The Intimacies of a Marriage

Recently, I was watching a show on Hulu called The Split. The main character, a prominent female attorney was describing her marriage (to her lover). I was intriqued by the character's analysis of her marriage. My husband, a Trust and Estate lawyer, often deals with NDA's, pre-nups and post-nups, contracts,and various structuring of assets. So, I am slightly familiar with these terms. An NDA or non disclosure agreement is often known as a confidentiality agreement. It's an important legal framework used to protect sensitive and confidential information from being made public by the recipient(s). In other words, it keeps a lid on very sensitive information. Anyway, I began to think that although most of us do not have written NDA's, or pre-nups or specific written contracts with our spouses,we all have unsaid, unwritten, and inferred parameters and specific "jobs" within our relationships. The character in this show believed that you have NDA's which you have "mentally signed on the dotted line." At no point in the marriage can either partner divulge their intricacies. When you marry, you essentially make a promise that "all the worst bits of yourself", even ones that are not okay, are between the two of you. You have found someone who "will live with them; will live around them; and who won't taunt you with them!" You each tell yourselves that these little quirks are what endear you to one another. They are what make you love each other. But, in reality, these may be the things that ultimately drive you nuts day after day. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor, using your tweezers to pluck an eyebrow or nose hair, leaving four grapes in the refrigerator after eating the whole bowl, never turning off the lights, or denying you said something vengeful after a night of drinking.... Ultimately, you may carry these tiny intimacies around like weapons and that can be dangerous. Let your partner know these things bother you before one of you explodes. Forty four years later and truly, my only complaint is those four grapes left in the fridge. He is perfect in every way! As far as the unwritten contract of who does what in a marriage, it usually just evolves as time goes on. Whether you both work or not, the roles become clear, especially, once children come into the picture. In my case, I am the decorator, the travel agent, the scheduler of social dates and restaurant reservations, the grocery shopper the cook, the baker, the housekeeper, the gift buyer, the holiday planner, and the bill payer. My husband is the salary provider, the dishwasher, the garbage and recycle guy, the one who buys the beverages(they're too heavy for me to schlep), and the one who goes to the ATM. Parental duties were always split 50/50, and anything to do with our grandchildren-we're both in 100%! Every marriage is different. Many of my friends have their husbands do the shopping and cooking, the bill paying, and the social dates. Whatever works is the key. It organically evolves and the goal should be that you appreciate all that your partner does, and that neither of you resent what your "jobs" are. Early in my marriage, I asked my husband to take over the bill paying. About a month later, fearing that my phone and lights would be shut off, I promptly took that job back! I recently read that a good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal. I, for sure, know I got the better deal! "Marriage is a thousand little things...It's giving up the right to be right in the heat of an argument. It's forgiving another when they let you down. It's loving someone enough to step down so they can shine. It's FRIENDSHIP. It's being a cheerleader and a trusted confidant. It's a place of forgiveness that welcomes one home, and arms they can run to in the midst of a storm." (Darlene Schact) BIRTHDAY HUGS TO: L.K., M.J., D.S.C. PEACE OUT-ONE B

THERE'S NO VACCINE FOR STUPID (OR ANIMAL HOUSE 2021)

