"Who Am I, and where have I been, and where am I going?" Carl Sandburg

This is the time of year for self reflection. Many of us vow to make New Year's resolutions and promise to keep them. We pledge to get rid of the clutter, exercise more, eat healthier, drink less, be kinder-the list goes on forever. The sad reality is we probably forget about these resolutions about a month into the New Year. Rather than make resolutions we can't keep, we should look back on the year/and our lives and ask what are our regrets? How can I do better? Can I be a more loving spouse, a better parent, can I perform better at my job, can I be a kinder, more compassionate friend? Do I continue to grow, learn, remain curious, try new experiences? Each of us experience events that alter our lives. Having a child or a grandchild, the loss of a job, or starting a new job, the illness of a parent of child, a friendship dissolves, the loss of a pet, children go off to college or get married, the death of someone close to you, the isolation of a pandemic-It doesn't matter what is different or has shifted. We just need to recognize that life experiences constantly change us, and we need to let those close to us, know it. Acknowledging these changes requires adaptation and reexamination. No matter our age; beliefs and values are always under construction. This is a good time to reintroduce yourselves to your partner or spouse. Fall in love all over again. Try to acknowledge the good things your partner does-what do you appreciate? It can be anything that makes you happy-did they plan a trip, pay the bills, take out the garbage, fold the laundry, make a dinner reservation pick up the cleaning.....Don't underestimate communicating your gratitude! It goes a long way in a relationship (whether it is being voiced to a friend, partner, spouse, work associate, or child). Many of us like consistency and feel safe. But others, feel trapped with too much consistency. There is a balance. Try new things. Reprioritize what we view as important and help others understand who we have become. Don't be afraid to express your fears, hopes, wishes, and dreams. Continue to grow at any age. Don't be complacent. Become a better version of who you are! "One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else." K.L. Toth Wishing you a Fabulous 2023! Happy and Healthy New Year! PEACE OUT-ONE B

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY; OR IS IT?

As soon as Halloween approaches, we start to see commercials for Christmas! These spots always get me in an uproar. I am the original "Bah Humbug" Queen. I believe we have forgotten what the meaning of the season is truly about. We should be thinking about why we are blessed, and what we are grateful for. But, rather, the holidays have become more about which gifts to buy; how many people we need to buy for; and what is the appropriate amount we should be spending. Despite the commercials and ads, this time of year is not all about beautifully wrapped presents, and warm cashmere sweaters. This year, I am feeling profoundly sad and I am missing my Mom. Sorrow for my loss has slowly been creeping up on me. I have come to the realization that I am now an "orphan"- both my parents have passed, and this is the first holiday without either of them. And, I have also come to the scary truth(surrounded by many friends and acquaintances dealing with significant health issues)that I, too, am on the "back nine" and life is quite unpredictable. Lately, the expectations for the holidays between buying gifts, baking, cooking, and attending various functions seems somehow more overwhelming. In order to deal with all this, I have delegated tasks and I have started saying "no" if I am feeling too stressed. I do my best to put on a happy face and go about my day, but I am not always successful. I hope that family and friends understand, and are aware of the additional vulnerability and loneliness I am dealing with this year. No matter when you lose someone dear to you, whether they are young or old, loss equals pain. Even though a loved one is gone, your love does not die. I'm not going to lie-it's been a rough go for me. So what can I do to get beyond this funk? I try to exercise every day; eat healthy 95% of the time; and drink less alcohol, which is extremely hard during the party season! Sleeping more is also not an option for me, since I am totally incapable! Going forward, I will continue to keep the memories of my Mom and Dad alive by telling stories and sharing my memories about them. I want to honor and respect them always. Emotions are a funny thing: we can feel sad one moment, happiness the next, and guilt for something else all in a matter of seconds. Do not judge, and instead, try to be compassionate because one's life isn't always as it seems. This year I will try to focus on what matters most to me (family and friends) and I will try to ignore feelings of pressure to please everyone all of the time. It's not possible to please everyone, and it only leads to further anxiety and stress. Most of us have unrealistic expectations at this time of year which causes addiional disappointments. Rather, tell people what you need and maybe they will hear you. Unfortunately, this is not easy but keep trying. Most of all don't attribute intent to someone's behavior. It may not be about you. Another lesson I am trying hard to learn. Again, not easy! I wish all of you a joyful Holiday filled with Health and Happiness. Stay focused on what's important and cherish the worth of wonderful friends and family.... and not the worth of gifts given and received. PEACE, HEALTH, LOVE, HARMONY-ONE B

