What's Your Pet Peeve

It's been a while since I've written. A foot sprain, some travel, PT for tennis elbow (I don't even play tennis!) and generally, life just keeping me busy. But, I've thought a lot lately about things that irk me. I'm sure you're not shocked to know I have many pet peeves! What exactly is the definition of a Pet Peeve? The dictionary defines a pet peeve as "something that a person finds especially annoying." After dealing with Doctors' offices, Insurance claims, travel in airports and 5 star hotels, buying a new phone-there are so many issues to discuss that irritate me. So here is my current list-Who knows? Tomorrow I might have ten more to complain about! 1) People picking their nose-ESPECIALLY in the car! Do they realize we can see through their windows? 2) Peeing on the toilet seat and not cleaning up after yourself. This goes for both women and men. 3) Not putting the toilet seat down after you pee. This is especially vexing in an airplane, a restaurant, and in hospital restrooms! Every man should be courteous in their own home as well. Totally unacceptable to not place the seat down after urinating. 4) Using your phone during a meal when your socializing with others. No reading, No texting, No calling! (Ok to google a unanimous question though!) I find it so rude when friends/family are paying more attention to their phone than to the company at the table. Shameful. 5) When calling your health insurance company to find out a benefit, a billing charge, or just ask a question-and getting 3 completely different answers to your question. AND, getting people in different countries, or who are working from home with dogs barking in the background. So Frustrating. 6) Calling your doctor's office and getting a call center who won't give you an appointment for 3-6 months. I want to talk directly to my doctor's office. There MUST be a number to push to be connected directly to the office. 7) Calling Customer Service and not getting a Human! Instead, there are prompts to go to a website or write an email complaint. Totally unacceptable. What is the point of having a customer service number if no one answers your call? 8) Going to a 5 star restaurant or hotel and they act like they're doing you a favor by helping you or letting you be there. 9) Loud chewers 10) Close talkers-don't get in my face! 11) Interrupters 12) Slow drivers in the left lane 13) Talking during the movies; having your phone out and lit up in the movies; texting during the movies. 14) Car Salesmen-Especially those who don't think a woman is capable of making a deal. And, not giving the best price right up front. If you want to make a deal with me, give me the best price first. Otherwise, I'm out of there and on to the next dealer. 15) The person next to you on the plane that uses both armrests, takes their shoes off, or snores. 16) Talking on the phone in public-i.e. walking on the track or in the park, shopping in the grocery store, and in a retail store. 17) Bad Tippers 18) a President who has the vocabulary of a fourth grader. Repetition of adverbs and adjectives cover his lack of knowledge. If I hear "really great", "very importantly", "huge", "millions and billions", "biggest ever", "tremendously" and "very nasty" one more time you'll need to peel me off the ceiling. My grandchildren have impressive verbal abilities that far exceed the President's (and they are 5,6,7,10, and 12!. He tries to cover up the fact that he has nothing intelligent to say. 19) Technology-I hate the Apple phone updates, the never ending texts and emails confirming appointments and taking surveys, emails that suddenly disappear, hulu asking me to sign in suddenly, the calendar that switches the time as I'm inserting the appointment... 20) People who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom 21) Chronic lateness-why is your time more valuable than mine? It shows a lack of respect. 22) Doctors who make you wait in the waiting room for 40-60 minutes. Then,when you are finally called into an examining room you have to wait another 30 minutes until your physician enters the room. So annoying!! By then my blood pressure is through the roof and they wonder why!! Now that I've got all of you pondering your pet peeves, I'll say goodbye! PEACE OUT-ONE B For those who celebrate Easter - Enjoy the holiday! For those who celebrate Passover-Wishing you a Zissen Pesach!

