"Who Am I, and where have I been, and where am I going?" Carl Sandburg

This is the time of year for self reflection. Many of us vow to make New Year's resolutions and promise to keep them. We pledge to get rid of the clutter, exercise more, eat healthier, drink less, be kinder-the list goes on forever. The sad reality is we probably forget about these resolutions about a month into the New Year. Rather than make resolutions we can't keep, we should look back on the year/and our lives and ask what are our regrets? How can I do better? Can I be a more loving spouse, a better parent, can I perform better at my job, can I be a kinder, more compassionate friend? Do I continue to grow, learn, remain curious, try new experiences? Each of us experience events that alter our lives. Having a child or a grandchild, the loss of a job, or starting a new job, the illness of a parent of child, a friendship dissolves, the loss of a pet, children go off to college or get married, the death of someone close to you, the isolation of a pandemic-It doesn't matter what is different or has shifted. We just need to recognize that life experiences constantly change us, and we need to let those close to us, know it. Acknowledging these changes requires adaptation and reexamination. No matter our age; beliefs and values are always under construction. This is a good time to reintroduce yourselves to your partner or spouse. Fall in love all over again. Try to acknowledge the good things your partner does-what do you appreciate? It can be anything that makes you happy-did they plan a trip, pay the bills, take out the garbage, fold the laundry, make a dinner reservation pick up the cleaning.....Don't underestimate communicating your gratitude! It goes a long way in a relationship (whether it is being voiced to a friend, partner, spouse, work associate, or child). Many of us like consistency and feel safe. But others, feel trapped with too much consistency. There is a balance. Try new things. Reprioritize what we view as important and help others understand who we have become. Don't be afraid to express your fears, hopes, wishes, and dreams. Continue to grow at any age. Don't be complacent. Become a better version of who you are! "One of the greatest tragedies in life is to lose your own sense of self and accept the version of you that is expected by everyone else." K.L. Toth Wishing you a Fabulous 2023! Happy and Healthy New Year! PEACE OUT-ONE B

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY; OR IS IT?

As soon as Halloween approaches, we start to see commercials for Christmas! These spots always get me in an uproar. I am the original "Bah Humbug" Queen. I believe we have forgotten what the meaning of the season is truly about. We should be thinking about why we are blessed, and what we are grateful for. But, rather, the holidays have become more about which gifts to buy; how many people we need to buy for; and what is the appropriate amount we should be spending. Despite the commercials and ads, this time of year is not all about beautifully wrapped presents, and warm cashmere sweaters. This year, I am feeling profoundly sad and I am missing my Mom. Sorrow for my loss has slowly been creeping up on me. I have come to the realization that I am now an "orphan"- both my parents have passed, and this is the first holiday without either of them. And, I have also come to the scary truth(surrounded by many friends and acquaintances dealing with significant health issues)that I, too, am on the "back nine" and life is quite unpredictable. Lately, the expectations for the holidays between buying gifts, baking, cooking, and attending various functions seems somehow more overwhelming. In order to deal with all this, I have delegated tasks and I have started saying "no" if I am feeling too stressed. I do my best to put on a happy face and go about my day, but I am not always successful. I hope that family and friends understand, and are aware of the additional vulnerability and loneliness I am dealing with this year. No matter when you lose someone dear to you, whether they are young or old, loss equals pain. Even though a loved one is gone, your love does not die. I'm not going to lie-it's been a rough go for me. So what can I do to get beyond this funk? I try to exercise every day; eat healthy 95% of the time; and drink less alcohol, which is extremely hard during the party season! Sleeping more is also not an option for me, since I am totally incapable! Going forward, I will continue to keep the memories of my Mom and Dad alive by telling stories and sharing my memories about them. I want to honor and respect them always. Emotions are a funny thing: we can feel sad one moment, happiness the next, and guilt for something else all in a matter of seconds. Do not judge, and instead, try to be compassionate because one's life isn't always as it seems. This year I will try to focus on what matters most to me (family and friends) and I will try to ignore feelings of pressure to please everyone all of the time. It's not possible to please everyone, and it only leads to further anxiety and stress. Most of us have unrealistic expectations at this time of year which causes addiional disappointments. Rather, tell people what you need and maybe they will hear you. Unfortunately, this is not easy but keep trying. Most of all don't attribute intent to someone's behavior. It may not be about you. Another lesson I am trying hard to learn. Again, not easy! I wish all of you a joyful Holiday filled with Health and Happiness. Stay focused on what's important and cherish the worth of wonderful friends and family.... and not the worth of gifts given and received. PEACE, HEALTH, LOVE, HARMONY-ONE B

GETTING OLD AIN'T FOR THE FAINT OF HEART (MAE WEST)

Although Fall is my favorite season, I come to it each year with some mixed emotions. Every year at this time, I begin my scheduled yearly medical exams. As I approach my 68th birthday, I have just completed a series of gel shots for an ailing right knee that locks conservatively about 8-10 times a day. At the end of these shots, I did not have a lot of relief, so an MRI was requested. Not surprisingly, I have arthritis and "complex" meniscus tears due to old age. With no assurance that arthroscopic surgery could help the locking, I shall endure this issue for the time being. Next, was the first time comprehensive hearing test. The good news-my hearing is PERFECT! The bad news-I have negative pressure and my eustacian tubes are dysfunctional. WHATEVER... I'll take sudafed when I fly. After the hearing exam, I went through an intensive eye exam which lasted over two hours. Good News again-perfect eye sight, but bad allergies, and just continue with over the counter readers. The next appointment was to my Endocrinologist who monitors my osteoporosis, my sugar, my nine nodules in my neck, and prescribes Prolia shots that I get twice a year. My nodules have shrunk-HURRAY! Coming up: My annual Ob-gyn appointment, my annual physical with my internist; my annual visit to my cardiologist; and finally, my annual bone density and mammography. By the time I have completed all these examinations, it's spring again! Oh-I forgot to mention my 3 times a year dental cleanings, and my annual body scan with my dermatologist!! Ironically, U.S. News came out today with a report that all American adults under the age of 65 should be screened for anxiety disorders. The task force didn't recommend that seniors over 65 get screened since symptoms of anxiety and aging can overlap! How can we NOT be anxious? We are constantly dealing with waiting for our lab results, and sitting for hours in various doctor's waiting rooms? What happened to the time when we went to a doctor once a year for only our annual physical? Those days are long gone! I have a friend who says that we can only talk about one body part at a meal and then we must zip it! Despite all my complaining, I realize that getting older is better than the alternative. It is a benefit not afforded to everyone. And, in many cultures, old age is held in particularly high esteem. But, old age is rarely celebrated. The bottom line is that we can either view aging as an opportunity or a deficiency. I choose to view it as an opportunity. That being said, there are a few concerns I must express to you. For example, who will monitor the random hair growth on my face when I can no longer see it, or have hands that can't manipulate the tweezers? Or, will I be mistaken for a turkey at Thanksgiving when people are sitting across from my neck at the holiday dinner? And finally, who will help me locate my car in various parking lots after many minutes of searching? My hope is that my family and friends will not become frustrated with me, and will exhibit enduring patience. After all, this is the first time I've ever been old. I haven't yet had a chance to practice! But, first and foremost, I want to feel respected, loved and not alone. Isn't this what we all wish for - whether we are young or old? "If you're not getting older, you're dead. Tom Petty (he ought to know!) "So far about aging, despite the creakiness of one's bones and cragginess of one's once-silken skin, is this: DO IT. BY ALL MEANS DO IT. Maya Angelou "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln Wishing you all the most exquisite fall season! PEACE OUT-ONE B

"WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE. WE DIDN'T LIGHT IT BUT WE TRIED TO FIGHT IT."

Hot Summer No Rain Total Bummer Insane Covid Monkeypox World exploded Vaccine rocks Liz Cheney Gives a Damn Moral Lady Sacrificial Lamb Portier Hate Crimes Travel Delay Airport Lines Supreme Court Pro Choice Abortion Ban Use Your Voice Charlie Watts Robert Morse Insurection Plots A Fainting Horse Iran Ukraine Afghanistan Such Pain Ginni Thomas Cult Member Breaks Promise OFFENDER Climate Change Shark Bites Stock Exchange Knife fright Republicans Election Deniers Democrats Not Liars Anti Semitism Gas High Racism BYE BYE Donald Trump Fake News Orange Lump Need Booze Joe Biden Take Pride In Al Zawahiri Made World Weary N.Y. Mets On a high N.Y. Yankees Not so fly ENJOY THE END OF SUMMER. PEACE OUT-ONE B

WHY GOLF? AND WHY NOW?

I grew up surrounded by the game of golf. My Dad loved the game. He was an avid golfer who played 3-4 times a week for as long as I can remember. We belonged to Shackamaxon Country Club in Scotch Plains, and that is where he spent all his recreational time when he was away from his offices and his beloved patients. His swing was easy, fluid, and a pleasure to witness. And from the ages of 73-93, he was capable of shooting his age! Finally, very late in life, he got his first and only hole in one which was beyond exciting for him. My Mom and my sister also played and generally, they were consistent, respectable nine holers. I, however was satisfied to remain on the sidelines and never took up the game. People assume I know nothing about the game. But actually, I know more than they think. I understand golf etiquette, which club to use for my next shot, how to replace divots, all the golf terms, bump and run shots, and most importantly, to keep the game moving. When I first married my husband, who too, is a good golfer (lately, some days better than others!) and has been playing for over 60 years, I decided I might take up the game so that I could play with him. On my first outing with both my Dad and my husband, my Dad was relentless. Between him giving me lessons and constant criticisms, I came away dejected, deflated, and shaking. I put the idea of golf out of my head. As a perfectionist and a mom of two young children, I didn't feel I had extended periods of free time to practice and to play. But 40 years later, something magical has happened! I am now a grandma of five little ones ranging in ages from 10 to 3. Potentially, all 5 of these children will take up the game. Presently, two of my grandsons are learning to play and like the sport! This has become the impetus for me to take up golf once again. The thought of spending special time with each of these extraordinary children in a beautiful setting held tremendous appeal for me! With that goal in mind, I proceeded to schedule lessons, order a few clubs, and endure lots of black and blue wrists. If you ask me if I enjoy it, I'll smile and shrug my shoulders. The entire allure for me is based on spending quality time with my husband and grandchildren (and my children if they'll play with me!). I certainly don't like the clothes, the shoes, the heat, and the bugs; not to mention I can't pee behind a tree if nature calls! It's not the game itself that's drawing me in-it's the idea of who I'll get to be with while playing. AND THEN YESTERDAY HAPPENED! My husband and I had the honor and priviledge of taking my seven year old grandson out on the course. Neither he nor I were very good,(Owen showed great promise!) but it was one of the most memorable days in my life! Watching my husband with him, talking as we were walking to our next shot, discussing fescue, the "fringe" and why his friends love the 8th hole....We had the BEST time! I literally came off the course crying tears of joy-I thought to myself that I now had a reason to return to the course. It's spending time with the most special people in my life! What can be better than that?

