Is Chivalry dead today? I can tell you that my Dad and my Father-in-law were consummate gentlemen. I, too, am lucky to have a husband who is the ultimate gentleman not only towards me, but towards all women, and towards all humans regardless of their gender. Some examples of (his) chivalrous actions are: 1) Holding a door open. 2) Always coming around to my side of the car to open the door for me; and when raining, to open the umbrella for me and walking me to my destination. 3) Standing up when a woman approaches a table and not return to sitting position until they leave, or if they insist that he sits down. 4) Pulling out a chair for me at a restaurant and pushing me in. 5) Offering me his jacket when I'm cold. 6) Truthfully, if he had a cape, he would lay it down over a puddle so that I wouldn't ruin my shoes! 7) Helping me put on a coat or jacket, and then helping me to take it off. 8) Going to the front door to pick up a date (when we were dating). But often going to the front door to retrieve our friends for a night out (when we are driving and we go to pick them up.) 9) Always offering his seat on a train, a bus, in the airport, at a doctor's office, or while waiting to in the foyer of a restaurant to be seated at our table. 10) In the movie, the Intern, starring Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway, DeNiro explains to his younger colleagues why he carries a handkerchief. He doesn't use them, but he says "you never know when a women will need one." (My dapper and James Bond-like father- in-law,Jerry, ALWAYS carried a handkerchief!) Some may believe that chivalry is patronizing and based on misogynistic ideas. Why should we praise men for doing the bare mininmum? Nor should Women should not be considered delicate or fragile. Many parents might object to teaching their young sons to practice these chivalrous acts. My response to this is that we should be teaching BOTH our sons and daughters to be generous and helpful at all times. Practice kindness towards everyone: boys, girls men, women, and the elderly-EVERYONE. These acts exhibit common courtesy and decency. In essence, true chivalry is showing respect for others. I might add to this list that there is no need to use technology while socializing. We need to stow away our phones in social situaltions. While dining or chatting with others, there should not be a phone on the table or in your hand. You should focus on, and enjoy the people in front of you. Looking at your phone at these times is just plain rude and insulting. (Of course, there are exceptions: emergencies, baby sitter calls, etc.) Personally, I don't interpret chivalry as sexist. I very much appreciate good manners. Teach your children and grandchildren they can and should offer help to others regardless of gender. In your house, teach gender equality for all chores and for the occupations they can choose later in life. Both sons and daughters can take on domestic labor: do the laundry, fold the laundry, wash dishes, cook, vacuum, reset a fusebox, unclog a drain, change sheets or make a bed. And, children should also be confident in the knowledge that they can be anything they want to be. Most importantly, your children and grandchildren should understand that being a nice person means being respectful and responsive to others needs. DeNiro says in The Intern, "You're never wrong to do the right thing." Joke of the day: How is Coors Light like making love in a canoe? They're both f'---ing close to water. Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend! Happy Birthday Dani and Lily-love you to the moon. PEACE OUT-ONE B