GETTING OLD AIN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART (MAE WEST)

Although Fall is my favorite season, I come to it each year with some mixed emotions. Every year at this time, I begin my scheduled yearly medical exams. As I approach my 68th birthday, I have just completed a series of gel shots for an ailing right knee that locks conservatively about 8-10 times a day. At the end of these shots, I did not have a lot of relief, so an MRI was requested. Not surprisingly, I have arthritis and "complex" meniscus tears due to old age. With no assurance that arthroscopic surgery could help the locking, I shall endure this issue for the time being. Next, was the first time comprehensive hearing test. The good news-my hearing is PERFECT! The bad news-I have negative pressure and my eustacian tubes are dysfunctional. WHATEVER... I'll take sudafed when I fly. After the hearing exam, I went through an intensive eye exam which lasted over two hours. Good News again-perfect eye sight, but bad allergies, and just continue with over the counter readers. The next appointment was to my Endocrinologist who monitors my osteoporosis, my sugar, my nine nodules in my neck, and prescribes Prolia shots that I get twice a year. My nodules have shrunk-HURRAY! Coming up: My annual Ob-gyn appointment, my annual physical with my internist; my annual visit to my cardiologist; and finally, my annual bone density and mammography. By the time I have completed all these examinations, it's spring again! Oh-I forgot to mention my 3 times a year dental cleanings, and my annual body scan with my dermatologist!! Ironically, U.S. News came out today with a report that all American adults under the age of 65 should be screened for anxiety disorders. The task force didn't recommend that seniors over 65 get screened since symptoms of anxiety and aging can overlap! How can we NOT be anxious? We are constantly dealing with waiting for our lab results, and sitting for hours in various doctor's waiting rooms? What happened to the time when we went to a doctor once a year for only our annual physical? Those days are long gone! I have a friend who says that we can only talk about one body part at a meal and then we must zip it! Despite all my complaining, I realize that getting older is better than the alternative. It is a benefit not afforded to everyone. And, in many cultures, old age is held in particularly high esteem. But, old age is rarely celebrated. The bottom line is that we can either view aging as an opportunity or a deficiency. I choose to view it as an opportunity. That being said, there are a few concerns I must express to you. For example, who will monitor the random hair growth on my face when I can no longer see it, or have hands that can't manipulate the tweezers? Or, will I be mistaken for a turkey at Thanksgiving when people are sitting across from my neck at the holiday dinner? And finally, who will help me locate my car in various parking lots after many minutes of searching? My hope is that my family and friends will not become frustrated with me, and will exhibit enduring patience. After all, this is the first time I've ever been old. I haven't yet had a chance to practice! But, first and foremost, I want to feel respected, loved and not alone. Isn't this what we all wish for - whether we are young or old? "If you're not getting older, you're dead. Tom Petty (he ought to know!) "So far about aging, despite the creakiness of one's bones and cragginess of one's once-silken skin, is this: DO IT. BY ALL MEANS DO IT. Maya Angelou "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln Wishing you all the most exquisite fall season! PEACE OUT-ONE B

"WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE. WE DIDN'T LIGHT IT BUT WE TRIED TO FIGHT IT."