Remember when we associated the terms Delta, Epsilon, and Lambda with sororities and fraternities? Those were the good old days, not so long ago. Now we associate those words with mutant variants of the Covid Virus. The Delta variant is spreading: 89,977 cases is the current 7-day average, which is an increase of 30% over July, 2020. This virus is still causing death in mostly unvaccinated people. Sororities and fraternities can often be breeding grounds for ignorance, racial exclusion, classism, and silly/stupid behavior. College students are young and often make mistakes, so their behavior is somewhat excusable. But,now too, the people of the United States are mimicking the unacceptable behaviors of frat boys! Just like the frat parties that hold large gatherings and create widespread outbreaks of illness, Sturgis, South Dakota decided to have a motorcycle gathering this past weekend. These attendees are exhibiting willfull ignorance that affects negatively on the surrounding communities. It will, for certain, be a super spreader event. Yes, I know it is held outside. That is not where the problem lies. It's when the people get off their motorcycles and go into their hotel lobbies, eat indoors at a restaurant, and drink at the bars. This is how the spreading occurs. Journalist Donnie Johnson says: "American ingenuity could defeat Covid 19 but American ignorance won't let it. This virus has killed over a half million of our citizens, and left others with lifelong health issues. Yet, we have to pay or bribe people to protect themselves. Free drinks, $100 vouchers, etc. are the reward for getting the shot. Shouldn't not dying be the reward for you and your children? Why do we have to bribe a society to do what they should be doing anyway? Countries around the world are literally begging for this shot. Yet, we are turning it down, and actually throwing away unused doses. This is stupidity at its highest form-playing Russian Roulette with your life. Think of all the insane things you have done or put into your body when you were young! Pot, speed, LSD, shrooms, queludes and alcohol.... Now, this is where you draw the line-with a life-saving vaccine? Thanks to Trump and his team, three safe and effective vaccines were produced at record speed. Why isn't this man standing up in front of the world and taking credit for it? Why isn't he telling his constituency this vaccine is safe and everyone needs it? Why aren't his Republican senators and congressman doing the same? The Trump Republicans in Louisanna, Missouri, Nevada, Arkansas and Florida need to be convinced. The infections are soaring in those states. People on their deathbeds are lamenting their poor decisions-TOO LATE. Science doesn't lie. 70% of Americans who took the vaccine did not turn into monsters. They are not sterile. Our DNA has remained the same. Healthy Babies were born and Pregnant woman didn't die. And NOT ONE REPUBLICAN TURNED INTO A DEMOCRAT. We were almost near the end of this; we started putting away our masks; we were leaving our homes, going back to restaurants and our offices. We were resumming LIFE. Are we so stubborn and selfish that acting like entitled spoiled brats is acceptable? Why should unvaccinated people be allowed take down those who don't agree with their "herd immunity" theories? Putting yourself at risk is one thing. Hoasting that view on others is selfish, mean spirited, and plain ignorant. You are putting your own children, grandchildren, and neighbors at risk. WHETHER YOU ARE A DEMOCRAT OR A REPUBLICAN, NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO INFECT OTHERS WITH A DEADLY DISEASE! The goals of sorority and fraternity life should be the same as the larger society. We should teach the world how friendship and brotherhood enhances collabrative work and a sense of community. We should be good neighbors and friends. We should exhibit kindness and caring. This denial of scientific facts is resulting in physical and emotional trauma, not to mention death. The lies and misinformation must stop. Somehow we must create avenues for unity. Thomas Jefferson says, "Love your neighbor as yourself and your country MORE than yourself." If unvaccinated people profess to love their country and truly meant that-they would get vaccinated and save the lives of fellow Americans. Until then-All of the unvaccinated are on "Double Secret Probation-Actually Not So Secret." (Animal House) We'll be Watching.... PEACE OUT-ONE B

Just When You Thought You Could Take A Breath....

