TODAY YOU ARE A MAN-MAZEL TOV, MAX!

In less than two weeks, I will have the honor and pleasure of witnessing my grandson become a Bar Mitzvah. Recently, I looked back at the blog I wrote when Max was born. He was my first grandchild, and I was elated at becoming a grandma! In that (former) blog, I expressed how perfect Max was in every way. I marveled at what a blessing and miracle this newborn was. Thirteen years (and 3 months) later, I am still awed at this amazing human. I love this boy (almost man) unconditionally, as I do all of my five grandchildren. In that blog, I also promised that he could come to me for any reason; at any time, day or night. As he matured, I expressed my hope that he would learn to respect others and treat everyone with kindness. No matter their race, religion, political preference or gender everyone was to be valued. I stressed that a man should treat all women as their equal, and at the same time always be a gentleman. Well, these thirteen years have gone by in a flash! I am thrilled to report with enormous pride and joy that Max has far surpassed my expectations. Not only is he an amazing son and grandson; he is also a fabulous big brother, cousin, nephew, and friend. He exhibits respect, intelligence, a sense of humor, empathy and compassion, a humbleness, and self confidence. He has become a fabulous role model for his younger siblings and to his friends. Max shows a curiousity for knowledge and is open to listening to others opinions. Max constantly strives to better himself, and is open to learning from his mistakes. He always acts with integrity and faces challenges with resilence. These qualities are the TRUE definition of what a man is. Max, I hope you know how lucky you are to be surrounded by so many incredible people who love and support you. I want you to always feel the love and pride we all feel towards you. It has been an absolute joy to watch you become the extraordinary young man you are today. Your life journey is just starting, and I can't wait to witness all the wonderful things you will accomplish. Sending you Congratulations at this very exciting time in your life! I love you more than words could ever express, Nonni "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Henry David Thoreau "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose." Dr. Seuss "It ain't abput how hard you can get hit, but how hard you can get hit and still keep moving forward." Rocky (Balboa)