TARGET THE TOXIC AND DEMAND BETTER

I have bit my tongue long enough. WARNING: My Republican friends-STOP reading now. I am about to give you an honest account of the political atmosphere we are witnessing (in the U.S. and in many other countries as well) on a daily basis. I am sure this blog will be offensive to some, and you will adamantly deny my words. So please, do not continue. On July 29, Peter Wehner wrote an insightful opinion piece for the N.Y. Times. Wehner, a Republican, was the former speechwriter for the administrations of three Republican Presidents: Reagan and Both of the Bush's. During those administrations, his party was anti-Russian, against authoritarian leaders, Pro-Nato, Pro-free trade, and liked legal immmigrants. Wehner has dedicated his life to the Republican Party and now feels this party presents the greatest political threat to our country and our democracy. When he worked for those three Presidents, he explains," Morals were an essential trait for political leaders and the President." He warns us that Trump's divisive rhetoric, incessant lies, and lack of morals will be the demise of this nation and the Republican Party for years to come. He further explains that Trump is a "personal political machine" and not a "traditional party political machine." He requires staunch devotion to himself and total loyalty and capitulation to himself. Thus, "he puts loyalty above electability". He uses intimidation, bullying, and coercion to distract from the real issues (which he NEVER discusses). He has successfully tapped into the resentment of millions of voters, but has done nothing to find solutions to their problems. He breeds hate, and instigates his followers to feed off their emotions of anger, their grievances, and vengence. The once Republican Party of "law and order" now adores a man who is a felon, who was found liable for sexual assault, and who promises(if elected President) to pardon the convicted (jailed) band of J6 criminals that attacked the Capitol and the Police. Trump was ahead in every poll last week, but he has sabotaged his lead. If anyone saw the interview with the NABJ (National Association of Black Journalists), you would have been horrified. Trump was agitated, rude, racist, mysoginistic, and disrespectful to a room filled with exceptional journalists. He screamed self-serving lies at the three interviewers; he questioned if Kamala Harris is actually Black and said "we should look into it". Are we back to the playbook which questioned if Obama was born in the U.S. and now, too, he is questioning Harris's race, and if she actually passed the bar, etc.? If only he would discuss his policies and stop the unhinged distractions. I firmly believe he is uninformed in foreign policy, national issues, and women's rights. And, in order NOT to discuss real issues, he just chooses to criticize people at every turn. Watch out J.D. Vance-you may be next because you have offended so many women. Donald Trump is at a total loss on how to defend you. He will discard you, and turn on you, just as he did to his former Vice President, Mike Pence. If offending the Black population the other day wasn't enough-he then started railing on the Jewish community who didn't vote for him in the last two elections. He actually said, " A Jewish American who votes for a Democrat is an absolute fool." No one should be targeted for their beliefs-you can be pro Israel, disagree with Netanyahu, and be a Democrat! Trump also agreed with an interviewer that the second gentleman, Doug Emhoff is a "crappy Jew." This type of dialogue is hateful, antisemitic, and toxic. So, in addition to offending Women who don't have children, he has offended the Black and Jewish communities as well. Keep going Mr. Trump-you have successfully isolated many woman, many Blacks, and many Jews-who will be your next target? America deserves a leader who tells the truth, and who understands our differences are what define us. We deserve the freedom to vote, to be safe from gun violence, to read whatever we want and not to ban books , to love whoever we want to love, and equally important; we deserve the freedom tp choose what we do with our bodies. There is no place in this world for hateful rhetoric. We must Demand Better. Enjoy the rest of the summer! You may need heavy doses of Xanax.... PEACE OUT ONE B