So, here we all are! Vaccinated and Unmasked! Hugging and Kissing after so many months-Geez, doesn't it feel great! It no longer matters where we eat-inside; outside; with 10 people, or right next to ten tables....It's all so good. Truly, it's Heaven! But Wait!!! Those of us who were just beginning to feel safe and confident are masking up again. I had to dig my clorox wipes and masks out of the cabinet. I'm making sure I have lots of hand sanitizer in my purse and in the car! I haven't stocked up on toilet paper yet. And, I'm gearing up for a possible lockdown, or at the very least, a new set of CDC recommendations. So just in case you find yourself staying in a bit more after the summer, I have a huge list of what to watch on the television. Don't ask how I watch so much t.v.! You all know I only sleep 3 hours a night! WHAT I'M WATCHING NOW The End-Showtime. Dark comedy about a six months-widowed Woman who attempts to take her own life. This is so well acted and I am hooked. The Unforgotten-PBS Masterpiece/Prime Video. Two detectives trying to solve a murder that happened 39 years ago. This is the 4th season, but I never watched the previous 3 seasons, and it doesn't matter. Really like it! Catch and Kill-HBO. Documentary by Ronan Farrow that interviews whistleblowers and journaliststalking about the Harvey Weinstein debacle. Very interesting. My Unorthodox Life-Netflix. The story of Julia Haart who is now the CEO pf Elite World Group and was a former housewife in an ultra-Orthodox community in Monsey, N.Y. Gave me better insight into the Orthodox way of life, and why someone felt trapped and her need to leave and start a new life. The White Lotus-HBO. The adventures of the guests and employees of a tropical resort. So much fun! Made For Love-HBO Max. Dark comedy about a woman married to a tech billionaire whom she hates, and he has implanted a device to track her locations and her emotions. Annoying... Dr. Death-Peacock. Based on a podcast about a prominent doctor in Texas whose patients do not survive his surgeries or they are permantly disabled. I can barely get through 10 minutes! I am terrified of spine surgeries now, or for that matter, any surgeries. VERY VERY SCARY. Alec Baldwin and Christian Slater. Animal Kingdom-TNT. I have watched the previous 4 seasons. Without the gangster matriarch, Ellen Barkin (who was killed last season); her 3 sons and grandson aren't keeping me interested. Don't Bother. Kevin Can F**K Himself-AMC+ or You Tube. Annie Murphy from Schitt's Creek is married to an insensitive buffoon and she is struggling to figure out her life in Worcester, Mass. She is terrific. Watch. Godfather of Harlem-Epix or Amazon Prime. Forest Whitaker is fabulous as Bumpy Johnson. He has served his time in Alcatraz, and returns to Harlem to take back control. This is the second season. Excellent. This Way Up-Hulu. Comedy about a woman recovering from a nervous breakdown with the help and support of her sister. Covers the themes of lonliness, family, and mental health in a brilliant way. Like this! WHAT TO WATCH NEXT: THE NEXT BINGE Seaside Hotel-PBS Masterpiece/Amazon. Resort on the North Sea follows the regulars returning each summer and the staff. Watched 2 episodes and really enjoyed. The Vigil-Prime Video. Sounds intriquing. Orthodox Man is called to watch over a deceased member of his former community. Test Pattern-Hulu. A woman's relationship with her boyfriend is put to the test after she is raped by an assailant. Ebert website gives it a thumbs up. Seems like it would be difficult to watch. McCartney 3-2-1-Hulu. Intimate one on one interview between music producer Rick Rubin and Paul