ACCEPTABLE TOPICS AND TIME LIMITS (AT A MEAL, ON THE PHONE, WHILE SOCIALIZING)

Everyone has the honor of being young, but not all of us have the honor of growing old. As we age, not surprisingly, we obsess more about our health, longevity, our children, and our grandchildren. I began to think about what are the acceptable subjects we can discuss with our family, friends, clients, and acquaintances. 1)TALKING ABOUT OUR MEDICAL AILMENTS: I have a dear friend who suggests we can only speak of one body part for only 5 minutes, and then you must be done! It's a great rule. (Thanks, Scottie) 2)SHOWING PHOTOS OF YOUR GRANDCHILDREN: I always groaned when people pulled out numerous pictures of their grandchildren. However, now that I am "NONNI" to five magnificent grandchildren, I have become one of those obnoxious grandparents who love to flash photos in your face! A good rule of thumb is to only show one photo of each grandchild. BUT, only if someone makes the request. 3)BRAGGING OR TALKING ABOUT GRANDCHILDREN: Again, this is only acceptable if asked about them. THEN, you should limit it to 5 minutes! There is an exception however-if you have a new grandchild, you can show all the photos you want, and discuss the newborn for as long as you like-no limits exist! 4)VENTING ABOUT YOUR AGING(55-80)BUT GENERALLY HEALTHY PARENT(S): My feeling is that this is never acceptable to talk about with your friends. I think you can vent privately to your siblings or spouse. Try to remember that while they may be aggravating to you at the moment, your parents act out of love, always. And, you are extremely blessed that they are still around to occasionally annoy you! I wish mine were still here. 5)COMPLAINING ABOUT AILING OLDER PARENTS(80-100+); At a meal with contemporaries, there should be a 5 minute limit! On the phone, you can discuss for as long as you want. With your spouse, I think you should limit this topic to 5-10 minutes a day, and NEVER while being intimate! Many of us care for our parents on a daily basis. It's trying and mentally exhausting-I get it. But complaining gets old real quick. 6)VENTING ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY UPSET YOU BY WORDS, ACTIONS, OR INACTIONS: In my opinion, it is NEVER acceptable with friends. I'm okay with you complaining to your spouse, siblings, or sister/brother in laws! Maybe, it's occasionally permissable with your closest friends. 7)BRAGGING ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN: Never really acceptable at a dinner with friends unless they specifically inquire. With good friends, you do have a genuine interest in their children, and you sincerely want to hear about their lives. 8)WAXING POETIC ABOUT AN UPCOMING HAPPY EVENT OR OCCASION: This is always fine to discuss whenever and wherever for as long as you want with anyone who will listen! 9)DISCUSSING YOUR ANXIETY, DEPRESSION OR SADNESS: ALWAYS, ALWAYS ACCEPTABLE TO YOUR FRIENDS,SPOUSE, CHILDREN, RELATIVES, OR A PROFESSIONAL. NEVER HOLD BACK-EVER. 10)UPCOMING DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS: Generally, not acceptable at a meal with contemporaries. It doesn't make for great dinner conversation. Rather, it's totally cool with your besties either in person, on the phone, or while texting each other. 11)POLITICS: If you are with those who have similar political ideas, it is totally okay. If you are with those who have opposing views, don't broach current events-it will not go well. 12)LOOKING AT YOUR CELL PHONE OR TAKING CALLS: This is totally UNACCEPTABLE at a meal or an event. The exceptions are if you have a sick child or parent. Or if a babysitter needs to reach you. Looking at your cell phone or texting while you are socializing with others is rude and unnnecessary, unless it's for an emergency. 13)COMPLEMENTING SOMEONE: It is always acceptable to give someone a complement about clothes, shoes, accessories, physical appearance, job performance, their intellect, their kindness or generosity, their spouse, or their children. SO, IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT TO TALK ABOUT AFTER I'VE LIMITED YOUR TOPICS? BUT, OF COURSE! THERE'S ALWAYS: THE WEATHER YOUR UPCOMING TRAVEL OR RECENT TRIP SHOWS, CONCERTS, MOVIES, TELEVISION, LITERATURE, MUSIC ART, EXHIBITS, MUSEUMS HOBBIES CARDS, BRIDGE, MAHJONG RECIPES, FOOD, RESTAURANT RECOMMENDATIONS NEWS(EXCLUDING POLITICS AND RELIGION) THE STOCK MARKET TEAM SPORTS, PLAYERS, SCORES YOUR GOLF GAME, SKIING, TENNIS, PICKLEBALL CLOTHING AND ACCESSORIES "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears." John Lennon "If you're blessed enough to grow older,there's so much wisdom to be gained from people who are celebrating the process with vibrancy and vigor and grace." Oprah WISHING FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CELEBRATE: A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR. MAY YOU BE INSCRIBED IN THE BOOK OF LIFE. PEACE OUT-ONE B