SUMMER 2022 RECOMMENDATIONS

Surprise-even though I would like to vent, I've decided to ABORT that idea and give you some AMMO to BANG out your summer days... WHAT I'VE WATCHED OR WHAT I AM CURRENTLY WATCHING THE STAIRCASE-HBO MAX. Based on a true story, this is about the suspicious death(s) of Michael Peterson's wives. Starring Colin Firth and Toni Collette. I highly recommend. Mezmerizing. CANDY-HULU. A 1980'S perfect houswife isn't so perfect. Starring Jessica Biel who is terrific in this role. Thumbs up! HUSTLE-NETFLIX. Essentially "Rocky" in the form of a basketball movie. Not great, but good for kids and those who enjoy basketball movies. Adam Sandler and Queen Latifah star. FATHER OF THE BRIDE-HBO MAX. A remake of the original(s) but with a Cuban Spin. Andy Garcia and Gloria Estefan star. I liked it, but mainly because I am an Andy Garcia fan. But cheesy.. HALFTIME-NETFLIX. An excellent documentary about JLO and her life in the spotlight. Very good and enjoyable. THE GUILDED AGE-HBO MAX. If you haven't watched this, I highly recommend it. A Period drama during the 1880's with an amazing cast. Juicy, Fun, and well done. Great Series. ANIMAL KINGDOM-HULU. Now in its 6th season, I have watched this since the beginning, Originally, Ellen Barkin starred as the matriarch of a crime family. Although she is no longer in the show, I am still enjoying the series. This season(6) has started out well. If you feel like binging a show, this is quite good. And for the ladies, the male actors are hot. ON MY LIST TO WATCH GOOD LUCK TO YOU, LEO GRANDE-HULU. Retired widow Nancy hires a good looking young man to engage in sexual pleasure. Staring Emma Thompson. Looks like fun! KING OF TULSA-PARAMONT+. Starring Sylvester Stallone and created by Taylor Sheridan who does Yellowstone. Follows the Mafia Capo after he is released from prison. This doesn't premier until November 13, 2022. THE OLD MAN-FX.HULU. Story is about a CIA man who left the agency and lives off the grid. Starring Jeff Bridges. Looks interesting. I'm in! GASLIT-STARZ. A modern take on Watergate scandal in the 70's. Showcases untold stories and unknown characters who played a part in the crime. Starring Julia Roberts and Sean Penn. Sounds enticing. DARK WINDS-AMC. Takes place on an outpost of the Navajo Nation. A series of seemingly unrelated crimes are investigated by the police and the new deputy. All star cast. AMERICAN GIGOLO-SHOWTIME. Original series coming soon. Present day remake of the iconic film that had starred Richard Gere. Gretchen Mol and Rosie O'Donnell will star in this version. Drama, Romance, and Crime. What could be bad? MURDERS IN THE BUILDING-HULU. Now in its second season. Three strangers investigate mysterious deaths in their apartment building. Starring Martin Short, Selena Gomez, Steve Martin. I wasn't a fan of the first season. A little ho hum boring for me. Maybe I'll give it another go. MOVIES AND SHOWS TOP GUN:MAVERICK-I haven't seen it yet, but I hear it really delivers. Can't Wait. ELVIS-Also in theaters now. Austin Butler plays Elvis and after seeing him on all the late night shows doing promotion, I am stoked. He is the real deal! And Tom Hanks plays Tom Parker. Looks fabulous. THE STRANGE LOOP-On Broadway now, and supposedly the ticket of the season! About a Black, queer writer writing a musical about a Black Queer Writer. Rave Reviews-a must see. POTUS-On Broadway now. All star female cast in a story about a single day in the White House. RESTAURANTS I WANT TO TRY (mostly pizzarias!) AMORE PIZZA-NUTLEY. Jack Calandra gets rave reviews for his pizza. Supposed to be thin, crusty, and delish. BIVIO-MONTCLAIR. Individual pizzas and salads. Hard to get a res. Maybe takeout? PORTA-ASBURY PARK. A fun spot to try with the kids when you are down the shore. Vast menu and liquor license. AGRICOLA-MORRISTOWN. Farm to table menu. Looks like it's worth a try. DE PEPO-MONTCLAIR. Small venue. Basically pastas and salads with a few appetizers. I've heard wonderful reviews about their food. BYO WOLF-NORDSTROM IN NYC. Sharable small plates. Shop and then eat something! Looks fun. FASANO-NYC. Midtown's latest Italian, but you need to be on an expense account. VERY PRICEY. AQUILA PIZZA AL FORNO-LITTLE FALLS. BYOB. This place gets the BEST REVIEWS. Pizza looks so yummy. SANTILLOS-ELIZABETH. Supposedly great pizza and try the garlic bread with cheese. You can't eat here, so you literally need to scarf it down in your car while it's hot. I hear really good things about this joint. PRODUCT RECOMMENDATIONS FOR HOT DAYS ERIC JAVITZ-You can't go wrong with the hats and bags from this line. Perfect in every way, these straw totes and hats are great for the pool and beach. Many items are on sale. ericjavits.com PLINKS-These ice cube molds come in letters and shapes! Great for summer parties on your deck! $24.95 for one large Capital letter. Add them to your gin, vodka, scotch, and tequila. drinksplinks.com ILLESTEVA SUNGLASSES-Really beautiful sunglasses for men and women. They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. So much cooler than any of the "designer" swag. illesteva.com BESTLAND HAIR FINISHING STICK-This looks like a mascara wand. You apply it to fly aways, frizzies, tidies up small stray hairs when you want to put your hair in a ponytail or bun after the beach or on a hot day. You can purchase it on Amazon and it's only $5.99. Throw it into your Eric Javitz tote! Enjoy the Summer! PEACE OUT-ONE B