PROMISES, PROMISES

...Promises-you knew Trump would never keep. What have you actually gotten since he became President? Trump promised he would get tough on immigration. He kept that promise. Yes, he got tough. He has, in fact, cracked down on illegal immigration. Yes, it is the most secure border in recent history. Illegal entries are down by 95%. However, there have been 139,000 deportations without due process. This is not the constitutional way to control illegal immigration. I can't make sense of randomly picking immigrants (many who are here legally) and pulling them from their jobs and families and sending them to prison. And yet, he still condones January 6th? How can you pardon over 1800 people who attacked the police and the Capitol? How do we allow all of this? Trump promised to end the Israeli War and the Ukraine War on Day one of his Presidency. Neither war has ended. Hostages are still in captivity. For those of you who think he is good for Israel, please explain. In Israel, Netanyahu is disliked and Trump backs Netanyahu. Trump is more interested in taking credit for the truce earlier this year than helping end the war and getting the hostages returned. Netanyahu was asleep at the switch-he should've take responsibility for the events of Oct. 7 and resigned. There are still 59 hostages in captivity in the Gaza Strip-what is being done to get these hostages back? Are they even alive? Remember Trump's promise that "he was the only one capable of ending the war in Gaza"? As far as the Ukraine War, Trump has been despicable and horrible to Zelinsky and his country. Trump, once again, is only interested in what benefits him. In this case, he wavers between supporting Putin and Zelinksky. Trump recently forced Zelinsky to sign an agreement that covered minerals, oil, gas, and other natural resources and still does not provide security guarantees for Ukraine. Repayment to the U.S. was his objective of this deal. As recently as May 2, a Russian drone attack On Karkiv injured over 40 people. The war is not over and Trump has not kept this promise. Musk promised to cut 2 trillion from the Federal Budget. He's actually cut 150 billion. He has slashed the federal work force, university grants and research, and shut down agencies. Meanwhile, Trump has made over 7 golfing visits to Mar-a-Lago. Here he (over)charges the U.S. government to house his secret service and the White House Staff. He has supposedly spent $100,000,000 for 39 rounds in his first 100 days (see the cover of The New Yorker). Additionally, the Florida Sheriff spends $240,000/day to help protect Trump while he is in Florida. So far, the Trump administration has spent more than 6% as the Biden administration during the same period of time. That increase doesn't include added costs of required payments to 225,000 ousted federal workers. Presently,We have a shortage of social security workers, IRS workers, air traffic controllers, FDA workers, and the list goes on. Trump has promised an energy emergency and a drop in Utility bills-that has not happened. Trump has promised to lower the cost of living but tariffs on foreign goods will increase our prices. Trump has pledged to eliminate taxes on Tips, Overtime, and Social Security Payments. None of this happened. Trump promises to fight Antisemitism in our country. His strategy is to punish Universities by cutting billions of federal dollars to combat antisemitism. However, he is hurting innocent foreign students by ending their legal status to attend these schools. He is banishing curriculum in colleges that he doesn't think portray American values. He has eliminated funding for pediatric cancer research, and for tuberculosis research. At Harvard, he has frozen more than 2 billion in grants and contracts. How does eliminating DEI, research funding, curriculum, and talented foreign students from a university banish Antisemitism? This hurts ALL students-Jewish students too! Europe is attracting the spurned talent and hoping to surpass America in science and medical research. International sudents and faculty have seen their visas revoked. The NY Times writes today that "the continent's leaders are hoping to benefit as the Trump administration cuts support for research and threatens universities with the freezing of federal funds." So, how do we deal with Antisemitism? We educate people. The news reports that recently an antisemitic incident happened at David Portnoy's Barstool in Philadelphia. Customers held a sign that said F--- the Jews. The owner, Portnoy, was distraught and wanted to punish these kids. But, instead, he decided to make it a teaching moment and to pay for them to tour Aushwitz. (FYI-the servers who allowed the sign were fired and one of the kids was suspended from Temple University). "NOBODY COULD IMAGINE A FEW YEARS AGO THAT ONE OF THE GREAT DEMOCRACIES OF THE WORLD WOULD ELIMINATE RESEARCH PROGRAMS ON THE PRETEXT THAT THE WORD 'DIVERSITY' APPEARED IN ITS PROGRAM" (President Macron). Trump promised to instill tariffs. He did keep that promise. And, because of tariffs, the stock market has been volatile. In fact, it's the most volatile period for the market since the pandemic. The index at the heart of many 401k accounts is more than 7% below its all time high due to the uncertainty of a recession. Now, Trump has threatened a 100% tariff on foreign made films! The result is that cars, tires, toys, clothing, electronics, construction, groceries, and movies will all be more expensive. Shipments from China have basically ceased. Truckers and dock workers no longer will work overtime. Less containers shipped, less employment needed.....Importers are not sending goods to the U.S. Where is the Congress? This shouldn't be a Republican/Democrat issue. Politics aside-how does one person destroy global economics and get away with it??? We seem to be going BACKWARDS. Books are banned, subjects in schools are banned, transgender and gay lifestyles are being banned, foreign films are banned, abortion is banned, vaccines are discouraged....what's next? Oh, and Trump just screwed the 911 Health program staffers-they are fired. The Republicans were behind this program and fully backed the World Trade Center Program. Now, we aren't taking care of the 911 heroes. Can you believe Republicans are not speaking up? Oh, I forgot to mention that funding for PBS and NPR was also taken away. We're becoming a country of morons. Forty years of free trade down the tubes. Our world is becoming like the society in The Handmaid's Tale. How is it possible that we are being told what we can and can't read, who we can and can't have sex with, which movies we can see, what birth control we can and cannot use, which vaccines will be available to us or our children? I feel sorry for my children and grandchildren. They will not have the freedoms that I grew up with. God help us all. WISHING YOU A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! IT'S THE BEST JOY AND JOB EVER (EXCEPT MAYBE BEING A GRANDPARENT!) PEACE OUT-ONE B

