Turning 67: Reflecting on life

Recently I celebrated my sixty seventh Birthday. To be totally honest, that number totally freaks me out. On my Birthday, a high school friend asked if I would be attending our FIFTIETH REUNION? After a long pause and regaining consciousness, trembling I responded: I still feel seventeen-how could we be this old? I am now officially a Senior Citizen(for 2 years already). I am a member of AARP, I collect Social Security, I pay less to attend the movies, and in the Covid era my age now qualifies me as an individual who gets my vaccines before others. Thankfully, I haven't hit the early bird special at Denny's yet! Birthdays are often a time of reflection. I think about regrets, the advantages of being old, what I am grateful for, and lessons and wisdom that come with maturity. To be honest, I don't love the experience of mandatory colonoscopies, mammographys and ultrasounds, or the arthritis that shows up in my shoulders, knees, fingers, and toes. I regret that I am now the age where these are constant and real issues in my life. But what is, is. So,I do the required testings, and try to ignore the various nuisance issues as much as possible. Another regret might be that my parents never encouraged me to search for a career that I would love, and that I could have with a family. I wished they had stressed a career, as I did, with my daughters. Yet,I have been lucky enough to have several jobs (selling advertising for town guide books, being an activity director for an assisted living senior facility, and presently selling life and health insurance) that afforded me the opportunity to raise my girls and be present for them whenever they needed me. Not for one minute do I regret attending Christmas Choral Concerts, PTA Meetings, tennis matches, soccer and softball games, and being class mom for many years.(Maybe, I could have done without the 6 a.m. phone calls that school is closed on a snow day!) I have been fortunate enough to witness my daughters mature into fabulous, kind, honest women with terrific careers, loving marriages, and beautiful families. It's such a mind blowing experience to observe your babies develop into spectacular adults. They handle life and parenthood with patience, wisdom and grace. My husband and I like to believe we might have played a small role in that. Along the way, I hope I have lightened the load for my girls, my husband, my parents, my sister, and my friends. "No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it for anyone else." Charles Dickens So although I didn't become CEO of a major company, I had the true honor and privilege of being a full time Mom to my children. So, really no regrets! As I age, I have often pondered what life lessons I learned. First and Foremost, " the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and to be loved in return." Eden Ahbez The only way to be happy is to love yourself so that you can love others. And after that, "the only way to be truly happy is to make others you love happy." (William Carlos Williams) Next, material objects don't buy happiness. Yes, money sure does make you life easier,and helps pay the bills; but it means nothing if you don't have your health. "The first wealth is health" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). Again, you must take care of yourself in order to take care of others. As a dentist's daughter, take care of your teeth!!! Don't ignore your body and any symptoms. Don't put off getting annual check ups! You know your body better than anyone. If something is bothering you, do not ignore it! Which brings me to the issue of what to do if you are sick. AND THIS IS MY MOST IMPORTANT LESSON: EVERYONE, NO MATTER AGE OR INTELLIGENCE, NEEDS AN ADVOCATE WITH THEM AT A DOCTOR VISIT OR AT A HOSPITAL STAY. When you are at a Doctor's office or in the hospital, the physician is spewing out a diagnosis, treatments, protocols, and medications, etc. You need to be armed with relevant questions and have someone by your side that you trust to listen, write down information, and for moral support. Often when scary information is being relayed, the patient tunes out, and memory is jumbled. BRING YOUR ADVOCATE. Another lesson (which I am still working on and trying to perfect) is LISTENING. When someone comes to you with a problem, or needs to vent their anger about work, their boss, a friend, or a family member; they just want your unconditional support, and a shoulder to lean on. They do not want your sage advice! Unless they specifically ask you, do not offer up your opinion. That is not the reason they are venting. Just LISTEN, and be there for them. Finally, this has been the hardest lesson of all for me: Lower your expectations. I have learned over the years that you cannot expect someone to act or react in the manner that you would. Family and friends are going to disappoint you at some juncture in your life. You will not always get the result you expect, and ultimately you will feel sad, and let down. It's hard, but you must let it go, and just keep going...MOVE ON! "Our heads are round so thought can change direction." Francis Picabia There are some ADVANTAGES TO GROWING OLD: 1) I am a Grandparent! Actually, I am Nonni! Grandchildren are the best invention in the world. They always make you smile, laugh,and keep you young. This is the greatest role of a lifetime! Who Knew? 2) I get to grow old with my BEST FRIEND! My husband, cofidant, and lover who is always right beside me. He's supportive, kind, patient, and really smart! Thank G-d for this guy. 3) Family dinners have increased in size as the years go on, and they happen often! Always fun! 5 kids running around like maniacs! 4) I'M NOT DEAD YET! "IN THREE WORDS, I CAN SUM UP EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE: IT GOES ON!" Robert Frost Happy Halloween! PEACE OUT-ONE B