Hot Summer No Rain Total Bummer Insane Covid Monkeypox World exploded Vaccine rocks Liz Cheney Gives a Damn Moral Lady Sacrificial Lamb Portier Hate Crimes Travel Delay Airport Lines Supreme Court Pro Choice Abortion Ban Use Your Voice Charlie Watts Robert Morse Insurection Plots A Fainting Horse Iran Ukraine Afghanistan Such Pain Ginni Thomas Cult Member Breaks Promise OFFENDER Climate Change Shark Bites Stock Exchange Knife fright Republicans Election Deniers Democrats Not Liars Anti Semitism Gas High Racism BYE BYE Donald Trump Fake News Orange Lump Need Booze Joe Biden Take Pride In Al Zawahiri Made World Weary N.Y. Mets On a high N.Y. Yankees Not so fly ENJOY THE END OF SUMMER. PEACE OUT-ONE B

WHY GOLF? AND WHY NOW?

I grew up surrounded by the game of golf. My Dad loved the game. He was an avid golfer who played 3-4 times a week for as long as I can remember. We belonged to Shackamaxon Country Club in Scotch Plains, and that is where he spent all his recreational time when he was away from his offices and his beloved patients. His swing was easy, fluid, and a pleasure to witness. And from the ages of 73-93, he was capable of shooting his age! Finally, very late in life, he got his first and only hole in one which was beyond exciting for him. My Mom and my sister also played and generally, they were consistent, respectable nine holers. I, however was satisfied to remain on the sidelines and never took up the game. People assume I know nothing about the game. But actually, I know more than they think. I understand golf etiquette, which club to use for my next shot, how to replace divots, all the golf terms, bump and run shots, and most importantly, to keep the game moving. When I first married my husband, who too, is a good golfer (lately, some days better than others!) and has been playing for over 60 years, I decided I might take up the game so that I could play with him. On my first outing with both my Dad and my husband, my Dad was relentless. Between him giving me lessons and constant criticisms, I came away dejected, deflated, and shaking. I put the idea of golf out of my head. As a perfectionist and a mom of two young children, I didn't feel I had extended periods of free time to practice and to play. But 40 years later, something magical has happened! I am now a grandma of five little ones ranging in ages from 10 to 3. Potentially, all 5 of these children will take up the game. Presently, two of my grandsons are learning to play and like the sport! This has become the impetus for me to take up golf once again. The thought of spending special time with each of these extraordinary children in a beautiful setting held tremendous appeal for me! With that goal in mind, I proceeded to schedule lessons, order a few clubs, and endure lots of black and blue wrists. If you ask me if I enjoy it, I'll smile and shrug my shoulders. The entire allure for me is based on spending quality time with my husband and grandchildren (and my children if they'll play with me!). I certainly don't like the clothes, the shoes, the heat, and the bugs; not to mention I can't pee behind a tree if nature calls! It's not the game itself that's drawing me in-it's the idea of who I'll get to be with while playing. AND THEN YESTERDAY HAPPENED! My husband and I had the honor and priviledge of taking my seven year old grandson out on the course. Neither he nor I were very good,(Owen showed great promise!) but it was one of the most memorable days in my life! Watching my husband with him, talking as we were walking to our next shot, discussing fescue, the "fringe" and why his friends love the 8th hole....We had the BEST time! I literally came off the course crying tears of joy-I thought to myself that I now had a reason to return to the course. It's spending time with the most special people in my life! What can be better than that?