DIVERSIONS AND DISTRACTIONS

If there was ever a time in our lives when we could use a diversion, it is RIGHT NOW! Neither candidate has the mental acuity to lead our country. Can we all admit and accept that Biden and Trump do not have the ability to reason, focus, or recall information at optimum speed? Enough said! So, I have comprised a list to keep us sane through all this insanity. Let's start with a list of restaurants I want to try in New York and in New Jersey. I have not had a meal at any of these, so I cannot vouch for the cuisine. Alice Restaurant-126 W. 13th Street. It's an Italian seafood and lobster bar located in the basement of a historical brownstone. Blue Willow-40 W. 56th Street. Refined Asian serving dim sum, noodles, cool cocktails. Cathedrale-112 E. 11th street. Dramatic dining room serving French-Mediterranean food. Frenchette-241 West Broadway. French bistro open for breakfast, brunch, lunch, and dinner. Meduza Mediterrania-657 Hudson Street. Varied Mediterranean options-looks great! The Milling Room-446 Columbus Ave. Lovely space serving American fare. There's a tavern/pub also. Montes-97 Macdougal Street. Old World Italian. Neighborhood restaurant that's been there forever. Grumpy waiters and great for families! Osteria 57-57 West 10th. Serving pastas and fish for dinner. Also serves brunch. In the heart of Greenwich Village. San Sabino-113 Greenwich Ave. West Village Italian Seafood by chefs from Don Angie. Tough to get a res. Semma-60 Greenwich Ave. Southern Indian food getting accolades. Third Kingdom-21 E. 7th Street. Vegan and the focus is on mushrooms! DRINKS And SNACKS Le Rock-45 Rockefeller Plaza. Not worth going for dinner, but a fun place to stop in for a drink if you're near Rockefeller Center. Upscale vibe. Delmonico-56 Beaver Street. Always great Steak, but the bar has amazing drinks and you can eat at the Bar. John Georges Tin Building-96 South Street. Amazing food court concept with many Restaurants, Bars, and shopping. Stop in for a nibble and a drink! Bonito By The River-190 River Road Edgewater.Spanish, Greek, and Italian falavors. Great cocktails and outdoor dining. Cantina 46-88 U.S.46, Ridgefield, NJ. Drinks, Mexican Food, Steaks, Fun. Tommy's Tavern and Tap House-823 NJ3 Clifton. This is a chain that I am very interested in trying. Comfort Food, Cocktails, and TV! WHAT'S ON MY READING LIST? All The Colors of Dark-By Chris Whitaker. Story about a pirate, serial killer, beekeeper, etc. I'm reading it now and like it! Remarkably Bright Creatures-By Shelby Van Pelt. I already read this! LOVED-so charming. You'll laugh out loud and smile till the end. Martyr!-By Kaveh Akbar. Addiction, guilt, grief, martyrdom are some of the themes. Bear: A Novel-By Julia Phillips. A story about sisterhood and also the mystery of animals that live among us. Night Watch-By Jayne Anne Phillips. Winner of the Pulitzer for Fiction 2024. Mother Daughter Story set during the Civil War. The Friday Afternoon Club-By Griffin Dunne. The son of Dominick and the brother of Dominique writes a compelling memoir. GREAT REVIEWS. Absolution-By Alice McDermott. Two American women try to help the people of Saigon. A Calamity of Souls-By David Baldacci. A racially charged murder case in Southern Virginia in the year 1968. Yellowface-By R.F. Kuang. Juniper Song didn't write the book she claims she did, and she's not really Asian American! Sounds interesting. TELEVISION-YOU KNOW I DON'T SLEEP SO I'VE SEEN MOST OF THESE! THE BEAR- HULU.One of the best written shows ever. Young chef in Chicago. EILEEN-HULU. Anne Hathaway. Thriller/mystery. THE IDEA OF YOU-PRIME. Anne Hathaway. Romance/Comedy. LITTLE STEVEN-HBO MAX. Documentary about Stevie Van Zandt. DIANNE VON FURSTENBERG:WOMAN IN CHARGE. HULU. Documentary on Dianne Von Furstenberg. I AM: CELINE DION. PRIME. Documentary on Celine Dion and her current health. FANCY DANCE-APPLE. Lily Gladstone (from Killers of the Flower Moon) is the star. A FAMILY AFFAIR-NETFLIX. Nicole Kidman, Zac Ephron, and Joey King star in this movie. DIVORCE IN THE BLACK-PRIME. Tyler Perry's newest flick released today! AND LADIES IF YOU WANT TO TRY OUT SOME NEW MAKEUP: Try Augustinus Bader -The Rich Cream. 15ml is $96 buckaroos-it's not cheap! And my newest obsession is: Il Makiage Power Lift Anti-Aging Collage-Boost Priming and Plumping Cream $66.00 Il Makiage Woke Up Like This Flawless Base Foundation. $45.00 Nemat Amber Fragrance Oil Or Nemat Egyptian Musk Fragrance Oil $17.00 at Ulta. So slather on the Bader moisturizer, apply the Il Makiage primer, and then the luscious foundation. (Buy the foundation blending brush for $45.00). Then, Dab your wrists with Amber fragrance and go out to one of those fabulous NYC restaurants. And, whatever you do, DON'T turn on the news!! STAY COOL! PEACE OUT-ONE B