IF YOU ONLY HAD A BRAIN/A HEART/THE NERVE

A BRAIN Laura Ingraham, of Fox News, recently suggested there is a link between marijuana and mass shootings. She believes that guns are not the issue. Rather it is "pot psychosis" that is the cause of people continually slaughtering others with AR-15's. She states she would rather "operate in the real world." I think SHE must be high on something. Seriously, has anyone checked her mental health? After seeing that clip, Whoopi Goldberg quipped that a stoned individual isn't likely to carry an assault rifle, and wouldn't be capable of shooting one! Whoopi goes on to say that even if they owned a gun, they wouldn't remember where they stored it. Other Republicans feel there is too much Porn and violent video games in our society today. These are causing the mass shootings. Or, maybe, it's because we don't teach moral values or we "took God out of school". These issues, they believe, can cause someone to become troubled and want to kill. Why are you all not thinking clearly? Admit the obvious. Yes there are troubled individuals, but guns kill people. There are too many guns and not enough safety measures in place preventing the purchase of weapons by sane and troubled individuals. This is a fact. Period. A HEART Many Republicans offer prayers and condolences to the families who have lost loved ones. They have been saying the same words since Columbine (1999). Their suggestions about enhancing the physical security of schools, securing limited entry points, allowing teachers and school officials to carry firearms are mere distractions from the real problem. Lindsay Graham, Marco Rubio, Mitch McConnell, Mo Brooks-you are heartless. Your opinions on mass shootings are hypocritical. For people who vigorously oppose Roe V. Wade, and who insist they are pro life-how can you allow so many deaths? How can you not support some type of gun reform? Arming teachers and school administrators is insane and not the answer. WE DO NOT NEED DOOR CONTROL. WE NEED GUN CONTROL. Your behavior exemplifies that your love for guns is greater than your love for children. Until one of you is directly affected by a family member of yours being shot, I fear you will not change. And only then, will it be too late. For all those that have lost family members, it is already too late. Have some RACHMONES. THE NERVE Very Few Republican leaders have had the courage to speak up. They fear they will lose elections. It seems that Republicans who are not running again are willing to speak out. Adam Kinzinger, of Illinois, said he is open to supporting a federal ban on AR 15 rifles. Toomey, who is retiring, would also support an assault weapons ban. Chris Jacobs, who is not retiring, caused quite a stir when he announced that he would support a weapons ban. These individuals believe, correctly, that we must mitigate 18 year olds from buying guns and they recognize that their party is not helping to enact laws that will do that. Hopefully, other Republicans will gather their NERVE(and courage) to speak the truth and help create laws to prevent more mass shootings. America must become a decent and responsible Society. Ten years after Sandy Hook, elections matter. Mass shootings are at a pace we have never seen before. We cannot become numb and look away. Our children need to be safe. We need to be safe. Schools are scary, malls are scary, grocery stores are scary, movies are scary. I am constantly looking for exit signs. How can we continue to live like this? Despite the lyrics in that Beatles song, "Happiness is NOT a warm gun". Happiness is a safe child who goes to school in the morning and comes home in the afternoon. "Happiness can really be measured by the distance between what you expect from any given situation and what you really get." Until we create a safe environment for our children, we will not and cannot be happy. The only way to shorten that distance, is to change our reality. We need to make our world a better place. VOTE THIS WEEK. IT MATTERS. PEACE OUT-ONE B

Americans and Their Short Term Memory

These days I am experiencing a lot of anxiety and depression. The actuality of losing my Mom has finally sunk in. And honestly, the past few weeks have been rough. Mother's Day was especially hard because I ended up spending it all alone. Our plans were blindsided by Covid-several family members were hit and needed to remain in isolation. Poof-our family's dinner went up in smoke! As a news junkie, my depression and anxiety continue to escalate. I have concluded that we, America, have a serious flaw. It's called short term memory. Let's consider the war in Ukraine, the Domestic terrorists who believe Tucker Carlson and false manifestos; the mass shootings frequently happening in cities, schools and supermarkets; the constant Asian, Black, and Jewish hate crimes; the probability of overturning Roe v Wade; and finally, the January 6th insurrection (which the entire world witnessed in real time). At first we were angry, frustrated, upset, and hopeful that somehow we can effect change. But, then, eventually, after charitable donations or volunteering, we go back to our own lives and slowly push these issues out of our minds. The fatigue we are all experiencing is understandable and palpable. Between the never ending pandemic and the political insanity inciting so much hate, divisiveness, and a real threat to our democracy, we prefer to bury our heads in the sand. I get it! The daily news is harrowing. How much can we take? We are exhausted. If you check Google, you will discover that the quantity of searches on Covid or the war in Ukraine have significantly dwindled. When these issues don't directly affect us in a negative way, eventually we choose to ignore them. For example, if we escape nuclear war with Russia, and if the stock market remains stable, or if it wasn't your community that experienced a hate crime, then it's easier to go about your "normal" day. It used to be that car accidents were the leading killer of children and youth. Now it is gunfire. Republicans want to "save the children." Until you point out to them how many children are being killed by guns. Then, they say whatever... When cars were dangerous, the car industry did research on how to make the auto industry safer. Seat belts and air bags were implemented. The gun industry literally has safer options at their "fingertips". Fingerprint readers can be built into the grips of handguns and rifles. Radio Frequency Identification can be enacted. This unlocks the gun only if you wear a specific ring or bracelet that is registered to the legal owner. But the NRA and the Republicans refuse time and again to even consider these options. Or how about requiring the gun companies to be liable for gun deaths? Do you realize there are more guns in the U.S. than there are people? The more guns there are and the lack of incentives to secure them safely; the more deaths there will be. Do you know that 25 states in the U.S. allow ANYONE to carry a concealed gun without background checks and no permit, REGARDLESS of their criminal history? People often blame the police for unwarranted shootings of inocent people. And very often it is the Police who are at fault. But, in addition to proper law enforcement, I also think EDUCATION is key. We must teach children from an early age (at the dinner table and in school) that racism and hate is unacceptable. We must allow Black history and the Holocaust to be explained and taught in every state. We must allow sex education in schools as well. We must tell children the dangers of guns. Our children and grandchildren will not be scared. They are capable of handling all of this information. They must not be shielded from reality. And most importantly, we should teach our children that lying is NEVER acceptable. We all have a responsibility to educate the residents and youth in our communities: in both our schools and in our religious institutions. As far as the ban on abortions and reversing Roe V Wade-it is an uncomprehensible thought! How is it that our children and grandchildren will not have the choice to decide what they can or cannot do? I believe the ban will happen and it is sickening. Will they end the morning after pill, birth control, same sex marriage? The lack of legal abortion will not stop abortion. It will just increase unsafe back alley abortions. So what is it that we can do to ensure this will not happen? While protests educate and make our voices heard, they are not going to change the Supreme Court Decisions. Going to the front lawn of a supreme court justice will not sway their decision. There is really just one option. WE MUST ALWAYS GO OUT AND VOTE! In both primaries and in the regular elections. We must come from the cities, the suburbs, and the rural areas. Everyone must vote for the candidates who support their values and ideals. We need to become once again an inclusive and kind Democracy. We have the right to free speech in America, but we have to implement a way to stop the spread of hateful propaganda and false conspiracy themes. For my Republican friends, you must hold your senators and congressman accountable for their lying about the January 6th insurrection. It seems to me that these men and women really do have short term memory issues and should never be supported or reelected. There must be moral and ethical Republicans who are deserving of the honor (think Liz Cheney, Mitt Romney, and the late John McCain). Do they not remember cowering on the floor, fearing for their lives, and blaming Trump on that infamous day for the insurrection? Does Pence not remember? How can we accept their hypocrisy...Why is no one from the Republican party speaking the truth? We are all suffering from some degree of fatique. However, we must resist the temptation to bury our heads in the sand. Teach the truth and live the truth. Please encourage anyone and everyone to vote for upstanding, kind, truthful and morally acceptable humans regardless of your political affiliation. SORRY FOR THE RANT-but I think I actually feel a tiny bit better... PEACE OUT-ONE B