The Unspoken Rules of a Successful Relationship

As we approach Valentine's Day, I've been thinking about what makes a relationship work. Whether you are dating, engaged, married, or living together it takes a lot of effort to have a continuous loving bond. Many factors contribute to a long lasting alliance. First and foremost, you must communicate clearly, and really listen to what your partner is expressing. Do NOT deny or defend your behavior. Try to understand that if your partner is upset or sad about something, it is valid. PERIOD. Even if you don't think you committed an egregious act, listen to what the other person is expressing. And remember, that Yelling does not make your spouse or significant other hear you better. Have a calm discussion and try to compromise with one another and resolve the issues. FORGIVE and RESPECT one another; and value each other's input. ALWAYS APOLOGIZE-YOU ARE ALWAYS WRONG! Never say something you cannot take back or that you will regret. Your partner(spouse, fiance)will remember that comment forever. It will come back to haunt you in every argument; and it will come between you again and again. Everyone disagrees sometimes, but no matter how heated things get, NEVER call each other names. That's just basic respect. Be transparent at all times. Discussions about medical issues, money issues, work issues, friend issues, and children issues are necessary and should not be held back. Trust is crucial in a relationship and it is almost impossible to repair once its broken. If you love someone, you should not hold back any information. That is the worst way to approach a problem. No one wants to be shielded or protected from the truth. Rather, they want to help find a solution to the problem (which involves both of you). We need to ask, "how can I help?" Tell each other what you need, and don't assume the other person automatically knows what is needed. Don't take your children's side in front of them. If you disagree with your spouse or partner-do it privately. In other words, have a united front in front of the kids, and have an independent discussion later. Never put down your spouse in front of anyone: (friends/family). And, ESPECIALLY not to your parents. You may think it's okay to vent or it's funny, but it is not. And most importantly, if you are the one doing the listening-do not comment! Tomorrow the couple will be totally fine, and now they're pissed at you. Don't criticize your significant others parents, siblings, relatives-unless they initiate. And even then, they'll end up resenting your criticism at a later date. Try to remain silent-it's super hard.... Don't believe your spouse or partner when they say they need nothing or don't want a present. It doesn't have to be a big deal. The smallest gesture is appreciated (however, not a blender, toaster, or socks!). How about a love letter? Find a way to split chores. If one cooks, the other can do the dishes. If one does the laundry, the other can fold it. If one grocery shops, the other can unpack the groceries. Easy Peasy. Don't try to change each others basic character traits. You knew about them when you fell in love. In fact, those characteristics might have been the impetus for your initial attraction. Don't try to change your significant other. Let them SHINE! Couples should share values, morals, goals, and fun. Pursue your common interests. Travel, sports, music, literature, food, theater, current events, cards, movies.. Make time for each other as a couple to enjoy those interests-it's so important to take this time and enjoy one another. We never know what tomorrow brings. However, it is of utmost importance to plan for personal time as well. It is necessary to have independent hobbies and the freedom to do them without pressure or guilt from your partner. Physical Connection-Kiss, hold hands, dance, cuddle, touch, have sex-no one is ever too old and it's so crucial to have that physical bond. Whether you have been together for 48 years or for 3 years, honesty and empathy go a long way. Every couple is different and what worked for your great grandparents or your best friend may be the total opposite of what works for you and your significant other. Each long term relationship has its own secrets and love language. And, YES, Sometimes you will drive your partner crazy. But remember to have love, gratitude, compassion, laughs, fun, and sex. If you don't continually nurture those, you can't maintain a healthy and happy love connection. WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! PEACE OUT-ONE B

GOLDEN GLOBES; MOVIES I NEED TO SEE; AND YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS

BEST DRESSED 1) Anna Sawai-Winner of Shogun. Her leather Dior Bustier and Skirt were exquisite. Her hair and skin were perfection. And that Cartier necklace was beyond. Understated elegance. 2) Salma Hayek- The burgundy Gucci dress with a sequinned bodice and assymetrical train looked magnificent on her. I LOVED Lorrine Schwartz 300 carat emerald necklace. The contrast of colors complemented each other so well. I'm not a matchy matchy jewelry person. She should've eliminated the emerald cocktail ring and the emerald earrings and the green eyeshadow. That said, she still looked stunning. 3) Anya-Taylor Joy-Her vintage Dior gown combined with her hair and skin looked amazing. The Tiffany neckace with 64 carats of opals took my breath away. That necklace was EVERYTHING! I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Again, ditch the matching bracelet. Not necessary. 4) Demi Moore-Donning an Armani Prive metallic silk gown, she was one of my favorites. Her hair looked great; her body looked great; and the earrings and bracelet were lovely. 5) Zendaya-I always like her fashion choices. Her burnt orange Louis Vuitton gown paired with the 31 carat Bulgari paraiba and diamond necklace did not disappoint. She evoked Old Hollywood glamour. 6) Viola Davis-I can't leave her out. The recycled v-neck black sequinned Gucci gown was great. The striped multi-color cape looked fabulous. And, that hair was the finishing touch. I wish I could've partied with her at Studio 54! WORST DRESSED-OH, SO MANY... 1) Naomi Watts-From the neck up, she looked pretty. The Schiaperelli dress, however, was a total miss! A horrendous pink hem-ugh. 2) Nicole Kidman-Many will disagree, but her total look fell short. She is usually a best dressed pick for me. I didn't dig the Balenciaga gown, or her hair style, or her weird face work, or her Boucheron earrings. 3) Angelina Jolie-She consistently is the worst dressed. She needs a new stylist. The silver metallic Mcqueen gown missed the mark. BORING! 4) Cate Blanchett-The gold LV gown was unflattering and ill fitted. Enough said. 5) Selena Gomez- You can't argue that she looked classy and elegant in her ice blue Prada gown. But, I thought the off the shoulder Cinderella gown paired with her hair was very Jackie O and I wanted her to look more youthful and less matronly. 6) Dakota and Elle Fanning-Dolce and Gabbana red gown with a slit; Balmain champagne gown with a cheetah bodice: They looked like "ladies of the night". 7) Emma Stone-The haircut was ok. The dress was ok. Together nothing worked. Hated the look. JEWELRY WORTH A SECOND LOOK 1) Sarah Paulson-Wearing the Debeer diamond "Individuality" necklace which gave zebra vibes with black lacquer and 41 carats of diamonds. Normally, this wouldn't be my taste, but I thought it was cool. 2) Sofia Vergara-Generally, I dislike her dresses at all awards shows. However, her jewels were off the charts. She wore a 140 Carat diamond necklace with a 28 carat center marquis stone. The rings weren't too shabby-a 25 carat diamond on one hand and a 7 carat on the other hand. Be still my heart! MOVIES I NEED TO SEE (AFTER THIS AWARD SHOW) 1) LEE 2) CONCLAVE 3) ANORA 4) I'M STILL HERE (not the one with Joaquin Phoenix. The one with Fernanda Torres) 5) A DIFFERENT MAN 6) HERETIC 7) THE APPRENTICE 8) THE BRUTALIST 9) THE ROOM NEXT DOOR FRIENDS (an op-ed, sort of...) Throughout my early years and young adulthood I generally preferred hanging out with my guy friends. I wasn't a girl's girl. I didn't enjoy doing "girly" things. The guys kept it fun, easy, and simple. Sports and politics were the primary topics. Stick ball and kick the can on the street until late into the night was what I liked. With girls, there was often drama, some pettiness, and unnecessary gossip or mean behavior. As I got older, I had both girl and guy friends and I loved being with all types of people: the jocks, the hippies, and the intellectuals. I still didn't find talking about boys, fashion, hair, nails very exciting. (Okay, don't shame me! Above I've written an entire blog on fashion and jewelry and hair!!) But, things change. Life happens. Work happens. Marriage and kids happen. And as I've aged, I've come to recognize and value the worth of girlfriends. I truly cherish the times I spend with my girlfriends. (I'm still not a lady who likes to lunch or get a massage or have a spa day). With my friends I feel seen and heard. We can talk about everything. For example, sitting around a canasta table we jump from topic to topic: Children, Siblings, Books, Restaurants, Movies, Broadway Shows, Husbands, Pillow selections, Politics...I could go on forever. Nothing is off limits. With my friends, I can vent, cry, laugh, and confide my innermost secrets. The truth is that I, often, feel more at ease and less judged expressing my fears and (current) anxieties to friends rather than a family member. Rather than "poo poo" me, they listen, empathize, show compassion, and voice their opinions. My girlfriends provide me with their morals, intelligence, common sense, and humor. I don't want to keep it simple anymore. I want to go deep sometimes. I surround myself with people I care about and who care about me. And yes, these days I also enjoy talking about makeup, fashion, and jewelry! But, you already knew that! "FOR GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES I'LL BE ON YOUR SIDE FOREVER MORE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR" To the people in California-I feel for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you every minute. PEACE OUT-ONE B