Mccartney. Six episodes. I hear this is absolutely amazing. Lisey's Story-Apple TV+. Based on a Stephen King novel, this is the story of the widow of a best selling novelist. While going through her husbands manscripts and papers, she discovers dark secrets. It's Stephen King-it's got to be petrifying. Julianne Moore, Clive Owen, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Joan Allen. Mr. Inbetween-Hulu. Comedy about a man juggling family responsibilities and being a "criminal for hire". This is the 3rd season. So, there will definitely be a few weeks of binging. Summer of Soul-Hulu. Questlove directs this documentary about the Harlem Cultural Festival of 1969. I've seen a little of this and it looks cool! Foyle's War-Acorn/Prime Video. This was highly recommended to me but it's six seasons. Might have to wait until a snowstorm. Big investment of time. British detective drama set during the second world war. Lupin-Netflix. Story of a famous thief and master of disguise. Two Seasons. RECENTLY FINISHED WATCHING Shiva Baby-HBO MAX. Movie about a bisexual Jewish woman who attends a shiva with her parents and encounters an ex-girlfriend and an ex-boyfriend at the shiva. Cute, a good distraction, and not a big investment of time. Us-PBS. Only two episodes. A combination of a travelogue and a family drama about a couple who takes one last vacation before getting divorced. LOVED. Younger-Hulu. One of my favorite shows! Just finished season 8 and there will not be any more seasons. A 40 year old woman pretends to be 26 in order to land her dream job. Sutton Foster, Hillary Duff and Peter Hermann(I have a crush!). So sad it's over. Cruel Summer-Freeform. 10 episodes. A teen drama. Takes place over 3 years in the 90's about a girl who goes missing and another girl takes over her life. Totally held my attention-an easy binge. Love Victor-Hulu. Another teen drama. Struggling with his sexual identity and his new high school, we follow an endearing Victor figure it out. Very good. Sex/Love-Netflix. Terrible, but steamy drama filled with tons of sex. About a suburban housewife wishing she could go back to her carefree days as a party girl in NYC. Meanwhile, her husband is so cute. And he's right there! Soft porn. Who Killed Sara?-Netflix. A murder mystery that has lots of twists and keeps you guessing. Just okay. Dirty John/Betty-Netflix. The story of Betty Broderick. Is it possible to really know the person you love most? Scorned housewife left by her husband. Amanda Peet is fabulous. Fun to watch. Handmaid's Tale-Hulu. An amazing series based on Margaret Atwood's book. This is about a totalitarian society in what used to be a part of the United States. Elizabeth Moss is beyond outstanding in this series. This is something that I had no desire to watch and ultimately, I found it to be mesmerizing. COMING SOON... Succession-HBO. Season 3 in Autumn 2021. Scenes From A Marriage-HBO. Jessica Chastain, Michelle Williams, and Oscar Isaac. September. Yellowstone-Paramount. Season 4 in November. One of the best shows on t.v. Kevin Costner! Respect-Film coming August 13 in theaters. Jennifer Hudson stars as Arethra. WHAT TO LISTEN TO WHEN YOU ARE WALKING Smartless Podcast-every interview is fun, but Stephen Cobert and Conan O'Brien were hysterical. Enjoy these summer months. Stay outdoors as much as you can. Go swimming or running. Go to the gym. Go to restaurants. Take a vacation. Visit your relatives that you haven't seen in 15 months! Socialize with friends. Now is the time-enjoy every moment. BUT, still mask up when you go into stores. Wash your hands often. Be safe. Protect our children and grandchildren. PEACE OUT-ONE B