JUNE'S BOONS

With the excessive rain, the onset of summer reruns, and the lack of movies in theaters; we are all looking for activities to fill our time. Hopefully, the sun will reappear soon for the many children who are attending camp; and for the adults yearning to play golf, pickleball, and tennis while the kids are away! Where can we eat on a rainy night if we just can't bear to cook? AMERIGO-408 Springfield Ave. Berkeley Heights. BYOB. Owned by Fiorino in Summit. Italian. BLACKBULL STEAKHOUSE-632 Meyersville Road. Gilette. Great Menu-many options besides steak. EATALY-1200 Morris Tpke. Short Hills. Limited menu of pizza, pasta, and salad. Cocktails. Better for lunch (in my opinion) GABAGOOL-430 Springfield Ave. Berkeley Heights. A Deli with great sandwiches and desserts. Only open until 4 pm. Go for lunch! HARTLEY'S-17 Greenwood Ave. Madison. Upscale Continental Menu with a pretty bar! And if you don't want to stay for dinner, there is also a bar menu with snacks to go with your cocktails! HOBBY'S DELI-32 Branford Place. Newark. I'm dying to go here for their famous pastrami sandwich! KRUG'S TAVERN-118 Wilson Ave. Newark. Been around since 1932. Voted best burger in NJ! I don't eat burgers, but I need to try a bite! MM by MORIMOTO-193 Glenridge Ave. Montclair. The Iron Chef launches a new restaurant in mid July. OSTERIA LK-180 Maplewood Ave. BYOB. No reservations. Supposedly, very good. I'll never know, because I won't wait an hour on the street to be seated! RP PRIME-41-11 Rte. 4, Fairlawn. An offshoot of River Palm restaurants. TOCO VEZ-95 Morristown Rd. Basking Ridge. A Mexican inspired steakhouse. Tequila, tacos, or steak. WOLFGANG'S-119 W. Main Street. Somerville. An offshoot of the NYC locations. Lots of steak options and sides. Looking for a new show or movie to stream during the summer months? COUPLES THERAPY-Hulu. A new season of this documentary series seeking help to improve their troubled relationships. HACKS-MAX. Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder are superb. Look for Helen Hunt! THE SHOW IS FABULOUS! THE HANDMAID'S TALE-Hulu. Based on Margaret Atwood's novel. It's so good and the finale is amazing. Elizabeth Moss rocks. MOBLAND-Showtime. If you liked The Sopranos, you will love this. Stellar cast-Helen Mirren, Pierce Brosnan, and Tom Hardy. Soooo good!! YOUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS-Apple. Jon Hamm, Olivia Munn, and Amanda Peet are the draw. The story is just ok... SIRENS-Netflix. Julianne Moore, Meghan Fahy, and Kevin Bacon star in this dark comedy taking place in the Hamptons. PERNILLE-Netflix. A Norwegian dramedy about a single mother with two teenagers. I enjoyed this series so much! Rather hit a Broadway matinee on a rainy afternoon? Call Me Izzy- Death Becomes Her Maybe Happy Ending The Picture of Dorian Gray Purpose All of the above have gotten rave reviews! What should we be reading next? On my nightstand right now. AUDITION by Katie Kitamura HEADSHOT by Rita Bullwinkel MATYR by Kaveh Akbar MY FRIENDS by Fredrik Backman OVER THERE by Jane Loeb Rubin *About to be released and she will be speaking at Mountain Ridge Country Club on June 10 The products you may want to order this month or covet (if they cost too much)... Sneex-the high heeled sneaker adored by Kathy Bates. $395. I pretty much live in sneakers or Clarks shoes these day. My feet always hurt. My toes are knarled. This may allow me to wear a heel occasionally! Mooncat Nailpolish-$16.00. Wearable art! Irridescent looks that are super cool. Penzeys Spices-a great gift idea. Fabulous spices and gift boxes. Even more exciting, is their political statement! Check out their site-it's impressive. Coney Island Everything Bagel Topping-I get the salt free, since I watch sodium intake. I sprinkle it on everything! fish, veggies, eggs. (Amazon) Green Roads CBD Muscle and Joint Roll On Cool Relief-Forgot Voltaren! Try this on your aches and pains. Jones Road Miracle Balms-I use Dusty Rose first and then swip on some Happy Hour as a highlighter. No foundation needed. First, use a moisturizer with SPF. Then apply the balm in the color you choose. Nice Laundry-Personalized men's socks. A great Father's Day Gift. And there are so many prints and colors. Boochier Jewelry-very pricey. I'm liking the yellow gold diamond slinky ring ($7,140) or bracelet ($33,980)! Here's hoping for a Sunny, warm June! PEACE OUT-ONE B