2022 Oscars Recap

Let me start off by saying that the Oscars are my Superbowl! The fashion, the jewels, the plastic surgery, the politics, and THE DRAMA.... In my previous blog, I predicted the winners of 6 categories. And I am amazed to announce that I guessed all of them correctly! And now, for the recap. Let's start with the fashion. BEST DRESSED Penelope Cruz-My choice for best dressed! I loved the taffeta Chanel black gown, the fit, the open back and the metallic tweed neckline. Her hair and earrings completed the look. She was magnificent! Zoe Kravitz-Donning an iconic Audrey Hepurn look, her pale pink Saint Laurent Dress and the pink and white 36 carat oval diamond necklace from Kwiat were perfection. Zendaya-This is my girl! Pure beauty and elegance. Her Valentino shirt and sparkling skirt were exquisite. She paired her outfit with stacks of Bulgari viper bracelets and necklace. I loved the total look. Rachel Zegler-Great haircut and a fabulous sheer Dior black dress. Her vintage Tiffany choker completed the outfit. She looked amazing. WORST DRESSED Jada Pinkett Smith-I know it's couture by John Paul Gautier, but I hated it. Sue me. She looked like a peacock with her tiny head and never ending green feather-like train. Didn't like the earrings either. Tracy Ellis Ross-Usually, she is one of the best dressed at these award shows. But, not last night.The Carolina Herrera red dress with its plunging sweetheart necklace revealed too much sagging boob. No one was interested in seeing that...EVER. Kristen Stewart-The custom Chanel Satin shorts and blazer didn't do it for me. But I must admit I did like the Chanel necklace that took the place of a tie. Serena and Venus Williams-I really didn't care for either of their dresses. Serena in pink and black Gucci with a low wide neckline did not look her best, and the black platform shoes were clunkers. Venus wore a white Elie Saab gown and experienced a nip slip during the evening! Way too much boobage. Billie Eilish- Traditionally, she holds the award for worst dressed. Never gets it right. This Gucci number was horrid! She looked as if she was wearing one enormous black ruffled curtain-an elephant could have lived under that dress. I also thought the song she won the Oscar for, was terrible. She is no Shirley Bassey! FACES-GOOD AND BAD Rosie Perez-She looks more beautiful now than she did thirty years ago. Whoever did her facelift and makeup knocked it out of the ballpark. She looks the best ever! Reba Mcentire-There's not a wrinkle on her face. Lots of plastic surgery and botox. Not sure I dig the look though. Too artificial. Nicole Kidman-Beautiful skin. Porcelain white. However, there is way too much botox injected in that face. But I loved her red lip, her red nails, and the color of the gown. (I didn't like the gown though). THE DRAMA Finally, the interesting part of the evening. I have to say that after Will slapped Chris I couldn't wait to read the synopsis. Waking up this morning was like waking up on Christmas Morning! First, I think I know a lot about pop culture and I am very aware of Jada Pinkett Smith's extramarital affairs, of her drug and alcohol addiction, and their open marriage. However, I did not know she suffered with alopetia. Nor do I think Chris Rock did! Next point-You are sitting in the front row and you have been in show business for years. You clearly know that comics are paid to joke about the stars in the audience. So, Suck it up. You even laughed at the joke, Will! But suddenly seconds later it was offensive to you and your wife? FYI-Calling someone GI Jane is a complement in my book. Who wouldn't want to look like Demi Moore? Her body and face (with no hair) looked beyond amazing in that movie. And, if you were that unhappy with the joke, you could have used words (and not cursed) to let Chris Rock know of your dissatisfaction: either during the segment or at the end of the evening. It wasn't just the slap that was inapproapriate. Equally offensive was Will cursing at Chris Rock. In no way is assault and violence an appropriate response- EVER. If this had been Amy Schumer telling the joke, would Will Smith have walked on stage and slapped her? I sincerely doubt it. If this had been a random guest in the audience, attempting to walk onto the stage and hit Chris Rock, they would have been removed and apprehended instantly. Why does he get preferential treatment? Supposedly, the producers of the show were in a quandry as to how to proceed. ANYONE else would have been physicallt removed from the venue. But, they allowed Will Smith to go up on stage and accept his Oscar. And when he got up there to accept his award, he gave the performance of his lifetime. It was an insane speech and verging on bipolar....A VESSEL OF LOVE? A protector to people he cares about? He was unhinged. In fact, He claimed he was defending his wife. Well guess what? He never even mentioned her or thanked her in his speech! First and foremost, as soon as he walked onto the stage, he should have apologized to Chris Rock, the academy, and his fellow actors. He NEVER apologized to Chris Rock. Did you see Venus and Serena? They were horrified by his behavior. Or how about Lupita Nyongo? or Nicole Kidman? Everyone was aghast. But they sat quietly and did not call him out for his rude behavior. Appalling.... I bet you didn't know that Chris Rock was bullied as a kid. Will Smith is the epitome of a bully. That must have been a daunting moment for Chris Rock. He will need years of therapy! Will Smith wrote in his book was that his biggest failure was not defending his mother against his physically abusive father. Why then does he find it now acceptable to foster physical abuse on anyone? Why do you suppose he used an open hand and not a fist? Was it premeditated? In that brief moment, Will Smith succeeded in continuing the false stereotype that Black Men cannot control their anger. Shame on him. Zack Bornstein on Apple News Printed last night: BREAKING: Will Smith Being Sent to Live with Aunt and Uncle in Bel-Air! Kudos to Chris Rock who handled the situation with dignity and grace (which is more than I can say for the silent audience). I truly feel sorry for the people who won awards following this incident. Will Smith ruined the night for them-a night they waited a lifetime for. Poor Quest Love and Jane Campion. As far as the trio of comediennes who hosted. I thought Amy Schumer crushed it. Wanda and Regina-not so much. Let's talk about the doo wop gospel musical number during the memoriam of people we lost this year. Was this a bit odd or is it just me? Wasn't it supposed to be a somber moment? Or what about Jamie Lee Curtis coming out on the stage holding a dog in memory of Betty White? It was cray cray. Enough of my venting. Here's what I'm reading next, watching next, or have watched recently. Books on my Nightstand: ORDINARY GRACE by William Kent Kruger THE LINCOLN HIGHWAY by Amor Towles CROSSROADS by Franzen THE VANISHING HALF by Brit Bennet THE SENTENCE by Louise Erdrich What I've Watched: Bridgerton-finished the new season. ho hum boring... Life and Beth-if you like Amy Schumer, then you'll like this. The Girl Before-psychological thriller. I liked this! Bad Vegan-very good. About the restaurant Pure Food and Wine in NYC. What I'll watch next: Candy-Hulu The Flight Attendant-season 2 HBO MAX 4/21 Drive my Car-HBO MAX We Crashed-Apple Tv+ The Dropout-Hulu The Adam Project-Netflix The Offer-Paramount Plus 4/28 The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent-new Nicolas Cage Movie in theaters 4/22 (100% on Rotten Tomatoes)