ENDINGS CAN BE NEW BEGINNINGS

Recently, I've been feeling blue. I guess it all began when I was watching my two youngest grandchildren (boys) graduating from their respective nursery school programs. They are now on their way to kindergarten in the fall. Then, we celebrated my eldest grandson's twelfth birthday, right before he and his (almost) ten year old brother departed for sleep away camp. The grandchildren who are too young to attend sleep away now leave the house at 8 a.m and return at 5 p.m. All good things, right? Especially, for the parents who get a bit of a break for the next several weeks. It makes me a little sad though-I miss them! I recall when each of these kids started Nursery and were hanging onto their parents and shedding a tear. Or, was that their parents who were crying?! In fact, I remember leaving my mom for kindergarten and how clingy I was; and of course I remember my two little daughters doing the same. There were plenty of tears and worries coming from both the children and the parents. But, as we all know, by the end of Nursery school, the kids are proud and happy and excited to move on. I am reminded as I age, that we don't have forever. Change is constant-nothing stays the same. Our children grow up, go to school, go to college, move out, get jobs, and often have their own families. Letting go is hard-it all goes by so quickly! Rabbi Leder, former Senior Rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in L.A. says, " that all of life involves separation; every departure is an arrival; and finally, that endings can also bring new beginnings." All of this is so true, but sometimes it's hard to let go and allow your loved ones to move on. We all love the comfortable and familiar, but we must be able to continue to grow. However, it's a bit of a conundrum. If you are lucky enough to have your health, and have your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, and your parents around; it can be hard to create the proper balance. One needs to focus on what stage of life you are in now, and examine what you priorities should be. If you care about someone, tell them and show them. Don't push it to the backburner for another day. My parents are no longer alive, and often my thoughts haunt me. Was I a loving daughter? Did I do enough for them while they were here? Did they feel loved and appreciated? Could I have done more? But, thankfully, my husband, children, and grandchildren ARE here! So I try to find the balance of giving them space and showing them how much I cherish them. How can you show your love? Keep in mind it's different for each relationship. Different strokes for different folks. And for my children and grandchildren, the same issues plague me-do I do enough? Do I show them how much I love them? Do they appreciate me as much as I do them? How can we show the ones we love how much we care? Some Acts of Love I think are crucial: 1) Words of Affirmation 2)Spending Quality Time (put your phones away-focus on one another) 3)Acts of service(do the laundry, shop for groceries, clean a room, drive a carpool, babysit, take the garbage out, do the dishes, run errands, check in on them) 4)Grand Gestures-treat them to something special: a nice meal, a special few hours together, a great trip, a piece of jewelry or art, a sporting event or concert) and 5) Physical Touch. Don't wait! "SHOWER THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE WITH LOVE, SHOW THEM THE WAY YOU FEEL, THINGS ARE GONNA WORK OUT FINE, IF YOU ONLY WILL." (JAMES TAYLOR) Remember, the quote from my favorite movie: "LIFE MOVES PRETTY FAST. IF YOU DON'T STOP AND LOOK AROUND ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU COULD MISS IT." (FERRIS BUELLER) Enjoy the summer! PEACE OUT-ONE B

WELCOME SPRING 2024

Around this time each year, I like to give some tips for you to try. FOOD Free Fries Friday-For the rest of 2024, Wendy's will give out free fries with a purchase. Just download their app and the offer is there! Highlawn Pavillion Bar (West Orange, NJ)-Instead of eating in their dining room, opt for dinner at the bar or at a high top. There's often music, and the menu is reasonable. It's fun and happening! Jimmy's Family Kitchen (Verona, NJ formerly Miele's)-The salads, shrimp beeps, and chicken savoy remain. The menu is much more limited but also kid friendly. The owners are lovely and the service is far better than Miele's! Licorice.com-If you are a licorice lover, this is a great site! The red and white aussies are the best! Funky Chunky-If you are a popcorn lover, try this. All flavors are delicious: peanut butter cup, chocolate pretzel, sea salt caramel, etc. Gioia Mia-(Montclair, NJ-formerly Fascino)-Upscale Italian. I haven't tried this yet, but it's on my list! Belgiovine's Italian Deli-(Montclair)-A favorite in Montclair with amazing sandwiches. BOOKS Table For Two-Amor Towles. The writing is extraordinary. I liked his short stories more than the novella. Worth the read! My Name is Barbra-Barbra Streisand. It goes on forever and you should listen to it rather than read it. However, if you are a food lover she describes every memorable meal, snack, dessert, and sandwich with intricate detail-it's hilarious. New York Magazine wrote an article about her love of food! After Annie-Anna Quindlen. It's been a while since Quindlen wrote a novel. I am in the middle of this book, which is about how a family and a best friend cope after a major loss. Also worth a look! COSMETICS (MY FAVORITE TOPIC!) Trish Mcevoy's Instant Eye Lift-$46.00. Blends flawlessly under the eye and doesn't feel heavy, or cause crease lines on aging skin. Anastasia's Beverly Hills Brow Definer-$26.00. The pencil is cut on a slant and there is a blending brush at the other end. One of the best brow pencils. Dazzle Dry Four Step Nail System-$72.00 for the system. $22.00 for the polish. This is the best polish! No need for gels ever again. This lasts for two weeks! The colors are limited though. La Roche Posay B5 Pure Hyaluronic Acid Serum-$39.59. The best investment. Apply before your moisturizer in the morning. And at bedtime too. Skinceuticals CE Ferulic-$182.00. Expensive, but I love it. Apply this before La Roche Posay and wait for 15 minutes before the B5 serum. You will notice a difference in your skin. Oil Of Olay Complete Moisturizer with SPF 15-$12.00. I have used this for years! I love the original scent. Does the job and it's so reasonable. Pacific Glow Baby Booster Serum-$17.43. Add a few drops to your moisturizer. It gives the skin a healthy glow! Tan Luxe The Face-$25.00. Add a drop to your moisturizer and it will give you a pretty illuminating tan. Doesn't look orange or unnatural. Wash your hands after you apply! JEWELRY L'Atelier Nawbar-my newest obsession. I especially love the enamel atoms hoop earrings. From Lebanon. Some of the line is available at Neiman's. Sapir Bachar-The sterling silver necklaces are exquisite. The Union Choker is my favorite! It also comes gold plated. Beautiful! Dana Rebecca-I haven't seen these two bracelets in person, but I like the Ava Bea flexi cuff and the Ava Bea Zig Zag flexi cuff. Will reserve final judgement. CLOTHING Tuckernuck-The Callahan Shirt Dress. $128. Great easy dresses! Jenny Kayne-Cotton Cocoon Cardigan. $395. Cruise Boyfriend Sweater. $295. Pricey, Pretty sweaters. Mansur Gavriel-Rafia pocketbooks for summer. $545-695. Good for the beach vacation. TELEVISION Elsbeth-CBS Thursday at 10 p.m. If you loved Columbo, you will enjoy this! She IS the female Columbo. The Idea of You-Prime on May 2. Starring Anne Hathaway, a 40-year-old woman falls for a 24-year-old in a boy band. Hacks-HBO MAX on May 2. If you haven't watched this series, start from the beginning. Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder are FABULOUS! Unfrosted-Netflix on May 3. Jerry Seinfeld's new movie about Pop-Tarts. Palm Royale-Apple TV. This has gotten rave reviews. I find it annoying! The Girls On The Bus-HBO Max. Four female journalists follow flawed presidential candidates. I think it is very good-Enjoyable and well done. The New Look-Apple TV. The story of Coco Chanel and Christian Dior during World War II. Loved this-"elegant, ambitious, and gorgeous." Shogun-Hulu. Based on the novel. In the year 1600, a Lord fights for his life against his enemies. Mesmerizing, but hard for me to follow. Guilt-PBS. April 28-May 19. Crime series where "every character faces life defining crisis." Thank You, Goodnight: The Bon Jovi Story-Hulu. Documentary about the four decades of the band, Bon Jovi. Interesting! HAPPY SPRING! PEACE OUT-ONE B

LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY

"Love means never having to say you're sorry" is the famous line from Erich Segal's novel, Love Story. In the book/movie, the line infers that if two people love each other enough, then, no matter what transpires in their relationship, there is never a need to apologize. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! I believe apologies are very necessary in a loving relationship, in a friendship, with family members, and at school and at work. However, an apology must be genuine in order for it to be meaningful and effective. But, many times, an apology can seem insincere and as an empty gesture. So, when is saying I'm sorry actually meaningful? If you have hurt someone, either by performing an offensive action or speaking malicious words, you must be truly regretful. You must admit the role you played in inflicting pain. The apology must be heartfelt and contrite, and then you should be forgiven. Often, though, there are times when proclamations are dishonest and you apologize out of selfishness because you don't want to feel guilty anymore. Or you may apologize just to end the dispute-you become tired and bored with the ongoing disagreement and just want to end it! This will appease the person you have offended, but it is just a deceptive tool to prevent further discussion. This is a manipulative tactic because one offers up the words I'm sorry not because they truly think they are wrong, or that the offended person deserves an apology. Rather, they just want to move on, and chances are, they will hurt you again in exactly the same manner. An example of this manipulative tactic follows. Recently, Khymani James, a leader in the Pro-Palestinian movement at Columbia University, was quoted as saying that "Zionists don't deserve to live." After major criticism, he posted a statement on social media saying, "what I said was wrong." He has been banned from Columbia (for the time being or forever-it's not clear). Hours earlier, James refused to apologize for the video in question. His apology was not heartfelt. He refused to admit it was disgusting and unacceptable rhetoric. Rather, He has tried to justify his words, and when asked if he saw his statements as problematic, James responded with "NO". This was not a sincere apology and he is not a remorseful individual. He should not be allowed to matriculate at Columbia, and he should not be forgiven. We are all imperfect people and inevitably we will hurt the ones we love. Alexander Pope said, "To err is human, to forgive divine." We all make mistakes and it is brave to admit them. If you can't be vulnerable and say you are sorry, the offended party's resentment festers. We can only move forward when atonement has been made by the perpetrator, and absolution is made by the wounded person. "LOVE IS HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY EVERY FIVE MINUTES" John Lennon PEACE OUT-ONE B