"NEVER LOVE ANYONE WHO TREATS YOU LIKE YOU'RE ORDINARY" Oscar Wilde

This week I have the joy of celebrating my 48th year of marriage, and almost 51 years of knowing my husband. The other day I caught a conversation on television between a daughter and her mother. The daughter was wondering how someone really knows if their boyfriend or girlfriend is actually the "right one" with whom they want to spend the their life with. The mom's response was, "it's easy-you DON'T wonder. My husband knew the exact moment he wanted to marry me. I leaned over to unlock the driver side door for him (in the dark ages, there weren't electric locks!). In the movie The Bronx Tale(1993) which was made almost 20 years after I unlocked his door, the same scene was depicted in the movie. For me, there wasn't an exact moment. Rather, I just knew (for a multitude of reasons) that he was the person I wanted to spend my life with. Even with the knowledge of his difficult mother (in-law to be), it didn't matter. I wasn't going anywhere. I could and would endure any obstacle to be with him. Not a day has gone by in 48 years when my husband doesn't ask me how my day was, and wants a synopsis even if it's the most mundane day of typical chores. Not an evening goes by where he doesn't bring a bottle of water to my nighttable before we go to sleep. When our daughters were little, he would always help bathe them and put them to bed. He never missed a choral concert, a baseball game, or a tennis match; even if that meant he would work until midnight after those outings. Both of us value family above all else. Our parents (since deceased), our daughters and sons-in-laws, our grandchildren, our siblings, and our nieces and nephews are what give us infinite joy and happiness. We hope the love and respect we show to each other reflects on them and illustrates how special they are to us, and hopefully, how special we are to them. Anyone who has the honor of knowing Jud sees his calm, kind, sweet, rational personality. He keeps me in check (or tries)! When my emotions get the better of me and I'm ready to jump off the deep end, he keeps me afloat. And when he is having a meltdown (which is rare and usually work related) I hold him up. After 48 years, I am even more cetain each day that this man was, and is, the right one. Life would be unimaginable without him by my side. Now, as we age, he clears his work schedule to attend any important doctor appointments I have so that he can listen and advocate for me. And, then, assure me after the appointment, that everything is fine! And I, too, do the same for him. Now that we don't attend our daughter's games any longer, he now attends the grandkids soccer, lacrosse, softball, baseball, and tennis lessons and matches, with the same enthusiasm and gusto he did for our daughters. My parents had an amazing marriage. They adored one another and showed their love to the world (sometimes ad nauseam)! I always hoped I would find that type of love in my life. Guess what? I did! "Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other." (Dalai Lama) "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." (Maya Angelo). Jud, you continue to make me feel loved every minute of every day. HAPPY 48TH ANNIVERSARY-I adore you. "AND IN THE END THE LOVE YOU TAKE IS EQUAL TO LOVE YOU MAKE" Paul McCartney PEACE OUT-ONE B