SUMMER 2022 RECOMMENDATIONS

Surprise-even though I would like to vent, I've decided to ABORT that idea and give you some AMMO to BANG out your summer days... WHAT I'VE WATCHED OR WHAT I AM CURRENTLY WATCHING THE STAIRCASE-HBO MAX. Based on a true story, this is about the suspicious death(s) of Michael Peterson's wives. Starring Colin Firth and Toni Collette. I highly recommend. Mezmerizing. CANDY-HULU. A 1980'S perfect houswife isn't so perfect. Starring Jessica Biel who is terrific in this role. Thumbs up! HUSTLE-NETFLIX. Essentially "Rocky" in the form of a basketball movie. Not great, but good for kids and those who enjoy basketball movies. Adam Sandler and Queen Latifah star. FATHER OF THE BRIDE-HBO MAX. A remake of the original(s) but with a Cuban Spin. Andy Garcia and Gloria Estefan star. I liked it, but mainly because I am an Andy Garcia fan. But cheesy.. HALFTIME-NETFLIX. An excellent documentary about JLO and her life in the spotlight. Very good and enjoyable. THE GUILDED AGE-HBO MAX. If you haven't watched this, I highly recommend it. A Period drama during the 1880's with an amazing cast. Juicy, Fun, and well done. Great Series. ANIMAL KINGDOM-HULU. Now in its 6th season, I have watched this since the beginning, Originally, Ellen Barkin starred as the matriarch of a crime family. Although she is no longer in the show, I am still enjoying the series. This season(6) has started out well. If you feel like binging a show, this is quite good. And for the ladies, the male actors are hot. ON MY LIST TO WATCH GOOD LUCK TO YOU, LEO GRANDE-HULU. Retired widow Nancy hires a good looking young man to engage in sexual pleasure. Staring Emma Thompson. Looks like fun! KING OF TULSA-PARAMONT+. Starring Sylvester Stallone and created by Taylor Sheridan who does Yellowstone. Follows the Mafia Capo after he is released from prison. This doesn't premier until November 13, 2022. THE OLD MAN-FX.HULU. Story is about a CIA man who left the agency and lives off the grid. Starring Jeff Bridges. Looks interesting. I'm in! GASLIT-STARZ. A modern take on Watergate scandal in the 70's. Showcases untold stories and unknown characters who played a part in the crime. Starring Julia Roberts and Sean Penn. Sounds enticing. DARK WINDS-AMC. Takes place on an outpost of the Navajo Nation. A series of seemingly unrelated crimes are investigated by the police and the new deputy. All star cast. AMERICAN GIGOLO-SHOWTIME. Original series coming soon. Present day remake of the iconic film that had starred Richard Gere. Gretchen Mol and Rosie O'Donnell will star in this version. Drama, Romance, and Crime. What could be bad? MURDERS IN THE BUILDING-HULU. Now in its second season. Three strangers investigate mysterious deaths in their apartment building. Starring Martin Short, Selena Gomez, Steve Martin. I wasn't a fan of the first season. A little ho hum boring for me. Maybe I'll give it another go. MOVIES AND SHOWS TOP GUN:MAVERICK-I haven't seen it yet, but I hear it really delivers. Can't Wait. ELVIS-Also in theaters now. Austin Butler plays Elvis and after seeing him on all the late night shows doing promotion, I am stoked. He is the real deal! And Tom Hanks plays Tom Parker. Looks fabulous. THE STRANGE LOOP-On Broadway now, and supposedly the ticket of the season! About a Black, queer writer writing a musical about a Black Queer Writer. Rave Reviews-a must see. POTUS-On Broadway now. All star female cast in a story about a single day in the White House. RESTAURANTS I WANT TO TRY (mostly pizzarias!) AMORE PIZZA-NUTLEY. Jack Calandra gets rave reviews for his pizza. Supposed to be thin, crusty, and delish. BIVIO-MONTCLAIR. Individual pizzas and salads. Hard to get a res. Maybe takeout? PORTA-ASBURY PARK. A fun spot to try with the kids when you are down the shore. Vast menu and liquor license. AGRICOLA-MORRISTOWN. Farm to table menu. Looks like it's worth a try. DE PEPO-MONTCLAIR. Small venue. Basically pastas and salads with a few appetizers. I've heard wonderful reviews about their food. BYO WOLF-NORDSTROM IN NYC. Sharable small plates. Shop and then eat something! Looks fun. FASANO-NYC. Midtown's latest Italian, but you need to be on an expense account. VERY PRICEY. AQUILA PIZZA AL FORNO-LITTLE FALLS. BYOB. This place gets the BEST REVIEWS. Pizza looks so yummy. SANTILLOS-ELIZABETH. Supposedly great pizza and try the garlic bread with cheese. You can't eat here, so you literally need to scarf it down in your car while it's hot. I hear really good things about this joint. PRODUCT RECOMMENDATIONS FOR HOT DAYS ERIC JAVITZ-You can't go wrong with the hats and bags from this line. Perfect in every way, these straw totes and hats are great for the pool and beach. Many items are on sale. ericjavits.com PLINKS-These ice cube molds come in letters and shapes! Great for summer parties on your deck! $24.95 for one large Capital letter. Add them to your gin, vodka, scotch, and tequila. drinksplinks.com ILLESTEVA SUNGLASSES-Really beautiful sunglasses for men and women. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. So much cooler than any of the "designer" swag. illesteva.com BESTLAND HAIR FINISHING STICK-This looks like a mascara wand. You apply it to fly aways, frizzies, tidies up small stray hairs when you want to put your hair in a ponytail or bun after the beach or on a hot day. You can purchase it on Amazon and it's only $5.99. Throw it into your Eric Javitz tote! Enjoy the Summer! PEACE OUT-ONE B