CAREGIVER SYNDROME: WHEN YOUR PARENT BECOMES YOUR CHILD

Caregiving and needing care will happen to all of us. One day a parent will need our help just as we once needed theirs. Noone told us that having children will drastically change our lives; just as noone warned me that caregiving would often be hard and thankless work. Initially, it begins with small things: requests for groceries, picking up prescriptions from the pharmacy, an occasional doctor's appointment. No problem. But, as your parent physically declines, their situations and care needs change daily. Now you are dealing with hygiene issues, memory issues, administering medications, and a host of other things such as nutrition, proper hydration, exercise, etc. For me, eventhough my mom is in an assisted living facility, I feel overwhelmed and stressed all the time. I am emotionally and physically drained and close to burnout. Not always, but often it's the daughters who bear the brunt of responsibility when caring for aging parents. I know all the advice that is given to alleviate my stress: Set boundaries, accept my limitations, stay active, meditate, find a balance between your kids, your work, your friends, and your grandchildren. And self care. "Caregiver syndrome" strongly manifests as exhaustion, insomnia, anger, rage, resentment, guilt, and anxiety when dealing with a chronically ill parent. In the past year, I have had thryroiditis, various bouts with chalazions which led to surgery,a pinched nerve in my neck, high blood pressure, and a blip on my ekg which led (thankfully) to 2 normal stress tests. I recently read that there is a 63% higher risk of mortality in caregivers than non-caregivers of the same age. My mother is 94 and she may very well outlive me! My immune system has surely declined since my mom moved here! Yet my 94 year old mom who is in heart failure is doing fine, except for her daily falls! Brothers and Sisters offer some relief, but generally they are best at giving you support and advice while running in the other direction. They do not talk to the doctors for hours on end. They do not get the phone calls in the middle of the night when mom has fallen. They do not oversee that all medications are being ordered by hospice. They do not visit on any regular basis. They do not pay bills. As a result, I have given up time with my husband, my children and my grandchildren and declined social activities with friends in favor of time spent on caregiving activites. And, when I finally do have a little free time, I'm too emotionally drained to do anything or see anyone. I just want a bed and Netflix. It's not any easier for the aging parent either. They feel a loss of independence and rightfully struggle to maintain some sense of control. Parents rebel and do not want to be told what to do. This fosters anger and resentment towards the caregiver. This past year of Covid bred isolation which in turn resulted in lonliness, depression, and more health decline for the aged. It's a difficult dilemma for both the parent and the child who is the caregiver. I feel I have an ethical responsibility to make sure my loved ones are safe, secure, and getting the attention they need. We have a duty to help loved ones as they age, but there are limits. I must learn to set limits and accept my limitations. Because at times, I feel I just can't continue on this path. I am blessed to have had my dad here for 95 years, and I am blessed to still have my mom here at 94 years. Hopefully, I will continue to keep her well, and at the same time find the road to my sanity! "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." George Washington Carver PEACE OUT-HAPPY 4TH! ONE B

Love and Marriage

This week my husband and I will be celebrating our 44th Anniversary. Over the years, We have overcome significant obstacles and faced many challenges. I have had lots of time to reflect on what contributes to enduring love and a lasting marriage. My husband and I couldn't be more different. I think I am outgoing, independent, extremely organized and anal, and more often than not, contemplating(or worrying about)the next task or obligation. He appears to be more cerebral, quieter, reserved but friendly, organized but "seemeingly" relaxed (it's a facade!) and always goes with the flow focusing only on the present. He has the ability to compartmentalize issues. I cannot. I take everything in and worry about it all at once. But, when I am upset or scared about something (my kids, illness, parents) he literally holds me up. And, when he is having a moment and losing it and about to freak out, I am suddenly his reasonable, calming, and supportive force. Leo Tolstoy said, "What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility." Do we argue? Yes! Do we make up easily? No! Love doesn't mean you will always agree or never have an argument. It means that despite the bad days you still can't see yourself without that person. My advice to couples is think before you speak. The most important take away is this: Do not try and win the argument. Don't try to defend your actions or words. Don't try to give an explanation as to why you did this or that, OR why you didn't. LISTEN to your spouse when they are expressing an issue. Whether you believe it to be valid or not, DOES NOT MATTER. This is the most important advice I can give after 44 years: Empathize with the feelings that your spouse is communicating. Sympathize. Apologize without a "but I" or a defensive response. Know it wasn't easy to express or emote these feelings to your spouse. And know that these feelings are very real to her/him. Now, it is the time to do better. Be better. Period. Remember that you cannot recover words after they are said or recover the time after its gone. Once you respond with that horrible insult, it is ALWAYS there. Lyndon Johnson said, "Only two things are necessary to keep one's spouse happy. One is to let them think they are having their own way-the other is to let them have it!" For me the definition of what defines a good Marriage is continued Courtship, Mutual Respect, a healthy dose of Admiration, Love, Trust, Friendship, Sacrifice, and Acceptance. In a marriage, "the independence of a wife and husband should be equal; their dependence mutual, and their obligations reciprocal." I have to admit that I love my alone time,and I cherish our together time. The pandemic presented major challenges since we were with each other 24 hours a day. But we established a routine early on and it was a absolutely fine after the first week! So, never stop holding hands, buying each other little gifts, having date nights, telling your spouse how proud of them you are. And, know that you can tell them anything and it will remain just between the two of you. Foot massages, roses, date nights, and love letters work too.. Jud, "when I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew." Arrigo Boito "In all the world there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world there is no love for you like mine." Maya Angelou HAPPY 44TH! ONE B