ANXIETY AND AILMENTS AS WE AGE

It seems more and more these days that the subject matter discussed by my contemporaries revolves around our current ailments or the anxiety about our loved ones health. While I still think of myself as someone in her twenties, my body begs to differ. This past Spring and Summer have been especially challenging for this aging body. While on a vacation to California, I was experiencing a high level of anxiety due to chest discomfort. As soon as I returned home, I went through a multitude of cardiac testing and basically, my Cardiologist told me that everything was quite normal "for my age." I was prescribed a very low dose of a beta blocker and magically, I have been feeling fine! Next, my feet which have been an issue for years (due to 20 years of donning high heels every day), have lately prevent me from walking my daily three miles. I have resorted to the gym and avoid the treadmill at all costs. After weekly visits to podiatrists where they shave calluses, tape toes, suggest surgery without guaranteeing it will fix the issue of gnarled arthritic toes; I am still at a loss. I continue on my quest to find someone who doesn't want to cut me and will have an innovative idea to help relieve the pain. And, then, out of no where I started experiencing a nagging and persistent bladder issue (TMI). This affliction has rendered my summer exhausting and frustrating. Once again, I was told by my internist, a urologist, and my ob-gyn that this is a common "age related" issue!! I am so tired of using that term as the catch all phrase to describe what's ailing me. None of these physicians agreed on the antibiotics(a total of 3), the remedy for the pain, or the prevention of further issues. Oh, and I can't forget my bone on bone right knee which needs a partial replacement or a total replacement, depending on which Dr. you consult. Truthfully, this is the least of my issues. I have delayed surgery with gel shots and they are helpful. Ultimately, I will do this surgery but presently, it does not affect my daily quality of living. So, that situation will wait a bit longer before a resolution. What I have come to realize is that Medicine is NOT an exact science. You must have confidence in your doctors and make sure they have your best interest at heart. If they are not really listening to you, they will give you a generic cure and not one that addresses your personal issue. Seek second and third opinions (you may have to wait 6 months to see the doctor that has been recommended as "the best"). It is rare to have two doctors concur on treatment and cure. Be persistent. Beg and call regularly for a cancellation. If your have a contact that can help you to be seen, use them! Finally, have an advocate-no matter what your age is! In the meantime, you all know me well enough to know my distractions from all this ridiculous nonsense. I spend exorbitant amounts of downtime watching movies, tv series, and reading books or listening to podcasts. Without commenting on all of them, I will provide you with my lists. BOOKS Headshot by Rita Bullwinkle My Friends by Fredrik Backman Dreamcount by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie The Names by Florence Knapp On my nightstand for next read: The River is Waiting by Wally Lamb The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong Bridge of Sighs by Richard Russo MOVIES Happy Gilmore 2 (silly) My Oxford Year (sad) My Old Ass (cute) Nonna's (sweet) Fly Me to the Moon (entertaining) Superman (worth the trip to the theater) The Materialists (just ok but kept my attention) Naked Gun (want to see) TELEVISION Hunting Wives Netflix Untamed Netflix Stick Apple The Bear HBO Max Sirens Netflix The Better Sister Amazon Prime Mobland Paramont + Your Friends and Neighbors Apple TV Billy Joel Documentary HBO Max Billionaires Club CNN Live Aid Documentary CNN Jane Mansfield Documentary (My Mom Jane) HBO Max The Buccaneers Apple TV The Summer I turned Pretty Amazon Prime Too Much Netflix The Gilded Age HBO Pernille Netflix PODCASTS Smartless-always great interviews. The World's First Podcast with Erin and Sara Foster Good Hang with Amy Poehler Finally, Listen to any podcast that features Rabbi Steve Leder! He is the senior Rabbi Of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles. He is a brilliant and insightful speaker. He is uplifting and a pleasure to listen to. I am not religious, and I love this man! Google him in your podcast app-you'll thank me. Wishing you a Healthy and a Happy end of Summer. Listen to your body. Exercise Regularly. And take care of yourselves and your families. "You can have 1000 problems in your life until you have a health problem. Then you only have one. George Passas "Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the Soul." Douglas MacArthur "My physical body may be less efficient and less beautiful in old age. But God has given me an enormous compensation: my mind is richer my soul is broader and my wisdom is at a peak." Robert Muller PEACE OUT-ONE B