One b's Oscar picks 2022

BEST PICTURE Belfast, Coda, Don't Look up, Dune, King Richard, Licorice Pizza, Nightmare Alley, The Power of The Dog, Tick,Tick...Boom!,and West Side Story are the nominees. I have seen most of these. I have not seen Dune, and I shut off Nightmare Alley, because it was very dark. I watched a portion of the new West Side Story but I loved the original, so I wasn't into the new one. Anyhow, I believe the WINNER will be CODA. However, I think the Oscar should go to The Power of The Dog. Don't miss Belfast and King Richard. Both are very good. BEST DIRECTOR The nominees: Paul Thomas Anderson-Licorice Pizza Kenneth Branagh-Belfast Jane Campion-The Power of The Dog Hamaguchi-Drive My Car Denis Villeneuve-Dune My pick here is JANE CAMPION for The Power of The Dog. BEST ACTOR Benedict Cumberbatch-The Power of The Dog Peter Dinklage-Cyrano Andrew Garfield-Tick,Tick...Boom! Will Smith-King Richard Denzel Washington-The Tragedy of Macbeth. WILL SMITH will win the Oscar for Best Actor. But I have to say, Cumberbatch and Garfield were amazing to watch. BEST ACTRESS Nominees: Jessica Chastain-The Eyes of Tammy Faye Olivia Colman-The Lost Daughter Kristen Stewart-Spencer Nicole Kidman-Being the Ricardos Penelope Cruz-Parallel Mothers I didn't see Parallel Mothers. Kidman was horrible in Being the Ricardos. Stewart was worse in Spencer. Coleman was amazing in The Lost Daughter(she is always amazing), but it was a dark, weird flick. That leaves JESSICA CHASTAIN for The Eyes of Tammy Faye. She did a terrific job. In my humble opinion, it is very disappointing that Lady Gaga wasn't nominated for House of Gucci. For me, she is the clear winner and deserves the Oscar for Best Actress. Gaga is the real deal-she was fabulous! BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE Nominees: Kirsten Dunst-The Power of The Dog Ariana DeBose-West Side Story Jessica Buckley-The Lost Daughter Aunjanue Ellis-King Richard Judi Dench-Belfast I think it's a toss up between Ellis in King Richard and Judi Dench in Belfast. Ellis should win but guess what? The Oscar will go to ARIANA DEBOSE for West Side Story! BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE Nominees: Ciaran Hinds-Belfast Troy Kotsur-Coda Kodi Smit-McPhee-The Power of The Dog Jesse Plemons-The Power of The Dog J.K. Simmons-Being The Ricardos Who do I think should win? Actually, Jared Leto is the most deserving for House of Gucci. Leto, was snubbed in this category. He was beyond magnificent. That being said, Kodi Smit-McPhee in The Power of The Dog or Ciaran Hinds in Belfast are next on my list. Neither will get the Oscar. It will go to TROY KOTSUR for Coda. And he too, was extraordinary. Okay everyone, Order your pizza or Chinese food for dinner this Sunday! You must be home in time for the Red Carpet! You can either tune into ABC or E at 6:30. The jewels and fashion on The Red Carpet are the best part of the evening. I'll get back to you on my favorites after the Oscars air. I'm looking forward to Amy Schumer, Wanda Sykes, and Regina Hill hosting-they should be hysterical. Before I sign off, I want to give a major shout out to mis tres amigas who connect with me in the morning and often through out the day. Your texts have brought happiness and a smile to my face each morning (even when you perform better than me in Wordle). I kmow you have my back, as I do, yours. "The way I loved them felt like it was from long ago." (Jenny Slate) And as the beloved Madeleine Albright (may she rest in peace) said: "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Thank you ladies-you bring sunshine into my life! Peace Out-One B