Happy Mother's Day

When I graduated from Penn, the furthest thing from my mind was motherhood. I entered a buying program with Gimbels, and began my journey of various jobs throughout the years. I moved on to being an assistant buyer for designer childrens clothes for clients in the south. I then went on to sell Petit Bateau to individual stores. And, then, when I became pregnant, I opened a jewelry company out of my house called Karat Patch (I still love the name). As the girls got a little older, I sold advertising for town guidebooks that were distributed to local realtors, schools, and colleges. I became an activities director for an assisted living facility, and finally, I acquired my current insurance license to sell life and health insurance which I have had for 15 years. As I mentioned above, the idea of raising children was the furthest thought from my mind. I hadn't given any consideration as to how to raise two beautiful, independent daughters. Truthfully, when I was growing up, my parents didn't encourage me to make my own way in the world; or to have a career, or to be independent financially. Noone took me to colleges for tours, helped me fill out the applications, or provided me with SAT courses. I was flying solo and had to figure it all out pretty much on my own. When I did become a parent, I took on the hardest job of my life.There had been no training for this. No college courses-I was winging it. I was now the CEO of my family, and my home. Not only was I a teacher, but I had manage the bills, the home repairs, the interior design, the planting and landscaping, the travel plans, the cleaning, and the meal preparation. Most importantly, I was in charge of these two precious girls. Caring for them and protecting them from danger became my most challenging opportunity yet. I couldn't or wouldn't screw this up! Parenting involves so much learning as you go. Sure there are how to books, but every child is different. You can think you do or say the exact same thing to siblings. One will see it as helpful, another will be insulted that you think they need help. And one will just say F--k ff and totally ignore you. Injuries are super challenging! You don't want to over react and scare the daylights out of them, but you certainly don't want to under react and land them in the hospital-it is a very fine line. Rushing to activities or school when you have more than one child is a dilemma too. School begins and ends at different times and often is at different locations. Activities and playdates interfere with a sibling's naptime. It can be a nightmare. And don't even think about when your taking a work call if you also have a job outside of the home. Another aspect of parenting is promoting individual interests and creativity. Encourage your children to embrace their differences and learn to accept others uniquenes and talents as well. They must show kindness and compassion. They must also understand they can't excel at all things, but they should try their best at everything. With sports, a parent needs to stress the importance of being a team player and how one should exhibit good sportsmanship. So, today I want to pay tribute to all the Moms out there. We all try our best, but we don't always get it right. There's lots of trial and error. Believe me, I have tried hard to shape my daughters into strong, intelligent, kind, independent women that handle careers and family seamlessly. They have both grown into mothers that I am so incredibly proud of. Sometimes they'll get it right, sometimes they'll get it wrong, sometimes they'll blame me, and sometimes they will feel grateful that I tried my best and now, as moms themselves, they realize that being a parent isn't an easy road to navigate. It's the hardest job we will ever have. But it is the MOST rewarding (And yes, sometimes it's thankless). The other day as I was watching the movie In and Out with my grandson, it occured to me that my role as mom was alot like the role of Riley, the preteen, in the movie. I, too, have experiemced those five major emotions in my role as a mom: there has been fear, sadness, anger, disgust. But, truly the protagonist of my emotions as a mother is JOY! There has ALWAYS BEEN JOY! There is no better experience in this world-Except maybe, being a Grandmother! Happy Mother's Day to my girls and all the Moms out there! Peace Out! One B