What's Your Pet Peeve

It's been a while since I've written. A foot sprain, some travel, PT for tennis elbow (I don't even play tennis!) and generally, life just keeping me busy. But, I've thought a lot lately about things that irk me. I'm sure you're not shocked to know I have many pet peeves! What exactly is the definition of a Pet Peeve? The dictionary defines a pet peeve as "something that a person finds especially annoying." After dealing with Doctors' offices, Insurance claims, travel in airports and 5 star hotels, buying a new phone-there are so many issues to discuss that irritate me. So here is my current list-Who knows? Tomorrow I might have ten more to complain about! 1) People picking their nose-ESPECIALLY in the car! Do they realize we can see through their windows? 2) Peeing on the toilet seat and not cleaning up after yourself. This goes for both women and men. 3) Not putting the toilet seat down after you pee. This is especially vexing in an airplane, a restaurant, and in hospital restrooms! Every man should be courteous in their own home as well. Totally unacceptable to not place the seat down after urinating. 4) Using your phone during a meal when your socializing with others. No reading, No texting, No calling! (Ok to google a unanimous question though!) I find it so rude when friends/family are paying more attention to their phone than to the company at the table. Shameful. 5) When calling your health insurance company to find out a benefit, a billing charge, or just ask a question-and getting 3 completely different answers to your question. AND, getting people in different countries, or who are working from home with dogs barking in the background. So Frustrating. 6) Calling your doctor's office and getting a call center who won't give you an appointment for 3-6 months. I want to talk directly to my doctor's office. There MUST be a number to push to be connected directly to the office. 7) Calling Customer Service and not getting a Human! Instead, there are prompts to go to a website or write an email complaint. Totally unacceptable. What is the point of having a customer service number if no one answers your call? 8) Going to a 5 star restaurant or hotel and they act like they're doing you a favor by helping you or letting you be there. 9) Loud chewers 10) Close talkers-don't get in my face! 11) Interrupters 12) Slow drivers in the left lane 13) Talking during the movies; having your phone out and lit up in the movies; texting during the movies. 14) Car Salesmen-Especially those who don't think a woman is capable of making a deal. And, not giving the best price right up front. If you want to make a deal with me, give me the best price first. Otherwise, I'm out of there and on to the next dealer. 15) The person next to you on the plane that uses both armrests, takes their shoes off, or snores. 16) Talking on the phone in public-i.e. walking on the track or in the park, shopping in the grocery store, and in a retail store. 17) Bad Tippers 18) a President who has the vocabulary of a fourth grader. Repetition of adverbs and adjectives cover his lack of knowledge. If I hear "really great", "very importantly", "huge", "millions and billions", "biggest ever", "tremendously" and "very nasty" one more time you'll need to peel me off the ceiling. My grandchildren have impressive verbal abilities that far exceed the President's (and they are 5,6,7,10, and 12!. He tries to cover up the fact that he has nothing intelligent to say. 19) Technology-I hate the Apple phone updates, the never ending texts and emails confirming appointments and taking surveys, emails that suddenly disappear, hulu asking me to sign in suddenly, the calendar that switches the time as I'm inserting the appointment... 20) People who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom 21) Chronic lateness-why is your time more valuable than mine? It shows a lack of respect. 22) Doctors who make you wait in the waiting room for 40-60 minutes. Then,when you are finally called into an examining room you have to wait another 30 minutes until your physician enters the room. So annoying!! By then my blood pressure is through the roof and they wonder why!! Now that I've got all of you pondering your pet peeves, I'll say goodbye! PEACE OUT-ONE B For those who celebrate Easter - Enjoy the holiday! For those who celebrate Passover-Wishing you a Zissen Pesach!