Pay It Forward

The other day I decided to have some "shopping therapy". That is a time when I actually don't need a thing, but every so often, due to various issues or stresses, I take the day and go to the mall. I turn off my phone, I go into a zillion stores, and shop till I drop. Usually, I come away with nothing or just an item or two. But,at the end of the shopping expedition, I have cleared my head and I am ready to face the world again. It's easy to spend small amounts of money these days since all the clothes look they came from third world countries! And if I see one more "jogger pant" or tie dye sweatsuit, I might actually vomit. But enough commentary on fashion and back to my story. As I was entering the mall I noticed a young(er) (than me) woman who parked in a handicapped space. She had several packages and a cane. As she started walking towards the entrance, I noticed it was not easy for her to balance the cane and negotiate her packages with her unsteady gait. I ran over to her and asked if I could help her get to her destination. She was so incredulous (and probably a bit suspect that a stranger would approach her to help. But, she was also very grateful and accepted my offer. When I found out her destination was pretty far from where she had parked, I was so happy that I could help out. Walking slowly and deliberately, we chatted. Now all she had to manage was her cane. As I carried her items, we exchanged names and other details about each other. I found out that she is a resident of Newark and had been in law enforcement there. I thanked her for her service and she told me that her injury was a traumatic injury related to her job as a policewoman. She had been blessed and lucky to have kept her leg and said she was doing the best she could. When I got her settled at the store, she said "Miss Debie, I want to thank you for all your help" and we said our warm goodbyes. As I walked away, my heart was bursting and my mind was swirling. This was, in fact, a day of much needed therapy for me. First and Foremost, it reminded me how blessed my own life is. Secondly, it illustrated how the smallest act can make the biggest difference to someone. You don't have to be rich or powerful to make a difference in people's lives. There are many ways to be helpful besides being charitable with money. What acts can we all do as an ordinary person to pay it forward? 1)Spend some time with the elderly-visit someone in assisted living, the hospital or a neighbor down the street. Often when I visit with my mom at her assisted living facility, I stop and chat with some of the residents. Many of the people do not have family close by and rarely have visitors. They love to tell you their stories. Talking with them makes them feel that someone cares; that they matter; and it always puts a smile on their faces. 2)Give your seat up (on the subway, train, or bus) to someone who needs it more than you do. 3)At the grocery store, "loan" people money if they don't have enough for all the items they have on the counter. 4)At the local coffee shop or drive-thru burger spot, Pay for the people in front or behind you "just because". 5)Many times through out the year, I write notes to the Assisted Living Facility my Mom resides in, a club I belong to, a salon, a Doctor's office, etc. These notes are written to the owners, doctors, or powers that be in praise of their various members of the staff (by name). More than once this recognition has resulted in a promotion or pay increase for an individual. And believe me, that can be life changing and motivating. 6)Take your leftovers from a restaurant and offer to hand them off with a couple of dollars to a homeless person on the street. 7)Welcome a new neighbor with dinner or some baked goods. 8)Drive an elderly neighbor to the Doctor or store. 9)Visit and play with animals at a pet shelter. 10)Donate clothes and toys to a homeless shelter. 11)Hold the door of an elevator or open the door for the person walking in front of you or behind you. Opportunities exist everywhere and everyday-You just have to look for them and most of all, you must be willing to help a total stranger. Not only will this brighten someone else's mood, but it puts you in a great mood as well. The thrill of paying it forward it that you do something really good for someone who did not at all expect this act of kindness. Winston Churchill said, " We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give." PEACE OUT-ONE B HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

FEBRUARY DIVERSIONS

Looking for ways to fill your time on these cold winter days and nights? Here we go... PODCASTS TO LISTEN TO WHILE EXERCISING OR DRIVING SMARTLESS-Hosts Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett banter with a special guest each episode. The guests are funny, but the hosts are hilarious. Start with the Stephen Colbert interview and then listen to Conan O'Brien's. LITERALLY-Rob Lowe also does interviews with famous people. Lowe is bright, engaging, and a great interviewer. Who Knew? He interjects great stories about his life while doing interviews. Listen to Tiffany Haddish first. Then, go on and listen to David Crosby's interview. MOVIES THE TENDER BAR-This is my movie pick of the year. Loved every minute! Surprisingly, Ben Affleck gives an outstanding performance. George Clooney directed this coming of age movie and did a fabulous job. Don't miss it! Available on Amazon Prime. THE POWER OF THE DOG-Directed by Jane Campion. This is a slow moving dark story with great character development. Have patience, and stay awake, because it's actually quite good. Starring Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, and Benedict Cumberbatch who all give stellar performances. Available on Netflix. HOUSE OF GUCCI-Ridley Scott directed this movie and I loved every minute! The movie has gotten very mixed reviews. Gaga, Al Pacino, Jared Leto and Adam Driver give fabulous performances. Gaga deserves an academy award for her amazing portrayal of Patrizia Gucci! Totally entertaining flick with great fashion and scenery. Available on Amazon Prime. MUNICH THE EDGE OF WAR- Europe is on the brink of war and the plot is about the 1938 Peace Agreement between Germany and England. The story is relayed from the viewpoint of the Prime Minister of England and two former Oxford graduates. A combination thriller and historical drama, it's not completely accurate. That being said, I liked it. Jeremy Irons as Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain, gives a strong performance. Available on Netflix. LICORICE PIZZA-Paul Thomas Anderson directed this 1970's movie set in the San Fernando Valley. The movie got decent reviews, which I can't understand. I couldn't wait to see it, and yet, I was totally disappointed. It's disjointed and goes nowhere. For me, the only redeeming part of the movie was the awesome soundtrack featuring David Bowie, Donovan, Sonny and Cher, McCartney, Nina Simone, and Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood. And, Cooper Hoffman (Phillip Seymour Hoffman's son) does an excellent job as the star of the film. Only in theaters. DON'T LOOK UP-A dark satire about climate change and an impending comet that will destroy the earth. Despite its all star cast, the reviews were not great. Climate change seems to be quite controversial these days! I thought it was terrific and highly entertaining. Do not shut the film off till it is COMPLETELY done with the credits. The film has two additional scenes which are very funny and they occur about 15 minutes after you think the movie has ended. Totally recommend. Available on Netflix. THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH-Joel Coen directs this rendition starring Denzel Washington and Frances McDormand.Great reviews and an Oscar contender. I haven't watched it yet, but supposedly Coen has provided us with one of the best versions of this story. The characters are multi-layered; the black and white cinematography perfection; and his interpretation of the story is gettting raves. Can't wait to see it. On Apple+. SUNDOWN-Away on a family vacation, a call comes in telling the family a tragedy has occured and they must return home. Tim Roth stars in this film that delves into selfishness and nihilism. I'm curious. In theaters only. WHAT TO BINGE ON TELEVISION If you haven't watched YELLOWSTONE, start! You will not be disappointed! Costner and his supporting cast are terrific. Paramont +. If you are a fan of YELLOWSTONE, then you should tune in to 1883 which is a prequel to Yellowstone. Real life couple Tim McGraw and Faith Hill star. Haven't watched it yet. Also on Paramont +. Getting good reviews. OZARK-Season 4 is out and I loved it! Julia Garner is the new "it" girl these days. She is phenomenal! Jason Bateman and Laura Linney are terrific and I strongly recommend this series. This is the only series my husband has ever watched with me... that's saying a lot! On Netflix. INVENTING ANNA-Shonda Rhimes created this series which is being released on February 11th. The plot is about Anna Delvey, an heiress, who stole money from the elite society of New York. Julia Garner from Ozark stars as Anna. On Netflix. THE WOMAN ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE GIRL IN THE WINDOW-Kristin Bell stars in this funny comic thriller. Bell is mourning a loss and drinks too much. Bad things happen-did she really see something or did she imagine it in a drunken stupor? Watch and see! I liked it-entertaining. On Netflix. THE GILDED AGE-Christine Baransky and Cynthia Nixon star in this 1880's period piece. Old money versus the noveau riche, poverty, unemployment, sexuality, and corruption are themes they explore. So far it is excellent. HBO Max. AND JUST LIKE THAT-the Sex and the City cast return but now they are in their 50's! So much fun to watch. SJP looks great and her wardrobe is beyond.... Poor Big...Poor Steve...HBO Max. AS WE SEE IT-An interesting series on the lives of young adults on the spectrum. The issues they have navigating their feelings, their jobs, and their friends are very realistic and compelling. Excellent. On Amazon Prime. HOW I MET YOUR FATHER-Hillary Duff stars in this sitcom about a group of friends. Kim Cattrall didn't return to AND JUST LIKE THAT but she shows up here! Cute,silly,mindless,and easy to watch. On Hulu. SEX LIVES OF COLLEGE GIRLS-Created by Mindy Kaling, this sitcom follows four 18 year old roommates at a college in Vermont. Kids will love it. And, if college was one of the best times of your life, then I am sure you will love it too! Such fun....HBO Max. THE OFFER-Coming in April. Al Ruddy's series on the making of The Godfather. Armie Hammer dropped out due to his sex scandal and Miles Teller takes his place. Has an all star cast and looks intriguing. Paramount+. HACKS-One of the best shows of 2021! Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder have such great chemistry as a Las Vegas comedian and her 25 year old comedy writer. Each episode surpassed the previous one. Season 2 coming soon. HBO Max. THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL-Season 4 will drop February 18th. Everyone loves this series. I wasn't as enamored with season 3. The series was repetitive and couldn't top it's first 2 seasons. We'll see. Amazon Prime. SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE-Bridgett Everett and Jeff Hiller star in this quirky comedy drama. You will either love this or hate it-no in between. I happen to think the Everett and Hiller are exceptional. Heartwarming and sad all at the same time. HBO Max If you don't feel like binging, there's always the Winter Olympics starting tonight! And then the Superbowl o February 13th! Now you will need some nourishment for the Superbowl...Pizza or Sloppie Joes? Pizza recommendations: Sloppie Joes Tony D's-Caldwell Town Hall-Home of the Original! South Orange Angeloni's-Caldwell Nana's Deli-Livingston Star Tavern-Orange Tony Boys-Livingston Arturo's-Maplewood Livingston Bagel-Livingston Razza-Jersey City Aquila-Little Falls Nonna's-Florham Park Mamma Dags-West Orange Santillo's-Elizabeth Desserts Nola's-Garwood Blue Steel-Bloomfield Palazzone 1960-Italian Pastries. Wayne DP's-Garfield Crowley Cupcakes-(Snickerdoodle)Madison Pizza Vita-Summit Montclair Bread Company-(maple bacon donut)Montclair The Committed Pig(red velvet fried oreo)Summit Sugarlip Donuts(Mr.Cook E. Crunch)Madison Sorrentos-(everything!)East Hanover Saltedbakeshop.com-(yummy cookies)West Orange Donut Plant-(best donuts ever)New York Happy Valentine's Day! PEACE OUT-ONE B

