'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY; OR IS IT?

As soon as Halloween approaches, we start to see commercials for Christmas! These spots always get me in an uproar. I am the original "Bah Humbug" Queen. I believe we have forgotten what the meaning of the season is truly about. We should be thinking about why we are blessed, and what we are grateful for. But, rather, the holidays have become more about which gifts to buy; how many people we need to buy for; and what is the appropriate amount we should be spending. Despite the commercials and ads, this time of year is not all about beautifully wrapped presents, and warm cashmere sweaters. This year, I am feeling profoundly sad and I am missing my Mom. Sorrow for my loss has slowly been creeping up on me. I have come to the realization that I am now an "orphan"- both my parents have passed, and this is the first holiday without either of them. And, I have also come to the scary truth(surrounded by many friends and acquaintances dealing with significant health issues)that I, too, am on the "back nine" and life is quite unpredictable. Lately, the expectations for the holidays between buying gifts, baking, cooking, and attending various functions seems somehow more overwhelming. In order to deal with all this, I have delegated tasks and I have started saying "no" if I am feeling too stressed. I do my best to put on a happy face and go about my day, but I am not always successful. I hope that family and friends understand, and are aware of the additional vulnerability and loneliness I am dealing with this year. No matter when you lose someone dear to you, whether they are young or old, loss equals pain. Even though a loved one is gone, your love does not die. I'm not going to lie-it's been a rough go for me. So what can I do to get beyond this funk? I try to exercise every day; eat healthy 95% of the time; and drink less alcohol, which is extremely hard during the party season! Sleeping more is also not an option for me, since I am totally incapable! Going forward, I will continue to keep the memories of my Mom and Dad alive by telling stories and sharing my memories about them. I want to honor and respect them always. Emotions are a funny thing: we can feel sad one moment, happiness the next, and guilt for something else all in a matter of seconds. Do not judge, and instead, try to be compassionate because one's life isn't always as it seems. This year I will try to focus on what matters most to me (family and friends) and I will try to ignore feelings of pressure to please everyone all of the time. It's not possible to please everyone, and it only leads to further anxiety and stress. Most of us have unrealistic expectations at this time of year which causes addiional disappointments. Rather, tell people what you need and maybe they will hear you. Unfortunately, this is not easy but keep trying. Most of all don't attribute intent to someone's behavior. It may not be about you. Another lesson I am trying hard to learn. Again, not easy! I wish all of you a joyful Holiday filled with Health and Happiness. Stay focused on what's important and cherish the worth of wonderful friends and family.... and not the worth of gifts given and received. PEACE, HEALTH, LOVE, HARMONY-ONE B