THE WHOLE WORLD STOPPED, BUT SOMEHOW WE KEPT LIVING

At the beginning of the pandemic last Spring, we mistakenly believed that the lockdown would last a few weeks, or at the most, a month. Initially, we welcomed the idea of spending quality time with our significant other; of organizing our closets and kitchens, and purging clothes and the items we no longer used or needed. Our homes sparkled! We felt a sense of great accomplishment. The lure of having unlimited time to create gourmet meals, bake sourdough bread, and learn the technique of braiding challah was enticing. To keep busy, when we weren't cleaning or cooking; some painted, others played canasta, bridge, poker, or mahjong online. Many of us binged shows on Netflix, read incessantly, or became full time home educators for our children. As Summer and the warm weather approached, we planned outdoor socially distant visits, scheduled dates to bring our own cocktails, and we ate meals at separate tables six feet from our friends and families. With the approach of Fall and then Winter, we perservered and stayed outdoors well into December, until we couldn't endure the cold weather any longer. Still undeterred, we then moved into newly redone garages with our scarves, hats, gloves, down parkas and portable heaters. We attended Zoom Birthdays, Baby Namings, Weddings, Thanksgiving feasts, Passover Seders, Funerals, and Work meetings. Cosmetic Surgeons thrived because it was the perfect time to tweak your unwanted whatever. Think about it, who would see you for the next several months? Exercise Equipment was all the rage; we could no longer go to the gym, and so the gym came to us. Some got into the best shape of their lives, because they finally had the time to exercise-they were no longer commuting to work at 6 a.m. and returning home at 7 p.m. While others ate more, snacked more, and ultimately, weighed more: the famous Covid 15! We replaced refrigerators, bought storage freezers, ordered new washers, dryers, dishwashers, ovens, and hot water heaters because ours broke from so much use! Appliance stores had no stock being delivered, and there were 3 -4 month waits if you were lucky enough to even score a new appliance. As weeks turned to months and the months approached a year, our enthusiasm for staying at home and being isolated began to wane. Depression and Anxiety set in. The daily news of deaths and illness took its toll on our psyche. Fear of losing loved ones constantly infiltrated our thoughts. Feeling hopeless, We drank more alcohol, ate more edibles, popped more Xanax, and took Ambien to sleep. We called our therapists! Lawyers, too, were busier than ever. People were creating wills, and/or reviewing and updating their old ones. People who never considered a will until now were obsessed with getting them signed by tomorrow! Video visits with our Doctors were off the charts : We needed to discuss imagined or real Covid symptons, palpatations and chest pain, and moles that might be cancers. Then Winter turned to Spring, and here we are! A year later and thankfully, many of us are fully vaccinated. Our lives are slowly returning to a "new normal". Vaccinations have afforded us the luxury of hugging our parents, our children, and our grandchildren. We can actually now visit a Doctor in person. We have finally scheduled long overdue teeth cleanings, colonoscopies, mammograms, and EKG's. We can go to a restaurant, a friend's home, or the gym if we so choose to do so. Our children are returning to school and camp (albeit with many restrictions and precautions). Adults are going back to their workplace (if their job still exists). And yet, many of you have elected to give up your office space and still prefer to work from home. Many of you chose to retire. This year seems like a very bad dream. Ultimately, from a crisis you may discover some good, if you search hard enough. We learned to open our hearts to what really matters. We learned to live with fewer resources. We learned to cherish every moment and never take our health for granted. We learned to take more notice of the joys and kindnesses that do exist. We learned to relish moments of laughter and love. We have learned patience and resilence. We learned how to be better parents-how to balance the need to protect our children/grandchildren from danger, while allowing them to be young and free. We learned to NEVER give up hope. My wish for all the babies conceived and born during this crazy time, is that they never experience the anguish of a pandemic in their lifetime. You should know that you truly are cause for celebration! You are the greatest result of a year that was NOT great. My wish for the children who do remember this year, is that it will be a joyful memory for you. A time when you spent loads of quality time with your Mommies and Daddies who would have otherwise been out of the home at work. So, everyone it is time to drop the doughnuts and lift those dumbbells! Go back out into the world! Have fun this Summer and enjoy your friends and your family. "Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering "it will be happier'....Tennyson PEACE OUT-ONE B