LIES AND LAUGHTER

Originally, I planned to write this blog on the power of laughter. I WILL get to that, but my attempts at thinking positive thoughts have been interrupted by a nagging issue that eats away at me. Something has changed in our society. My question to all of you: Why has lying become acceptable in our country? What happened to our sense of morality? Why do we not value honesty anymore? Why have alternative facts(lies) become the norm? From the earliest age, we are taught to tell the truth. My parents told me that no matter how bad I thought the truth was, they would never punish me if I was honest. But today, fearing the consequences of lying no longer seems to have any impact. I am not just referring to politics. To me, this is solely about our expectations of society's behavior. Telling the truth is not an unreasonable expectation, nor is it unattainable. So why do people lie? There are many reasons: Preservation of self image or reputation, avoiding embarrasment, protecting ourselves from punishment or harm, and finally, for either financial/educational/or professional gain. Possibly, the only time lying might be acceptable would be to spare a friend or family member's feelings. Even then, it is questionable at best. "An honest enemy is always better than a friend who lies." I guess what is most disconcerting is that we, as a country, seem to be less concerned with knowing or believing the actual facts, and we are increasingly nonchalant about lies. George F. Keenan, counselor of the U.S. Embassy in Stalin's Moscow warned us of the power held by lies. He said, "in the case of many people it is possible to make them feel and believe practically anything. No matter how untrue something might be for people who believe it, it becomes true." In order to understand his statement, one has to look no further than the scientific facts about covid vaccines and climate change, the actual photos of the January 6 Capitol Insurrection, or the final statistics of who won our recent presidential election. No matter how difficult the truth is for you to hear or accept, reality is always preferable to falsities and delusion. Friedrich Nietzsche said, "I am not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on, I can't believe you. I hope there will be a shift in our country's values. This is not an atmosphere in which to raise our children and grandchildren. Something MUST change....soon. (And, as a total unrelated comment: shame on you, Justice Gorsuch-google it!) Now, more than ever, our country's current challenges, burdens, and difficulties have exacerbated our desire to live joyfully. We need to seek every opportunity to laugh. The wonderful thing about laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system which divides people. Mark Twain said, "against the assault of laughter nothing can stand." Humans have one really effective weapon against stress and anxiety-and it is the ability to laugh, it is our spiritual warfare. We know that laughing enhances our intake of oxygen; and it stimulates our lungs, muscles, and heart. It increases endorphins released in our brains and also improves the immune system. It will keep us healthy and young. So, surround yourself with friends and family who provide comic relief. Watch a funny movie or listen to Kimmel's opening monologue. Play with your children and grandchildren or your pet-they always make us smile. Dr. Seuss was right when he said, "from there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!" "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: ALL OF THEM MAKE ME LAUGH." PEACE OUT-ONE B