IF YOU ONLY HAD A BRAIN/A HEART/THE NERVE

A BRAIN Laura Ingraham, of Fox News, recently suggested there is a link between marijuana and mass shootings. She believes that guns are not the issue. Rather it is "pot psychosis" that is the cause of people continually slaughtering others with AR-15's. She states she would rather "operate in the real world." I think SHE must be high on something. Seriously, has anyone checked her mental health? After seeing that clip, Whoopi Goldberg quipped that a stoned individual isn't likely to carry an assault rifle, and wouldn't be capable of shooting one! Whoopi goes on to say that even if they owned a gun, they wouldn't remember where they stored it. Other Republicans feel there is too much Porn and violent video games in our society today. These are causing the mass shootings. Or, maybe, it's because we don't teach moral values or we "took God out of school". These issues, they believe, can cause someone to become troubled and want to kill. Why are you all not thinking clearly? Admit the obvious. Yes there are troubled individuals, but guns kill people. There are too many guns and not enough safety measures in place preventing the purchase of weapons by sane and troubled individuals. This is a fact. Period. A HEART Many Republicans offer prayers and condolences to the families who have lost loved ones. They have been saying the same words since Columbine (1999). Their suggestions about enhancing the physical security of schools, securing limited entry points, allowing teachers and school officials to carry firearms are mere distractions from the real problem. Lindsay Graham, Marco Rubio, Mitch McConnell, Mo Brooks-you are heartless. Your opinions on mass shootings are hypocritical. For people who vigorously oppose Roe V. Wade, and who insist they are pro life-how can you allow so many deaths? How can you not support some type of gun reform? Arming teachers and school administrators is insane and not the answer. WE DO NOT NEED DOOR CONTROL. WE NEED GUN CONTROL. Your behavior exemplifies that your love for guns is greater than your love for children. Until one of you is directly affected by a family member of yours being shot, I fear you will not change. And only then, will it be too late. For all those that have lost family members, it is already too late. Have some RACHMONES. THE NERVE Very Few Republican leaders have had the courage to speak up. They fear they will lose elections. It seems that Republicans who are not running again are willing to speak out. Adam Kinzinger, of Illinois, said he is open to supporting a federal ban on AR 15 rifles. Toomey, who is retiring, would also support an assault weapons ban. Chris Jacobs, who is not retiring, caused quite a stir when he announced that he would support a weapons ban. These individuals believe, correctly, that we must mitigate 18 year olds from buying guns and they recognize that their party is not helping to enact laws that will do that. Hopefully, other Republicans will gather their NERVE(and courage) to speak the truth and help create laws to prevent more mass shootings. America must become a decent and responsible Society. Ten years after Sandy Hook, elections matter. Mass shootings are at a pace we have never seen before. We cannot become numb and look away. Our children need to be safe. We need to be safe. Schools are scary, malls are scary, grocery stores are scary, movies are scary. I am constantly looking for exit signs. How can we continue to live like this? Despite the lyrics in that Beatles song, "Happiness is NOT a warm gun". Happiness is a safe child who goes to school in the morning and comes home in the afternoon. "Happiness can really be measured by the distance between what you expect from any given situation and what you really get." Until we create a safe environment for our children, we will not and cannot be happy. The only way to shorten that distance, is to change our reality. We need to make our world a better place. VOTE THIS WEEK. IT MATTERS. PEACE OUT-ONE B