The Unspoken Rules of a Successful Relationship

As we approach Valentine's Day, I've been thinking about what makes a relationship work. Whether you are dating, engaged, married, or living together it takes a lot of effort to have a continuous loving bond. Many factors contribute to a long lasting alliance. First and foremost, you must communicate clearly, and really listen to what your partner is expressing. Do NOT deny or defend your behavior. Try to understand that if your partner is upset or sad about something, it is valid. PERIOD. Even if you don't think you committed an egregious act, listen to what the other person is expressing. And remember, that Yelling does not make your spouse or significant other hear you better. Have a calm discussion and try to compromise with one another and resolve the issues. FORGIVE and RESPECT one another; and value each other's input. ALWAYS APOLOGIZE-YOU ARE ALWAYS WRONG! Never say something you cannot take back or that you will regret. Your partner(spouse, fiance)will remember that comment forever. It will come back to haunt you in every argument; and it will come between you again and again. Everyone disagrees sometimes, but no matter how heated things get, NEVER call each other names. That's just basic respect. Be transparent at all times. Discussions about medical issues, money issues, work issues, friend issues, and children issues are necessary and should not be held back. Trust is crucial in a relationship and it is almost impossible to repair once its broken. If you love someone, you should not hold back any information. That is the worst way to approach a problem. No one wants to be shielded or protected from the truth. Rather, they want to help find a solution to the problem (which involves both of you). We need to ask, "how can I help?" Tell each other what you need, and don't assume the other person automatically knows what is needed. Don't take your children's side in front of them. If you disagree with your spouse or partner-do it privately. In other words, have a united front in front of the kids, and have an independent discussion later. Never put down your spouse in front of anyone: (friends/family). And, ESPECIALLY not to your parents. You may think it's okay to vent or it's funny, but it is not. And most importantly, if you are the one doing the listening-do not comment! Tomorrow the couple will be totally fine, and now they're pissed at you. Don't criticize your significant others parents, siblings, relatives-unless they initiate. And even then, they'll end up resenting your criticism at a later date. Try to remain silent-it's super hard.... Don't believe your spouse or partner when they say they need nothing or don't want a present. It doesn't have to be a big deal. The smallest gesture is appreciated (however, not a blender, toaster, or socks!). How about a love letter? Find a way to split chores. If one cooks, the other can do the dishes. If one does the laundry, the other can fold it. If one grocery shops, the other can unpack the groceries. Easy Peasy. Don't try to change each others basic character traits. You knew about them when you fell in love. In fact, those characteristics might have been the impetus for your initial attraction. Don't try to change your significant other. Let them SHINE! Couples should share values, morals, goals, and fun. Pursue your common interests. Travel, sports, music, literature, food, theater, current events, cards, movies.. Make time for each other as a couple to enjoy those interests-it's so important to take this time and enjoy one another. We never know what tomorrow brings. However, it is of utmost importance to plan for personal time as well. It is necessary to have independent hobbies and the freedom to do them without pressure or guilt from your partner. Physical Connection-Kiss, hold hands, dance, cuddle, touch, have sex-no one is ever too old and it's so crucial to have that physical bond. Whether you have been together for 48 years or for 3 years, honesty and empathy go a long way. Every couple is different and what worked for your great grandparents or your best friend may be the total opposite of what works for you and your significant other. Each long term relationship has its own secrets and love language. And, YES, Sometimes you will drive your partner crazy. But remember to have love, gratitude, compassion, laughs, fun, and sex. If you don't continually nurture those, you can't maintain a healthy and happy love connection. WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! PEACE OUT-ONE B

GOLDEN GLOBES; MOVIES I NEED TO SEE; AND YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS

BEST DRESSED 1) Anna Sawai-Winner of Shogun. Her leather Dior Bustier and Skirt were exquisite. Her hair and skin were perfection. And that Cartier necklace was beyond. Understated elegance. 2) Salma Hayek- The burgundy Gucci dress with a sequinned bodice and assymetrical train looked magnificent on her. I LOVED Lorrine Schwartz 300 carat emerald necklace. The contrast of colors complemented each other so well. I'm not a matchy matchy jewelry person. She should've eliminated the emerald cocktail ring and the emerald earrings and the green eyeshadow. That said, she still looked stunning. 3) Anya-Taylor Joy-Her vintage Dior gown combined with her hair and skin looked amazing. The Tiffany neckace with 64 carats of opals took my breath away. That necklace was EVERYTHING! I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Again, ditch the matching bracelet. Not necessary. 4) Demi Moore-Donning an Armani Prive metallic silk gown, she was one of my favorites. Her hair looked great; her body looked great; and the earrings and bracelet were lovely. 5) Zendaya-I always like her fashion choices. Her burnt orange Louis Vuitton gown paired with the 31 carat Bulgari paraiba and diamond necklace did not disappoint. She evoked Old Hollywood glamour. 6) Viola Davis-I can't leave her out. The recycled v-neck black sequinned Gucci gown was great. The striped multi-color cape looked fabulous. And, that hair was the finishing touch. I wish I could've partied with her at Studio 54! WORST DRESSED-OH, SO MANY... 1) Naomi Watts-From the neck up, she looked pretty. The Schiaperelli dress, however, was a total miss! A horrendous pink hem-ugh. 2) Nicole Kidman-Many will disagree, but her total look fell short. She is usually a best dressed pick for me. I didn't dig the Balenciaga gown, or her hair style, or her weird face work, or her Boucheron earrings. 3) Angelina Jolie-She consistently is the worst dressed. She needs a new stylist. The silver metallic Mcqueen gown missed the mark. BORING! 4) Cate Blanchett-The gold LV gown was unflattering and ill fitted. Enough said. 5) Selena Gomez- You can't argue that she looked classy and elegant in her ice blue Prada gown. But, I thought the off the shoulder Cinderella gown paired with her hair was very Jackie O and I wanted her to look more youthful and less matronly. 6) Dakota and Elle Fanning-Dolce and Gabbana red gown with a slit; Balmain champagne gown with a cheetah bodice: They looked like "ladies of the night". 7) Emma Stone-The haircut was ok. The dress was ok. Together nothing worked. Hated the look. JEWELRY WORTH A SECOND LOOK 1) Sarah Paulson-Wearing the Debeer diamond "Individuality" necklace which gave zebra vibes with black lacquer and 41 carats of diamonds. Normally, this wouldn't be my taste, but I thought it was cool. 2) Sofia Vergara-Generally, I dislike her dresses at all awards shows. However, her jewels were off the charts. She wore a 140 Carat diamond necklace with a 28 carat center marquis stone. The rings weren't too shabby-a 25 carat diamond on one hand and a 7 carat on the other hand. Be still my heart! MOVIES I NEED TO SEE (AFTER THIS AWARD SHOW) 1) LEE 2) CONCLAVE 3) ANORA 4) I'M STILL HERE (not the one with Joaquin Phoenix. The one with Fernanda Torres) 5) A DIFFERENT MAN 6) HERETIC 7) THE APPRENTICE 8) THE BRUTALIST 9) THE ROOM NEXT DOOR FRIENDS (an op-ed, sort of...) Throughout my early years and young adulthood I generally preferred hanging out with my guy friends. I wasn't a girl's girl. I didn't enjoy doing "girly" things. The guys kept it fun, easy, and simple. Sports and politics were the primary topics. Stick ball and kick the can on the street until late into the night was what I liked. With girls, there was often drama, some pettiness, and unnecessary gossip or mean behavior. As I got older, I had both girl and guy friends and I loved being with all types of people: the jocks, the hippies, and the intellectuals. I still didn't find talking about boys, fashion, hair, nails very exciting. (Okay, don't shame me! Above I've written an entire blog on fashion and jewelry and hair!!) But, things change. Life happens. Work happens. Marriage and kids happen. And as I've aged, I've come to recognize and value the worth of girlfriends. I truly cherish the times I spend with my girlfriends. (I'm still not a lady who likes to lunch or get a massage or have a spa day). With my friends I feel seen and heard. We can talk about everything. For example, sitting around a canasta table we jump from topic to topic: Children, Siblings, Books, Restaurants, Movies, Broadway Shows, Husbands, Pillow selections, Politics...I could go on forever. Nothing is off limits. With my friends, I can vent, cry, laugh, and confide my innermost secrets. The truth is that I, often, feel more at ease and less judged expressing my fears and (current) anxieties to friends rather than a family member. Rather than "poo poo" me, they listen, empathize, show compassion, and voice their opinions. My girlfriends provide me with their morals, intelligence, common sense, and humor. I don't want to keep it simple anymore. I want to go deep sometimes. I surround myself with people I care about and who care about me. And yes, these days I also enjoy talking about makeup, fashion, and jewelry! But, you already knew that! "FOR GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES I'LL BE ON YOUR SIDE FOREVER MORE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR" To the people in California-I feel for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you every minute. PEACE OUT-ONE B